Resume critique.

ZoomerZoomer Member Posts: 126
Here's my resume. I've worked as a "System Administrator" for the past 2 years, but it really has been more of a help desk position. I know it's not perfect, but please let me know any suggestions. I'm not trying to look for another system admin position at a larger company, since the experience required is more than I have. I was looking for help desk positions or tech positions.

Here's the link: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dccdt8vp_4dxxwv9dm

Thanks!

Comments

  • KaminskyKaminsky Member Posts: 1,235
    I would leave off the temp job as a picker/sorter as it won't be relevent to IT support. Yes there is the argument that it shows your not afraid of hard work but personally, I would leave it off.

    The systems admin job is a huge list of job aspect snippets that could quite easily be implied generally with a couple of nice phrases instead of a big long list.

    ... server administration on the comany's Windows/ Netware domain comprising # windows servers, etc, etc. Carrying out company-wide server side admin support for faults regarding email, network file / print related problems. ....

    Something like that is general but implies a lot of the things you listed down in a long list that not many employers would bother to trawl through. Just a quick couple of general lines. If they want to know the in depth, they can ask at interview.


    PS: Under each job heading, 1 or 2 points briefly describing where you did well or excelled in that post. ... this shows you don't just sit there plodding along but like to achieve and improve the service.
    Kam.
  • LarryDaManLarryDaMan Member Posts: 797
    Honestly, it is not very pleasing to the eye with the dozens and dozens of bullets. You can search Microsoft for resume templates to use in Word and find some decent ones.

    Also, maybe it is too much info, things like "helped users with problems" are already implied.. try to tighen it up and ask yourself, would I want to read this entire resume?

    As someone else said, loose the picker/sorter job unless you can get more creative with your writing. If you can use words like logistics, quality and process improvement, business process, project execution...etc., then leave it in, you just have to punch it up and change the vocabulary because when I saw picker/sorter... I thought tomatoes.
  • networker050184networker050184 Mod Posts: 11,962 Mod
    I'd also add some sort of opening statement. Some like an objective, and some a summary statement.

    Like others have stated you have way too many bullets on the sys admin position. I try to keep it around five or so bullets, but don't add filler. If you only have three quality bullets then leave it at that.
    An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made.
  • LarryDaManLarryDaMan Member Posts: 797
    Also, the title "Printer Operator" should be changed.... get creative. "Imaging Technician", "Laser Printer Specialist", "Digitial Printer Engineer".....

    You don't want to lie, but break out your thesaurus! "Printer Operator" is way too bland and unimpressive.

    How about "Terrific Toner Technician Tackled Tremendously Tough Tasks Terrificly"....j/k but you get the point. icon_wink.gif
  • dynamikdynamik Banned Posts: 12,312 ■■■■■■■■■□
    Do you get bonus points for alliteration!? icon_eek.gif

    Seriously though, that was awesome.
  • oo_snoopyoo_snoopy Member Posts: 124
    Check out this link or just look around on the net for some good formatting examples you can use.

    http://www.resumeedge.com/whyus/samplework.php?nav=wu.sw
    I used to run the internet.
  • kripsakkripsak Member Posts: 38 ■■□□□□□□□□
    -Lose your picker job

    -Add a objective statement, a line that explains yourself then transition into where you want to be job wise, and any IT goals like certs or education that would help you get to your goal. This objective statement is like your pitch to the company on why you would be a valuable asset to the company. I know many people stay away from using an objective statement, but I feel it gives a glimpse of what kind of employee you can be.

    -Instead of having a bullet point for each line on the System Admin part, try to bunch things together: An OS bullet point part, where you bunch all the OS's you've worked on. A Networking bullet point for all your skills that you've learned or tasks you've done.

    -Maybe add some classes or skills you've learned in ITT to expand on what you've learned there.
  • syed20111syed20111 Registered Users Posts: 2 ■□□□□□□□□□
    Nice sample..you made me to re-write my resume..thanks dude.
Sign In or Register to comment.