So my company decided they wanted to pull off the ISO 27001 audit and continue on their initial schedule even though I was brought on late and had to catch up late with everything they've been doing—along with learning/growing on the job.
Things seem very bleak now due to the fact that my team of two shrunk to one and the "lead" for the team is on leave for the audit.
I've been pulling my hair for the past 2 months trying to prepare and keep up with what the company PM has asked for this thing (on top of the stuff I'm supposed to be doing just for the regular part of the job; i.e. helpdesk) but I'm not confident things will go well.
For starters, I feel like we're missing some things the standard clearly calls for. The PM addressed some things before but nothing was done about it.
Secondly, the CEO got involved just about 2-3 weeks ago and prep for this has been happening for what seems like 7 months now. The audit is happening in a week.
I'd gladly sip through my tea throughout the entire thing if it weren't for the fact that I will be the primary POC for just about everything that goes on that day. The PM has told me they will simply refer the auditor to me if he gets asked anything and I'm just sitting there thinking to myself "why?". I can understand why since this is largely being undertaken by IT and it's basically all governed by IT—which I am a part of—but I can't just pull off something like this when I have no experience, nobody to pull from, etc.
Every fiber in my body is telling my to leave but I have bills to pay. This is also—in its own weird little way—a learning opportunity. This whole fiasco has been a learning opportunity in different ways.
At the end of the day, I just don't feel ready. This isn't about "imposter syndrome" or what have you. The reality is I'm a recent grad who only just got on board with the "real world".
If the audit doesn't go well, the fingers will be pointed at me—ME. I only just got on!
I will not be surprised if the PM and the lead throw me under the bus. They're in the right positions to do it. Everyone in my office thinks I'm weird anyway.
I think I'll be at peace if they finally fire me. It's just constant "oh, what's this". My internship was tons better than this and not just because of the workload.