You've Been All Over. . . And It's Been All Over You

Today I had to make a tough choice, but it was probably the right one. After going through some economic woes, as well as some tough times in my personal life, I found that I was falling behind in my classes and had to withdraw for the semester to get my head together. It's quite bittersweet because I both need the rest to keep looking for a job, and I wanted to at the very least knock out the calculus class I was taking in order to keep on track with my degree. (You know how these colleges get, if you don't take all the prerequisite classes in order, they get all bent out of shape and won't let you do the more advanced stuff. Damn procedure-nazis.

)

So, where does that leave me? Well, let me give you all a little overview of what the plan was, is, and will become as I take this moment to vent and blow off a little emotional steam.

The original plan was to complete a transfer-degree in computer science by the spring of 2010, with a very big chance to transfer to UC Berkeley that fall. In 2012, I was hoping to be finished with my bachelor's degree in EECS and looking to do some graduate-work. Now that plans have changed, I'll probably have to push that plan back by a year, which is quite frustrating. Because I need to take physics and advanced math classes, which all build on the first few calculus classes, I can't take the succession of classes I was hoping for, so I'm forced to wait a year, despite only having dropped classes this semester, to continue the "real" plan. Ain't life grand?

The flip-side of all this is that I get a little bit of a breather to sort out my (lack of) work situation and I get to lay catch-up on a few other things. I can spend a little time finishing some certs I've been working on, as well as brushing up on a few things I need for school. (Seems like a hundred years ago I took that C++ class, and twice as long since I did trigonometry, they could both use a refresher.) Considering the state of the economy, getting finanical aid for this kind of schooling isn't going to be easy, so the extra time probably isn't all that bad. Still, it's frustrating to have to wait, considering I've had to push these plans back over and over again for the last eight years, and I was hoping to finally get started now.

Aside from all that, there have been a few events in my life that have pushed off any cert-studying and all other self-improvement projects to the back-burner, aside from the essential work/school combo. They're getting sorted out, little by little, and I'm hoping to be in a better place this time next year than I am now. I suppose that's the nature of things, when it rains it pours. I'm gunning for a part-time IT job in the near-future, here, as I was planning to do anyway in order to facilitate my school-schedule. The extra time that I would normally be spending at a full-time job will be dedicated to studying, the after-hours towards hitting the gym and sorting out the whole "living my life" nonsense, and the weekends are going to be spent with my new girlfriend and doing things that generally help me keep my sanity in check.

That's the end of my rant (for now), I figured I'd share some thoughts with all of you here on TechExams, since I consider many of you friends. If I seem a little more cynical from time to time, or I seem to fall off the radar now and again, worry not, I'll still be around to make bad jokes and rant on and on about things that would take a normal person a sentence or two to say. :P

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the support you guys have always given me in both my professional and personal endeavors. Here's to many more great years chatting on TechExams when we're supposed to be working.

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Comments

shednik

Hang in there slowhand, some things take time to iron out. In the end though when they it all does it makes it feel just that much better that you made it through!

shednik

Also slowhand check your PMs

dynamik

Slowhand wrote:

You've Been All Over. . . And It's Been All Over You

I would definitely be uncomfortable watching that movie with any female acquaintance of mine.

Dude, I feel ya. The last 7-8 years have been a nightmarish whirlwind for me. I've really been taken advantage and betrayed by a lot of close (at the time) family members, my wife was bedridden for four months shortly after we were married, college has been a mess because I was forced into it before I was ready, and the list goes on. I could easily write something of equal length, but you get the idea. If I could take one thing away from all of this, it would be to do what you want on your terms. Don't do things like impose unnecessary deadlines. So you have to wait a year, big deal. I had two years of college done when I graduated high school, and I still haven't finished the other half in eight years. A lot's happened, so I'm getting away from beating myself up over it (though it still really disappoints me from time-to-time). Aren't you going to live to be 80, 90, or beyond? (My liver will probably give out in my 40s, but I could probably hit that if I made some sacrifices) Is one year really that much in the grand scheme of things? It's not like you have nothing else to work on anyway, so go do that and don't worry about what things could have been like if everything had worked out perfectly. The only way you'll end up wasting this next year is by making yourself miserable with guilt.

Slowhand

The words are very much appreciated, from both of you. I hear where you're coming from, dynamik. Something about life throwing everything it's got at you, all at once, really seems to be a recurring theme.

As for wasting the next year, I'm hoping my time of doing that is behind me. With a lot of studying, a little bit of luck, and a few personal projects finished up, I'm hoping to go walking onto campus next year, full-time, with my MCSE finished, the Vista and Exchange MCTS certs under my belt, and be well on my way to finishing up the CCNP.

