Resume Critique

blayjin

Please critique my resume. What am I doing wrong. It's been 2 and a half months since I have started looking and made countless number of revisions to my resume. I've had interviews from multiple sub-contractors and larger companies but not getting any offers. I'm getting to a point where I'm doubting my abilities and loosing motivation.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd66x4v2_0crkvgqgn

networker050184

If you read some of the other resume critiques on here you will get a good idea of what people suggest.

As for your resume I would suggest the same I do to all. Format like the following:

summary

experience

education/certification

I use this format that was suggested to me, and I have had excellent results with it. I really wouldn't start off with just "security clearance" especially if the position you are applying to doesn't require one. Also under technical training you have a bunch of courses listed but nothing about where or when they were taken. I wouldn't put basic tanning on there either. If you are in the military (and not an officer) its a given you went through basic training.

Overall it looks pretty good and I think with a summary and a little "house keeping" in the education section you will be good to go.

Also you might want to work on interview skills if you are getting interviews and not getting offers.

blayjin

Thanks for the reply. I will add a summary and work on the education and training as suggested.

Mishra

There are a couple of things about your Resume I will suggest.

First, you need to have Experience as the first thing listed.

I would remove the Highlights section.

You need to elaborate a lot more on your network administrator position and reduce your helpdesk position explaniations. If you were there for 4 years you need to represent 4 years of work

I was told to not use bullets points and instead use paragraphs from a big company on my resume.

The technical training section looks bloated and untrust worthy. If you want this section to remain, then only include the training you have taken that relates to the job you are applying for. Remember, you should be tailoring your resume to every job you apply for. This honestly helps, I've heard many companys bring me in for an interview because "you just seem like you are a perfect fit for the job" as my resume looks like their job posting.

But honestly your resume doesn't look horrible. And if you are getting interviews then I think it might be your interviewing skills that need fixed.

Kaminsky

Did you read http://www.techexams.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=36868 by the Rhino asking for something similar very recently ? He has just posted he got to the second stage of an interview with the changes he made but you will find lots of usefull info from trawling through this forum..

Remember, for a good resume, you have to put in the time and effort. Lots of studying job ads to gather really nice words and phrases... resume databaseds and guides until you come upon a format you like and then modify it...


Never let anyone tell you the structure of a resume. Take on board what people advise and use your own gut feelings to try those ideas out and see if they sit well with you... There is no magic formula and everyone's resumes are constructed differently. Also, NEVER go to a resume writing service.... money for old rope that is....

A good bit of investigation yourself and you will be knocking out way better than those guys can ever come up with... I've never seen a good service yet. I personally got a cheap book from the local shops about it once and went through what they had to say, took on board some of their ideas and then worked it all myself by taking little bits here and there from different styles. The result was that when spending 4 years contracting I never had an interview.... The resume did it all for me and I just got asked when can I start. It's your resume.... Your advert about your ability to do what you can do to bring in money..... Would you really trust someone else to do that for you or would you think that as your life goes on, that is really a skill you should master yourself now ?

Also, once you get a resume you are happy with, make a copy and tailor that copy slightly different for each job you apply for by studying what they are after thoroughly.


You do need to do work on it seriously as a black eye is starting to form where I initially clicked the link and yourcurrent resume smacked me in the face so hard... BANG BANG BANG !

Take some time and reorganise it. As it currently is, I would give it 3 seconds of attention before it went in the bin.

Resume writing is an art and not just some slap dash notes to fil up a page and let the employer figure out you are worth hiring... You have to lead them down the path until there is nothing else but to get in touch with you..... It's a skill that takes an awfull lot of work but it is YOUR selling point so above all else, it's a skill that YOU must master. Google is your friend and so is this forum.

Kam.

blayjin

Thank you for the replies. I had taken into account suggestions made and tried making a paragraph format resume. I tried to keep it one page. I had to leave out a multitude of experience to make it but was able to keep most of my best experiences regarding Network and Systems administration. Let me know what you think about this one.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd66x4v2_1d5xtxbhc

Decided to a differently formatted paragraph resume. I think it looks more pleasing to the eye.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd66x4v2_2dg8vzjdh

Kaminsky

That's a huge block of text in the experience section and needs to be a lot briefer and better laid out. You need to get a few lines of overall brief description then a couple of key points where you did well in that job.

Anything more than that will just put people off reading. Also, not sure, but some of that stuff your mentioning you shouldn't really be putting in the public domain. Yes note the different applications and you can explain your involvement with them at interview if asked.

Looking much better though.

Kam.

networker050184

I don't think the paragraph form is very pleasing to the eye as you say. The bullet format allows people reading to pick out key accomplishments easily. It makes things "pop" out at the reader.

If this resume came before me like this I would probably trash it rather than read the whole "novel" you have clumped in the middle. People say (I've never seen any actual proof) that the average resume gets something like a 45 sec look over and it would take a lot longer than that to read yours.

The rest of it looks good, but I've always been a big fan of the bullet format for the experience section.

