Soft skills ?

Hi fellows

I'm in a bit of a tricky situation at work ... I'm doing Desktop/Network support as a contracter with the possibility of becoming a permanent employee down the line.another fellow and I were hired at the sametime and the permanent role is only going to one of us, so it is kind of a competitive environment between me & him.

my dilemma is I think myco-worker will win without a problem not because he has more technical knowledge or experience but because he has better soft skills. let me provide a little background before you think im a wierdo lacking in basic social skills.

I am an immgrant, which comes with it's own set of challenges, chief among them any experience you had before you come to Canada is Null & Void ... I am fluent in english so communication is not a problem at all but, during the downtimes when there is not alot of work to be done. my colleuge's (including the supervisor who makes the hiring decision) we sit around talk & have some fun ... 99% of the jokes & slang go over my head they are usually referring to something that requires prior knowledge of the local culture ... my co-worker is a decent guy but i have alot more experience & knowledge then he does yet all the interestig work is assigned to him by virtue of his very friendly relationship with the supervisor.

One other thing which I think contributes to this problem is cultural differences .. it is very difficult for me to openly brag about accomplishments and things I have done and will only come up if it is relavent to the conversation on the other hand my co-worker has absoluetly no problem of slipping very trivial things into a conversation.

It is frustrating because i can feel this oppurtinity slipping away from me & my usuall way around obstacles of rolling up my sleeves will not work in this instance. I suppose this cannot be helped ... anyway I just wanted to rant but i appreciate any advice.

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Comments

astorrs

Would you be comfortable discussing your concerns with your supervisor, expressing you interest in the position, etc?

kaynaan

astorrs wrote:

Would you be comfortable discussing your concerns with your supervisor, expressing you interest in the position, etc?

it is already a rat race so to speak .. there is no qeustion of my interest in the role or that of my co-worker ... the carrot has been dangled infront of us since day 1 ... we were both told that 1 of us will get the position ....

my misgivings on how things are going is not something i can talk to my supervisor about .. how would i even word it ? *eerm .. I'm afraid your getting chummy with * is making me uncomfortable ...

if i were in his shoes i would laugh @ me

besides it would only look to him that i was questoning his objectivity (which i clearly am from my post) .

astorrs

kaynaan wrote:

astorrs wrote:

Would you be comfortable discussing your concerns with your supervisor, expressing you interest in the position, etc?

it is already a rat race so to speak .. there is no qeustion of my interest in the role or that of my co-worker ... the carrot has been dangled infront of us since day 1 ... we were both told that 1 of us will get the position ....

my misgivings on how things are going is not something i can talk to my supervisor about .. how would i even word it ? *eerm .. I'm afraid your getting chummy with * is making me uncomfortable ... if i were in his shoes i would laugh @ me

besides it would only look to him that i was questoning his objectivity (which i clearly am from my post) .

Sorry I should have been clearer. What I meant was would you be comfortable asking him how you could improve your chances of getting the job. Were there any suggestions he had for you, anyway you could communicate your capabilities/interests better, etc.

Like you said, you definitely don't want to come across as questioning his objectivity, but if you can find out what areas your co-worker might have an edge on you in your bosses eyes, you may be able to make some changes to mitigate them while allowing your superior technical skills to shine brighter than his.

kaynaan

^ It is not something I would usually consider but I will try it.

Speaking up is something i need to do more often .. I will begin by requesting to be assigned to the more interesting tasks instead of waiting & your suggestion ...something akin to a performance review and asking for recommendations on what i can do to improve sounds reasonable... thank you for the advice

Daniel333

kaynaan,

Getting a job is always about social skills. Find a common interest and dive in. Baseball, soccer, golf something to start bridging the cultural gap.

best of luck!

astorrs

kaynaan wrote:

^ It is not something I would usually consider but I will try it.

Speaking up is something i need to do more often .. I will begin by requesting to be assigned to the more interesting tasks instead of waiting & your suggestion ...something akin to a performance review and asking for recommendations on what i can do to improve sounds reasonable... thank you for the advice

I wouldn't make it as formal as a performance review, but I would still schedule the time to sit down with him so you're both focused.

Oh and like Daniel333 said, people usually have at least 1 thing in common, find it.

Good luck!

jryantech

So what other language do you know? Because most employers like bilingual people more then just someone who can speak English...

Kasor

Social skill is something that most IT guys are lacking until they learned from their job. Also, many IT manager from the old school STOP learning after they reach certain level.

Remember IT field is something that constantly on the move and change.

kaynaan

jryantech wrote:

So what other language do you know? Because most employers like bilingual people more then just someone who can speak English...

English,Arabic,Hindi

but i don't think that has any relevance to IT

Lamini

kanaan, i share your burden

I been in US bout 12 yrs, learned the language and all. spent other 20yrs in other countries. many envy it. i couldnt imagine being born and raised and living in the same place i grew up, theres just so much world to see. of course this is offensive to a very few, you know, the ones who never left the backyard and proud of it. its not like i had any control over it. english was language #5 for me. took 3yrs spanish when i moved to california. learned japanese during my 8yrs in japan.

i come back here after time in the u.s. air force (kicks self) and constantly have to deal with "talkers". you know, the ones who yack and have good relationships with the higher ups, but dont do much. at least not all the higher ups fall for it. but for the ones that do, it bothers me. I do get most of the jokes, but even then its not THAT funny. i guess my age has to do with it, no new jokes, same old repetitive ones.

what makes me mad is when I have this specific coworker spewing this garbage I knew like 10 years ago and he talks like its the newest $hit, and I talk about the history of it and how it came about and just about everything else... (purposely make it sound like its prehistoric) and hes like... "so, you already knew about this?". And the same thoughts are always floating in my head, "i cant believe this guy got hired". I cant believe this guy gets paid the same as me, this bothers me the most, next to, I cant believe I never got a pay raise the last 5 years.

Heres what my solution is, and can be yours. be more social.