Heh, and about the title of this thread. . . I suppose being inspired by "Beautiful Day" is better than trying to stop listening to "Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of". That seems to be the place I've since the day I went in and took my GED back in 2000, dropped high school on its ass, and tried to get a jump-start on college.

blargoe

I can certainly identify. You have your head screwed on right from what I can tell so you'll do fine. I wish you didn't have to wait a whole year to get that sequence of courses again, but I guess you can't win them all.

learningtofly22

I wouldn't sweat it... here's a quote and an example for a bit of perspective:

“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.”
-- Amos Bronson Alcott

"He failed in business in '31. He was defeated for state legislator in '32.He tried another business in '33. It failed. His fiancee died in '35. He had a nervous breakdown in '36. In '43 he ran for congress and was defeated. He tried again in '48 and was defeated again. He tried running for the Senate in '55. He lost.The next year he ran for Vice President and lost. In '59 he ran for the Senate again and was defeated. In 1860, the man who signed his name A. Lincoln, was elected the 16th President of the United States. The difference between history's boldest accomplishments and its most staggering failures is often, simply, the diligent will to persevere."

Kaminsky

Don't beat yourself up. You'll get exactly where your supposed to be eventually. DO NOT do what people expect or want you to do. Do what you are happy doing and enjoy. If it takes a year longer to get the degree then no worries. You will probably find you are not so preassured and the rest of the degree could be a lot more relaxed and more rewarding. If you keep working on the calculus, by the time the course comes around again, you will fly thoguh it.

I did two years of my degree at age 27 and freaked at how much I owed after two years and tie that in with the rediclous maths they were asking me to do at the time (prove 1+1 = 2 ... I mean seriously) I bailed and still have a succesful career earning the same as I would be if I had done the final year. The degree would probably have made it quicker but that's all.

I sometimes think it would have been nice to have done that extra year but I don't regret the decision I took. It actually timed quite nicely and I got on the first rung of the ladder in a helpdesk job 5 minutes from my house where I stayed for many years until leaving after several years of being the Novel/MS server admin.

Things just have a eway of working out. Planning is all well and good but it is not set in stone.

Slowhand

Thanks for the supportive comments, all positive vibes are welcome. I think the biggest reason I feel like this was a real blow to my ego/mental health was that this was a goal I'd been working towards for a long time, to start school. I'd set this goal for myself, and I wanted to really see it through from this point. Life goes on, of course, and there's always time, but it's still a bit of a sting that a personal goal I'd worked so hard to prepare for has to slip further down the timeline.

I've been hitting the job-market pretty hard, looking for part-time and short-term contract gigs to hold me over until I get things together. So far, so good. Of course, I'm still sinking into a financial hole, but that's how it goes when you're out of work. Gotta love that economy.

Again, thanks for all the support and constructive comments I've received. Here's to hoping that this time next year, I'll be reporting happier news.

Slowhand

A little bit of an update, for all you Slowhand fans out there.

When I was originally laid off, I was rejected by the EDD to receive unemployment money because the company I'd worked for had gone behind my back and listed my termination as "due to poor work performance", (as opposed to what they told me, which was that they were out of money to pay me).

Last week, I was finally accepted to get moolah from the gub'ment, so I'm finally going to be receiving unemployment until I find another job. The real irony here is that the EDD is going by how much money I made last year, and up through the middle of this year, which was well over the maximum benefit-amount they list in their paperwork due to the fact that I was working as a full-time systems administrator. So, I'll be getting almost as much from the EDD each month as I was getting for my part-time work.

This is a little bit of a relief for me. While I don't enjoy living off of other tax-payers' money, I do need the financial relief while I wait to hear back from prospective employers. I haven't had the chance to really study or get anything done while I've been tearing my hair out and borrowing money from friends. With this, I can finally breathe a temporary sigh or relief and work on getting a job I actually want, as opposed to taking whatever comes along. In all honesty, what I'm really hoping for is that my former colleague, who now runs the IT department for a video game company in my area, can push his bosses to hire me on part-time at their office to help out with infrastructure support for both their internal domain and their game-servers.

So, while I'm not out of the frying-pan just yet, this is a start in the right direction. I'll be starting fresh (finally) on Monday with some studying, job-searching, and a little extra-curricular reading.

dynamik

Slowhand =

I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you!

I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before you land a great gig.

(And you will be able to offer me a position as your loyal subordinate

)

Slowhand

Thanks, it's nice to finally breathe a little bit and be able to focus on something other than money-problems. I'm going to be spending this time constructively by polishing off the MCSE exams I've been prepping for the last year or so, brushing up on some rusty math-skills, and finally getting started on the CCNP. Basically: 70-293 and 70-298 review, lots o' trig, and the beginnings of BSCI.

dynamik wrote:

(And you will be able to offer me a position as your loyal subordinate )

Oh, hell no! At the rate you go, I'd be calling you "sir" within a week of hiring you.

Slowhand

So I've started ranting and raving someplace other than TechExams, much to the relief of some of you.

(See my new soapbox on my "WWW" button, down at the bottom of my posts.) While this is a fun thing to do, I can't help but feel very, very dirty. . . as I was one of the first people to mock bloggers when it first became a big thing to do. Well, there's only one thing to say at a time like this: