Need advice and assistance for techncial cover letter

I need some assistance and advice with my cover letter.

I am having the following issues with my cover letter:

- The cover letter feels too long
- When I list the qualifications in the cover letter it reads like laundry list
- When I read the cover letter it feels there is no substance to it

<Date>

<Company Name>
<Company Address>

RE: <Company Position>

Dear Hiring Team Members:

I am a support technician with a proven track record of being dependable is the background I would bring to this position.
I have received awards for dependability (attendance), work quality, and top producer.

Briefly stated, here are some of the values I am bringing to <company Name>:

* I am a certified CompTIA A+ and Network+ technician
* In college and university, I have developed excellent analytical, critical thinking and technical skills
* MCSA/MCSE candidate
* I am a quick learner and I know how to research for solutions

Some highlights of my relevant qualifications and work experience:

* Providing solutions to hundreds of technical and non-technical users: investigating, troubleshooting, identifying alternative solutions (short term and long term) and resolving computer software and hardware problems
* Prioritizing support activities and ensuring service quality: by documenting, tracking and escalating issues
* Working independently, and collaborating in a team to analyze/design, and implement user requirements
* Communicating accurately and clearly to instruct computer users of various levels on how to resolve problems
* Technical expertise in:
-- Setting up/configuring/troubleshooting: applications, web applications (internet/intranet), PC, hardware, networks, printers, printer management, and peripherals
-- Microsoft (MS): MS Office suite, MS Outlook, MS Exchange 2003 and related software
-- Operating systems: DOS, Linux, Mac OS X, Unix and Windows NT
-- Protocols such as DHCP, DNS, HTTP, POP3, SMTP and TCP/IP

On a personal note, I am a person with commitment and integrity.
* Never been charged and have no criminal records (police check is clean)
* Drive to be the best, as <Company Name> is famous for <company's achivements>
* Believe in long-term relationship with my employer and I get along well with people

Variable shifts will not be an issue for me.

Thank you in advance for reviewing my attached resume. I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

<My Name>

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Comments

royal

That is definitely much too long and looks unorganized. I think combining many of your statements and forming them into paragraphs that transition into each other will help out tremendously. The cover letter is supposed to be short and capture their attention very quickly while they weed out resumes to throw in the garbage. You make the cover letter short and catchy, so they will see your actual skills in your resume.

Here's a copy of my cover letter. Perhaps it might be of help.

FirstName LastName
Address
City, State Zip
XXX-XXX-XXXX
e-mail
Date

Dear Hiring Manager:

I was excited to hear about your job opening for the position of <Enter position name here>. I have roughly two years of real world experience working in the Information Technology field focusing on messaging infrastructures. I have several years of educational experience related directly to this position which includes a bachelor’s degree in <enter degree here>. In addition to my bachelor’s degree, I have received several certifications such as Microsoft Certified Systems Engineering (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator in Messaging (MCSA:M), Comptia A+ Certification, as well as Comptia Network+ certification.

Currently, I work as a Microsoft Consultant focusing on messaging environments. My primary focus is in Active Directory and Microsoft Exchange design, implementation, and management.
In addition to the knowledge I’ve gained through my work experience, certifications, and college career, I’ve learned a lot on my own about computer networks and how computers operate. I build my own computers and tweak them for optimum performance. You can call me an enthusiast if you like, but I love and enjoy computers and have an ambition to excel and learn as new technologies come out. This is what I love about Information Technology, there is always something new.

I have enclosed all the information required to apply for this position. I believe I am the perfect candidate for this position and am anxious to begin working as hard as possible to help benefit your company and its' stakeholders. I look forward to hearing from you to set up an interview appointment.

Gundamtdk

I don't know what to do.

From the cover letter books I have written, the job posting requirements should be listed in the cover letter.

But the problem is some job postings have requirements that goes to two pages.

How do I infuse the job requirements to the cover letter without being too long?

Darthn3ss

i've always thought that cover letters should be short - 2 or three small paragraphs. your resume should list your qualifications.

malcybood

Darthn3ss wrote:

i've always thought that cover letters should be short - 2 or three small paragraphs. your resume should list your qualifications.

Completely agree & I always try to think along the lones of:

who you are, what you do, what you want to do and do they have an opportunity? then mention qualifications and skills are attached in your CV.

Whatever you do don't make a list of skills in your cover letter, however you may reference key acheivements such as self study towards certs etc etc but integrate this into a paragraph not a list.

Ahriakin

Gundamtdk wrote:

I don't know what to do.

From the cover letter books I have written, the job posting requirements should be listed in the cover letter.

But the problem is some job postings have requirements that goes to two pages.

How do I infuse the job requirements to the cover letter without being too long?

Don't list them. Your resume is a factual list but your cover letter is your chance to personalize/humanize the application, to give you and that resume some texture, something they will remember on a personal level rather than being just another list of certs/achievements. Work the major job requirements into your letter but do it in a conversational manner, treat it almost exactly as you would actually talking to the hiring manager if given 2 minutes to explain why they should pick you. Royal's approach is perfect imho, he presents the most pertinent professional information in an easy to read and friendly manner without seeming un-professional or arrogant. It's a VERY hard to thing to nail down and your cover letter should always be evolving.