Need Cover Letter/Resume Advice

So far I have applied to over 30 jobs and I have only gotten one interview.

The return rate for interview is poor and I don't know what could be causing it.

I am applying for a tech. support job.

Here's the cover letter I am using. The resume will come later once I have remove all personal information.

Dear Sir or Madam:
 
Good day.
 
I wish to apply for the [tech. support] position as posted on [monster.ca].
 
I am an experienced user in Microsoft products such as Office, Windows operating systems and related software.
 
I also have experience in these areas: customer service - troubleshooting and resolving system issues; documenting daily events; setting up and repairing hardware, printers and other peripherals; configuring e-mail, Internet, networks and servers; other operating systems including DOS, Linux, Mac OS X and Unix; programming in PC and mainframe computer languages.
 
I have the drive to learn and grow because I enjoy working with computers and learning new skills.
 
Briefly stated, I have excellent communication and people skills that enable me to contribute effectively as a team member.  I am a quick and robust learner.  Most of all, I am a person with integrity and commitment.
 
I have attached my résumé for your review.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require further information.
 
Thank you for your time.  I would appreciate being considered for this position.  Please contact me at your earliest convenience.
 
Yours truly,
 
John Doe
[Telephone Number]
[E-mail Address]

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Comments

sthomas

Looks good to me, don't forget to send a thank you letter after you have an interview.

Gundamtdk

Can somebody recommend a good resume and cover letter writing book with real world examples?

Kaminsky

You haven't mentioned you A+ or Network+ or what sort of experience you have in the field. Don't save this for the resume as some sort of surprise. Whack it in to the cover letter... All guns blazing.

In the cover letter, you have got to get them to WANT to read your resume. Even if they end up reading the same thing again in your resume... who cares.. they are reading your resume. However, it would be a good idea to word things slightly different for the cover letter rather than just cut and paste from one to the other.

Also, your second line is an immediate "File to Bin" for any sort of tech support job.

Gundamtdk wrote:

I am an experienced user in Microsoft products such as Office, Windows operating systems and related software.

You are looking for a job supporting the experienced users, not be another one.

What about "I have an in depth knowledge of NT/2K/XP Operating System configuration and experience with a wide range of Windows based applications including a sound knowledge with various versions of MS Office products"

Theoretically those two say exactly the same thing but you can see the difference in the second one in the way it is worded to make it more appealing as a knowledge resource the recuiter can hire to help support their user base.

You also need to bring across the A+ hardware side and delve into the networking knowledge of how it all comes together.

This is your initial sales pitch to get them to read your resume which in turn, is worded to get them to give you and interview. From then on your on your own in getting them to hire you.

Word it as if you are trying to sell someone else to them. IE "I know this guy who has a really good knowldedge of Windows and Networking you might be interested in....." Don't be afraid to sell yourself. Nobody else is going to do it for you and never ever worry if they think your are up to it or not. You've just got to get them interested.

Gundamtdk

Here's my resume.

The style is the same (without the bold and underlining), but the dates and content has been heavily altered and cut down. The spacing is not lining properly on this forum so ignore it.

Employment:     September 2003 -   Technical Support  (Part-time contract work)    
                Present            Rach. Company, Oakville, ON.

                                   Responsibilities:  - Provided technical support to customers on
                                                        the phone.
                                                      - Troubleshoot and tracked problems using ABC tools.  
                                                      - Acted as a in between various departments
                                                        (E.g. Tier 2)   
                                                      - Promoted Rach. Products to customers.  
 
                                   Achievements:      - Received top 10 employee award.

               August 1999  -      Micro. Desktop Support.  (Internship) 
               May 2001            Hordlie Inc.,  Oakville, ON.         
 
                                   Responsibilities:  - Resolve workstation issues.
                                                     - Preform backup updates on +200 PCs.
                                                     - Our team successfully installed +300 PCs during
                                                        company restructuring.

                                   Achievement:       - Created new batch script to image PCs faster.                                                                Increased in productivity from 5 PCs to 15 PCs.                                                              200% improvement

                                   Performance Review:  A  

   
      
Professional    2003              Network+ Certificate
Certificates:   2002              A+ Certificate


Certificate:    2003              First Aid Certificate


Education:      2002 – 2004       University of Toronto, Toronto, ON  (Part-time courses)
                                  Programming Certificate
                                  Achievement:	Worked on a team to create a database program using VB to create a                                         remote robot.

                1999 - 2002       George Brown College, Toronto, ON
                                  Programming Diploma 
                                  Achievement:  Created an invoice system to track restaurant orders using                                    software life cycle.

                1992 - 1997      Valley Farm High School, Toronto, ON
                                 Achievement:  - On the Honour Roll for 4 straight years.               
                                               - Received business certificate.

Volunteer
Experience:                      Community:	Oakville Park Festival, Oakville, Ontario


References:                      Available upon request

Plantwiz

Don't use Dear Sir or Madam. Find out WHO you are sending the letter to.

FWIW

Gundamtdk

Plantwiz wrote:

Don't use Dear Sir or Madam. Find out WHO you are sending the letter to.

FWIW

Some postings do not list the name of the person.

Plantwiz

Gundamtdk wrote:

Plantwiz wrote:

Don't use Dear Sir or Madam. Find out WHO you are sending the letter to.

FWIW

Some postings do not list the name of the person.

YMMV,
it's in your interest to do the research to find a name. Usually just takes a phone call to the receptionist.

royal

Plantwiz wrote:

Gundamtdk wrote:

Plantwiz wrote:

Don't use Dear Sir or Madam. Find out WHO you are sending the letter to.

FWIW

Some postings do not list the name of the person.

YMMV,
it's in your interest to do the research to find a name. Usually just takes a phone call to the receptionist.

I agree that it's always best to direct it towards a specific individual. If you absolutely cannot do this, I would do something more along the lines of, "Dear Hiring Manager." I would also combine those sentences and form paragraphs. It looks more professional, proper, easier to read, and more clean overall.

Here's an actual cover letter I sent out when trying to find a job.

date goes here

Dear Hiring Manager:

I was excited to hear about your job opening for the Network Services position. I have several years of educational experience related directly to this position including a bachelor’s degree in Network and Communications Management. In addition to my bachelor’s degree, I have received several certifications such as Comptia A+ Certification, Comptia Network+ Certification, and Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) certification. I have several months of real world experience working in the Information Technology field.

Before returning to school to obtain my Bachelors Degree, I worked as a Level One Network Engineer. I implemented server solutions such as Windows 2000 Server which included installing Active Directory, Exchange Server, and implementing a managed Symantec Antivirus server solution for a business which consisted of 50-75 users.

In addition to the knowledge I’ve gained through my college education and certifications, I’ve learned a lot on my own about computer networks and how computers operate. I build my own computers and tweak them for optimum performance. You can call me an enthusiast if you like, but I love and enjoy computers and have an ambition to excel and learn as new technologies come out. This is what I love about Information Technology, there is always something new.

I have enclosed all the information required to apply for this position. I am fairly confident that you will look at me as a worthy candidate. I look forward to hearing from you to set up an interview appointment.

Gundamtdk

I forgot to include the section:

Education:      2005 - 2006       Diamond Institute, Toronto, ON
                                  Working towards MCSE/MCSA certification
                                             - Managing and Maintaining a Windows 2003 Environment
                                             - Windows Server 2003 Network Infrastructure
                                             - Windows Exchange 2003

Gundamtdk

I don't know how to present my education. I got educated as a programmer, but all the jobs I have gotten so far is for tech. support. I have decided to focus on my job experience and look for a full-time tech. support job.

Though I am afraid an employer would be puzzled as to my mismatch education and career.

Kaminsky

icroyal wrote:

Here's an actual cover letter I sent out when trying to find a job.

date goes here

Dear Hiring Manager:

I was excited to hear about your job opening for the Network Services position. I have several years of educational experience related directly to this position including a bachelor’s degree in Network and Communications Management. In addition to my bachelor’s degree, I have received several certifications such as Comptia A+ Certification, Comptia Network+ Certification, and Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) certification. I have several months of real world experience working in the Information Technology field.

Before returning to school to obtain my Bachelors Degree, I worked as a Level One Network Engineer. I implemented server solutions such as Windows 2000 Server which included installing Active Directory, Exchange Server, and implementing a managed Symantec Antivirus server solution for a business which consisted of 50-75 users.

In addition to the knowledge I’ve gained through my college education and certifications, I’ve learned a lot on my own about computer networks and how computers operate. I build my own computers and tweak them for optimum performance. You can call me an enthusiast if you like, but I love and enjoy computers and have an ambition to excel and learn as new technologies come out. This is what I love about Information Technology, there is always something new.

I have enclosed all the information required to apply for this position. I am fairly confident that you will look at me as a worthy candidate. I look forward to hearing from you to set up an interview appointment.

That's good. Sets a nice upbeat tone of keen and motivated. However, the "I am fairly confident" bit ruined the whole effect for me, coming across as cocky and presumptious rather than confident in your abilities. "File to Bin" on that line alone without looking at the resume. "I have inclosed my resume for you to look through and hope that you would consider me suitable for the position." would have sounded much better. Not humble but business like.

Great letter apart from that.

Plantwiz

See, I like the 'I'm confident' part....but would have dropped 'fairly'.

Kaminsky alternative is good, but I would be cautious with ""I have enclosed my resume for you to look through and hope that you would consider me suitable for the position."

'HOPE' that you would consider. I'd recommend giving them and action or being proactive with it rather then being 'hopeful' or maybe even despite.

I have enclosed my resume for your review. I will contact you next week (specify a point in time), to discuss any questions you may have and to set up an interview.

Best thing....go with what works for your personality and the type of company you are applying to.

royal

Thanks for the feedback. Of course my intent is not to come off as cocky, as that is not how I am at all, so I appreciate your bringing that to my attention. Thanks for the alternative suggestions as well. It is much appreciated.

Gundamtdk

Should I start off with this line in my cover letter if I am applying for a helpdesk job?

"As a computer technical support professional, I believe I can contribute my skills and knowledge to the helpdesk team."

Plantwiz

Gundamtdk wrote:

Should I start off with this line in my cover letter if I am applying for a helpdesk job?

"As a computer technical support professional, I believe I can contribute my skills and knowledge to the helpdesk team."

As a computer technical support professional, my skills will compliment the knowledge base of the existing help desk team and with my knowledge of 'x' our customers will be assisted in a timely manner.

(of course, if you don't have something unique and applicable to the situation....this wouldn't work.....say you have Unix knowledge or Vista knowledge (because you've been using Beta since it first was released), you could highlight these skills if the company needed them. If the company has no use for Unix or isn't using Vista...then use it with an 'as the company upgrades into Vista....my knowledge will be very helpful in training other team members and assisting clients.

But yes, your line can work. Make sure you tweak it to the individual company if you have that information available to you.

Gundamtdk

I have worked the sentence down to this:

"As an experienced computer technical support professional, I am looking forward to contribute my skills and knowledge to the helpdesk team at the ABC Company."

Gundamtdk

In my resume should I include a list of skills do I have? (e.g. Windows XP, C++, LAN setup, etc.)

If yes, how should my list be organized and setup?

coldbug

Gundamtdk wrote:

Dear Sir or Madam:
 
 
I wish to apply for the [tech. support] position as posted on [monster.ca].
 
 
I also have experience in these areas: customer service - troubleshooting and resolving system issues; documenting daily events; setting up and repairing hardware, printers and other peripherals; configuring e-mail, Internet, networks and servers; other operating systems including DOS, Linux, Mac OS X and Unix; programming in PC and mainframe computer languages.

i still cant find a job, too, but I want you to change these. you have better job experience than i have..so you look good.

replace Dear sir/madam with Dear Hiring Manager, or Dear Mr. John Doe <if you know name, its far more formal> but dont if you are not sure whether its Mr or Mrs.

-replace the first line with something a little more eye catching..like

I am very delighted to have an opportunity to see an opening position for Help desk <job id# xxxxx> that you have posted on <date/month/year>. It has my full attention, and i am very interested in joining your organization.

- that paragraph about your experience should be in your resume..there shouldn't be any job experience in the cover letter. So, replace it with something like this

I have a deep interest about I.T, and to build my career as an I.T associate. I see myself as a hard working, dedicated, and highly motivated individual who always perform at best. I do what is best for the company by giving such richness in integrity, morality, creativity, personality, and loyalty. I have always been my best at providing customer service with good communicative skills. When I was an assistant concierge at European hotel in my country, i received two best customer service recognition letters in a year.

did you see the last part i was telling the hiring manager about what rewards i got for a good job performance?
thats very important part in the cover letter. even a pat on the back from your managers for doing a good job should be put in the cover letter..Hiring managers want to know what kind of worker you are.

other than those..rest of your letter is good.

Good luck dude! wish me luck too.