Soft Skills Lacking - Shooting Self in Foot?

*Note: TL;DR @ bottom
Hello,
I'm kind of in a weird spot now that I'm 4 months in my first legitimate IT role. I'm in all regards—excluding title—a glorified helpdesk tech.
[TANGENT START]
This company is way small and the knights of the office I'm at are the devs. They are basically the ones treated like royalty due to the fact that the major output of the company is.... you guessed it... software.
I wouldn't mind the role as much if it didn't feel like I was being thrown to the wolves. The guy who I've been shadowing for only a couple months has already decided to move on—and he was new!
The meetings I've had with upper management have all screamed messages of "you need to be up to pace with everything we've done since starting this company and you also need to be up to par with the skill-set/work-execution of the previous employees".
My immediate answer to this is "why should I?!"
[TANGENT END]
I am by nature, a very introverted person. I do not seek meaningless conversation nor do I engage in pointless, time-wasting conversations with other coworkers. I honestly don't find the need to and I don't care to invest myself in their lives any more than I already am.
Due to that, I've been noticing weird behaviors in response to my behavior where I haven't ever been hostile to anyone. Just because I don't start chatting up with someone at the water cooler doesn't mean I'm not friendly. I always try to be as friendly as I can so that they'll want to come to me when they have problems. I smile (most of the time) and I ask people if they're doing OK (with their equipment).
I will admit that my social skills are not the best around but I do my job. That should be all anyone cares about but it's not the simple, apparently.
I get off fine with my teammates. Again, I don't chat on during the day... which might be awkward to some, but then again I'm not that interesting of a person.
TL;DR:
I'm becoming very self-aware to the fact that people in my office are starting to regard me as someone who they might not want to depend on.
I'm still fulfilling requests and I'm doing my job as best as I can considering it's my first. The fact remains that that degree I spent 4 years working towards didn't prep me for anything I'm experiencing now. Even from a technical perspective, unless you've actually used the tools and have experience going through the many processes involved in a real-world/production environment, you aren't being setup to succeed. You're just being setup with the bare-minimum and that's discerning. It doesn't help that the leadership here isn't ideal in that they have the most unrealistic of expectations and seem to just believe that IT can do anything. Their style is to delegate with the minimalist prep.
What role or position in IT would I be a better fit for?
This job is way too service-oriented and I'm constantly feeling as though I'm not cut out for it. I thought being a Security Analyst would be my dream job but I don't really even know what one would be expected to do.
Comments
This is going to be really tough for you to hear but your poor attitude and inflated ego are the majority of your problem here. Start by fixing those. It doesn't matter what position you take, if you act like that then you are on the fast track to getting canned.
2020: GCIP | GCIA
2021: GRID | GDSA | Pentest+
2022: GMON | GCWN | Linux+
WGU BS IT-NA | SANS Grad Cert: PT&EH | SANS Grad Cert: ICS Security | SANS Grad Cert: Cyber Defense Ops
A significant part of what makes an IT department successful is good project management. It is not uncommon for there to be a large learning curve to understanding how an organization runs their projects. Unfortunately it sounds like your organization probably doesn't have strong project management practices and operates more informally. That combined with your inexperience and communication challenges more significantly more difficult that it has to be.
I would look at CompTIA's Project+ certification and the ITIL Foundation certification to understand the operating frameworks of larger IT organizations. Even if you don't complete those certifications, having that large will help you in the long run when seeking more senior roles at larger organizations.
2020: GCIP | GCIA
2021: GRID | GDSA | Pentest+
2022: GMON | GCWN | Linux+
WGU BS IT-NA | SANS Grad Cert: PT&EH | SANS Grad Cert: ICS Security | SANS Grad Cert: Cyber Defense Ops
First and foremost, you can look at your job as what they said they hired you to do, as opposed to what they actually want you to do.
I'd suggest talking to your management and asking what the priorities are and then aligning what you do with that. Because I don't know exactly what your job role and job title is, I'm hesitant, but your manager should be available to help prioritise and assist.
Secondly, nobody in the real world should be expecting a university graduate to come out with real-world skills. Even these developers have to spend time learning what practical development in their organisation looks like. There will be job-specific processes and ways of working that they will have to get used to, and none of that will be something they will have learned before joining.
My last part is around how you expect to do your job well (whatever level you're at) unless you understand how and what and why the people you're working with perform their roles. Are you supposed to be looking at logs? How do you know if James really was dialling in remotely at 3.15 am from Nebraska if you didn't know he was off on holiday? It may not be normal, but it will probably be effective if you're aware of these things.
Did you find a hole punched through the firewall? Maybe Ted from marketing was assigned to stand up a new system because they have a rush delivery and the risk was accepted by the CMO.
The soft skills are what are likely to make you stand out, and at the end of the day, doing security is making sure that everyone else is doing their job while protecting company assets.
Start low and slow. Come up with a plan. Find out what good looks like, and if they can't tell you, come up with something that can be used as a starter for 10 to begin the discussion. And talk to people. You never know when you'll need their help too at some point.
Having said all that, it sounds like you may need to move roles. However unless you know where you want to go, and what you want from the new place, you'll find a new set of problems that may or may not get you to your next step.
Most of us have been in that position, some are currently in that same spot. Take this experience as a stepping stone to where you want to be. 4 months is not enough time, stay there for another 8 months and start looking after that. I practically did the same when i started. This 1 year experience will help you to find better jobs in the future.