cover letter review, please!

I've pasted my cover letter below. Any ideas/comments?

Dear, xxx:

I am contacting you regarding the Desktop Support position posted on your website. Although I have a masterâ€™s degree in psychology, I have decided to change my career path. Several months ago I obtained my CCNA after completing the Cisco Networking Academy Program at a local college. I recently earned my MCP and am now currently studying for the MCDST. I plan on taking the A+ certification exams within the next few months as well. I also make all hardware and software upgrades on my own personal computer, as well as those of friends and family.

Before receiving my masterâ€™s degree, I was employed at a residential group home for autistic children, where I became a house manager after only one year. While working at the group home, I developed organizational and time management skills, as well as the ability to work in a fast paced and often stressful environment. I believe that these transferable skills will serve me well in the field of IT.

I feel that my past experiences have prepared me for the Desktop Support position. I look
forward to meeting with you to discuss my background further.

Sincerely,
xxx

Find more posts tagged with

Comments

deneb829

Yikes!

Whew ... ok, initial shock over with. Now, let's get you cleaned up.

I think your focus on a Master's degree is a bit too much for a desktop support position. In fact, I wouldn't mention it in your cover letter at all and just bury it somewhere on your resume. I would also drop any mention on a career path change - save that for the interview, they'll ask you.

Your experience at supporting friends and family is fine, but you might want to start about how you always loved PCs and found yourself doing side work. I guess you can tie that into the career change. You know, waking up everyday looking forward to what new technology challenges were waiting for you.

A group home for autistic children is great if you're applying for a management position at CompUSA or Best Buy, as the workers there tend to have the same social challenges as autistic children. This part may be better under experience than on the cover letter.

What about the company you are applying at - have you done your research? The cover letter is to really tailor you resume toward specific things about that company. If they're a hospital looking for an IT person for example - here is where you would want to put any experience you have that would be relevant to their specific environment.

Remember, you're applying for an entry level desktop support position, so you want to come off as a desktop support tech, not a highly educated psychologist. Use your skills to think like your potential employers. Step into the role of a desktop support tech and convince them that is what you are. They're not looking for a psychologist, but that doesn't mean that you can't be one.

Hope this helps some and good luck!

Gundamtdk

I am contacting you regarding the Desktop Support position posted on your website. Although I have a masterâ€™s degree in psychology,

I don't recommend mentioning the masterâ€™s degree in psychology.

I would have thrown out your resume because I seen you as a person in psychology who only knows a bit about computers, but not serious about it.

I would mention that are working in the IT field now because you like computers or something like that.

A group home for autistic children is great if you're applying for a management position at CompUSA or Best Buy, as the workers there tend to have the same social challenges as autistic children. This part may be better under experience than on the cover letter.

Recruiters do not care that you are helping the disabled for a Desktop Support position.

Anything that is not focus on your current position target I would throw out. (Psychology and helping children)

Mishra

#1 don't put a comma after Dear

#2 I do a lot better in interviews trying to explain my love for learning and progression in the IT field than trying to say I love certifications. Most people would rather hear you say that you want to apply the skills you have now and really do a great job for their company than hearing you want to get your MCSE or whatever certification.

Kaminsky

However.....

MQuinn6 wrote:

... I was employed at a residential group home for autistic children....

I feel that my past experiences have prepared me for the Desktop Support position.

This would make you highly experienced if I were hiring with some of the users I have come across

MQuinn6

Thanks for all the comments. I'll keep working on it.
I guess I'm just having a tough time because I don't have any IT experience at this point.

seraphus

Why not mention the Masters in Psychology?

Yes, this is a desktop support role, but are you going to
stay at that role forever? Or will you be looking to grow with
the company? The MS in P shows that you possess the skills to
communicate with others. It also shows that you were dedicated
enough to obtain a post-grad degree. Now, you're going to apply
that same dedication to performing for your future employer.

Gundamtdk

If you are going to mention the Masters in Psychology I recommend you focus on the people skills aspect of it since Desktop Support require people skills.