Mishra

From an older copy of my resume: Here is the paragraph form I'm talking about.

System Administrator
Insight Communications, 2005 – 2007 Louisville, KY
Complete system administration tasks to over 400 systems. Provide high level support for all 400 systems. Directly responsible for approximately 32 applications and over 100 systems. Each system includes operating systems using Windows 2003/2000/NT/Debian/Red Hat/Suse/Solaris 9.

High level of experience using the operating systems listed which includes: monitoring, backups, patches, installations, documentation, and server management applications. Successfully implemented and currently managing an entire monitoring solution using Nagios. Develops strategies and policy/procedures to streamline IT operations.

Administration over DHCP and WINS applications for the entire company. File server duties such as, share/NTFS level permissions, file/folder manipulation, and NT group implementations.

Complete administration of a 3000-user Exchange 5.5 mail system including: Trend Micro, Symantec, and Canit antivirus and spam solutions. Administration includes user interaction at a high level of troubleshooting for real problems.

Robust server management over a large 3500 user NT Domain in addition to a small Windows 2000 Active Directory domain. Active in the beginning stages of a migration from NT Domain and Exchange 5.5 to Windows 2003 Active Directory and Exchange 2003. Daily management of Insight’s backup strategy using Netbackup 6.0.

Currently have storage management experience in the following systems: Net App SAN, Adaptec NAS Snap Servers, and Dell EMC Ax400 iSCSI. Assist in asset management dealing with any purchases of equipment to Insight’s datacenter.

Contributes to and supports additional project-related responsibilities as they arise. Assist with planning of new project requirements from a technical point of view. 24/7 on-call for any server level issues that may arise with systems I direct.

So just split up your current listing into mini paragraphs.

Tech109

My eyes glazed over when I looked at the huge paragraph.

I think it could be improved by reducing the "wordiness" in some of the descriptions of what you did. Try to keep your sentences brief, to the point, and direct. Don't try to pad the paragraph to make it sound intelligent. If you have correct spelling, tense and grammar, the reader will know you are intelligent.

For example...

"...also configured user computers and handhelds to enable proper functioning of devices."

becomes:

"...also configured workstations and handheld devices."


Just my two cents, but I think it would be a given that the reason you are configuring those things is to enable proper functioning.

Hope that helps.

blayjin

Tech109 wrote:

My eyes glazed over when I looked at the huge paragraph.

I think it could be improved by reducing the "wordiness" in some of the descriptions of what you did. Try to keep your sentences brief, to the point, and direct. Don't try to pad the paragraph to make it sound intelligent. If you have correct spelling, tense and grammar, the reader will know you are intelligent.

For example...

"...also configured user computers and handhelds to enable proper functioning of devices."

becomes:

"...also configured workstations and handheld devices."


Just my two cents, but I think it would be a given that the reason you are configuring those things is to enable proper functioning.

Hope that helps.

That makes complete since. I can't believe I overlooked that. Thanks a lot. I've been looking at ways of trying to slim it down.

blayjin

Mishra wrote:

From an older copy of my resume: Here is the paragraph form I'm talking about.

System Administrator
Insight Communications, 2005 – 2007 Louisville, KY
Complete system administration tasks to over 400 systems. Provide high level support for all 400 systems. Directly responsible for approximately 32 applications and over 100 systems. Each system includes operating systems using Windows 2003/2000/NT/Debian/Red Hat/Suse/Solaris 9.

High level of experience using the operating systems listed which includes: monitoring, backups, patches, installations, documentation, and server management applications. Successfully implemented and currently managing an entire monitoring solution using Nagios. Develops strategies and policy/procedures to streamline IT operations.

Administration over DHCP and WINS applications for the entire company. File server duties such as, share/NTFS level permissions, file/folder manipulation, and NT group implementations.

Complete administration of a 3000-user Exchange 5.5 mail system including: Trend Micro, Symantec, and Canit antivirus and spam solutions. Administration includes user interaction at a high level of troubleshooting for real problems.

Robust server management over a large 3500 user NT Domain in addition to a small Windows 2000 Active Directory domain. Active in the beginning stages of a migration from NT Domain and Exchange 5.5 to Windows 2003 Active Directory and Exchange 2003. Daily management of Insight’s backup strategy using Netbackup 6.0.

Currently have storage management experience in the following systems: Net App SAN, Adaptec NAS Snap Servers, and Dell EMC Ax400 iSCSI. Assist in asset management dealing with any purchases of equipment to Insight’s datacenter.

Contributes to and supports additional project-related responsibilities as they arise. Assist with planning of new project requirements from a technical point of view. 24/7 on-call for any server level issues that may arise with systems I direct.

So just split up your current listing into mini paragraphs.

Thanks. I'm starting to like this format more and more as I keep adding to it. It just seems more professional. Now comes down to making it work.

kripsak

Might add classes taken under your Education part, looks pretty bare on that end

And try to keep your resume to 1 page if you can.