Please help a newbie with resume

loss4words

Hi guys,

So I've been looking for work since the end of May, sending out resumes to almost any job that I think I'm capable of doing but I only received a few calls from recruiters and that's it. I'm getting really depressed and I think my problem is a bad resume/e-mail message. Could anyone please help?

Here's my Resume:

First and Last Name:
Home Address
Home Phone Number
Mobile phone Number
E-Mail Address


Summary: An information technology professional that is highly motivated. Experienced in hardware/software diagnosis, customer support and troubleshooting of information systems. Demonstrated aptitude for developing and learning new skills, self-disciplined and efficient.

Education: Name of School
Associate Degree in Computer Networking
Graduation Date: 09/08
Overall GPA: 3.49

Certifications: COMPTIA A+
COMPTIA Security +
MCP (70-290) – Managing and Maintaining a Microsoft Windows Server 2003 Environment
MCTS (70-640) – Windows Server 2008 Active Directory, Configuring

Skills: - Setup, repair, assembly and troubleshooting of computers and printers.
- Competent in various operating systems such as Windows XP,
Windows Vista, Mac OS X Leopard, and Windows Server 2003.
- Experienced in Microsoft Word, Excel, Access, Outlook & PowerPoint .
- Experienced in setting up, configuring and troubleshooting Blackberry problems
- Strong knowledge of Active Directory, DNS, DHCP, Remote Desktop, TCP/IP.
- Knowledge of digital network technologies (including, routers, switches, etc.) and associated protocols (including DHCP, TCP, IP, etc.).

Experience: Job Place 1 Work Location
IT Systems Analyst 09/08 - Present
• Providing Level 2 on-site technical support for professors and faculty members.
• Assisting managers and administrators in deployment of Active Directory.
• Diagnosing hardware and software issues and providing system maintenance on Apple workstations.
• Using Remedy ticketing system to document technical issues.
• Creating and publishing Knowledge Base articles for future references
• Using Norton Ghost and Smart Deploy software to image computers to increase work productivity.

Job Place 2 New York, New York
Help Desk Support Technician 04/07 – 09/08
• Provided technical support over the phone and on-site for multiple clients.
• Assisted teachers and students with hardware and software problems.
• Assisted IT staff in configuring client workstations and connecting to network servers.
• Tutored students in Windows, Office, and general productivity software.

Job Place 3 New York, New York
IT Internship 04/08 – 07/08
• Provided Help Desk services and desktop support to over 250 on-site users.
• Loaded images via network through Norton Ghost and finalized installations.
• Configured and installed new PC workstations.
• Installed software and performed hardware installations.

And here's what in the body of the e-mail message:

Title: Resume for *job title* position:

Body:

To whom it may concern,

My name is Joe and I am very interested in *job title*
position you have posted on Dice.com web site. I am currently
working for Job Place 1 providing Level 2 Desktop Support for
professors and staff members where I troubleshoot and repair desktop
applications, computer, printer and Blackberry related issues. I am
certified and have some experience in managing and maintaining
Microsoft Windows Server 2003 and Windows Server 2008 network
environment. I have a love for technology and a real skill when it
comes to problem solving. I also have the need to feel challenged and
to contribute to any team I'm a part of.

More details of my employment history and education can be found in
the resume attached. Please feel free to contact me if you have any
questions either via email or cell phone anytime.


Thank you for your time,

Joe Schmoe

Address:
Home phone number:
Mobile phone number:
E-mail:

I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks!

undomiel

Ditch the "to whom ..." line. Replace it with the actual name of a person, or don't put anything at all. Rework your cover letter to put in some of your wow moments where you saved someone's bacon or went above and beyond. Those will catch the eye rather than a rehash of your duties.

loss4words

Hi undomiel,

Could you please give an example of a "wow" moment I could write in the cover letter? I'm having a hard time coming up with anything....

Thanks.

Ashenwelt

Ok, I figured I would hit a few issues.

Some lines I don’t like:

- Knowledge of digital network technologies (including, routers, switches, etc.) and associated protocols (including DHCP, TCP, IP, etc.).

Ok, that looks at first glance as something fine. But, and I am being harsh here: if I read it, I would stop at this line and probably circular file it. Being I do sometimes vet resumes… this is a bad thing. You need to **** the word digital from there. Normally, I would prefer to see something like: Knowledge of network infrastructure and topologies, including the following protocols: DHCP, TCP, IP, (and list a few more, stop at six, or eight or ten, not just three, name some a HR person won’t know). Here are some protocols I like to see (only use em if you know em): BGP, DHCP, FTP / SFTP, IPSec, MPLS, PPTP, RIP 1 / 2, SMB, SSH, Telnet, WebDAV. And I actually like seeing things like: IEEE 802.1, IEEE 802.2, IEEE 802.3, IEEE 802.11. Granted I over emphasize, but at the same time… you are doing the opposite.

• Assisted IT staff in configuring client workstations and connecting to network servers.
• Assisting managers and administrators in deployment of Active Directory.

Ok, these types of lines drive me batty. I would want to know more that Assisted or Assisting. What did you assist in? Have you done a group policy? Did you install the apps? Right here, depending on what you did, you could actually catch an HR or a supervisor. These are supposed to be the lines that say: hey I have done this before.

• Creating and publishing Knowledge Base articles for future references

Ok, this one just gets me. I would normally prefer something that says like: Updated company knowledge base by writing and publishing new articles in order to simplify future support. That was a kludge, but you get the idea.

Now we come to formatting. Make it unifrm. If you are using bullets, always use bullets.

Don’t take this the wrong way, I am trying to be helpful here. Additionally, the job market is rough right now. So do not get discouraged easily.

And good luck!

Daniel333

First a general comment, always make sure you cater your resume for the job you are applying for. If they don't have MacOS. Don't write it. If the job posting reads they support 100 seats and your resume says you supported 100 users. Change your verbiage to match theirs.

Drop the GPA from there. People are often proud of the GPA but HR doesn't care. They just want to know you have the degree. It might be helpful if they want you to work in acadamia but the industry doesn't care.

I would place work experience before education and certification since that matters most. Gotta wow them in the first couple of lines. Again match your previous experience, to the job postings.

I noticed you don't have a professional organization membership or any volunteer work. Look for a local computer user's group and join up. Head down to your church, senior center or library and see if you can get some technology volunteering going. This will also help build connections and strenthen your softskills.

Lastly, your certs are kinda random there. A+, Sec+, MCP in Windows 2003 and TS in 2008AD? It kinda demonstates that you can't stick with something. A knowledgeable HR/Hiring manager might ask about this. Be ready to answer, "Why haven’t you finished your MCSE or MCITP:SA/EA?" I would get on that as soon as you can and finish the set.

loss4words

Hi Ash,

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

Ok, that looks at first glance as something fine. But, and I am being harsh here: if I read it, I would stop at this line and probably circular file it. Being I do sometimes vet resumes… this is a bad thing. You need to **** the word digital from there. Normally, I would prefer to see something like: Knowledge of network infrastructure and topologies, including the following protocols: DHCP, TCP, IP, (and list a few more, stop at six, or eight or ten, not just three, name some a HR person won’t know). Here are some protocols I like to see (only use em if you know em): BGP, DHCP, FTP / SFTP, IPSec, MPLS, PPTP, RIP 1 / 2, SMB, SSH, Telnet, WebDAV. And I actually like seeing things like: IEEE 802.1, IEEE 802.2, IEEE 802.3, IEEE 802.11. Granted I over emphasize, but at the same time… you are doing the opposite.

Although I know what most protocols you listed are and what they are used for, if I was asked on a technical interview to describe how SSH (for example) works I wouldn't be able to tell them much except to try to and explain how I used it for secure connection. I just listed the ones I feel more comfortable if I was asked a similar question. One advice I received from my college professor few years ago is that never to put something on the resume if you're not 100% sure what you're talking about.

Ok, these types of lines drive me batty. I would want to know more that Assisted or Assisting. What did you assist in? Have you done a group policy? Did you install the apps? Right here, depending on what you did, you could actually catch an HR or a supervisor. These are supposed to be the lines that say: hey I have done this before.

Well, at my current job there was no existing AD infrastructure when I started. They required Active Directory for one particular application which sits on their SQL server that limited number of people use. I was tasked with simply creating about 50 user and computer accounts, put them in the appropriate OUs and groups, create some very simple group policies such as password policies, and join those computers to domain and make sure that the application works how it should. How could I put in on a resume without having to write this whole paragraph?

Again, thank you so much for your advice. I'm definitely changing some things around now and I'll let you know how it goes.

Ashenwelt

loss4words wrote: »

Hi Ash,

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

Your welcome. Hope it help!

loss4words wrote: »

Although I know what most protocols you listed are and what they are used for, if I was asked on a technical interview to describe how SSH (for example) works I wouldn't be able to tell them much except to try to and explain how I used it for secure connection. I just listed the ones I feel more comfortable if I was asked a similar question. One advice I received from my college professor few years ago is that never to put something on the resume if you're not 100% sure what you're talking about.

As odd as it sounds... I would suggest picking one more protocol, and just study it. It would help IMHO.

loss4words wrote: »

Well, at my current job there was no existing AD infrastructure when I started. They required Active Directory for one particular application which sits on their SQL server that limited number of people use. I was tasked with simply creating about 50 user and computer accounts, put them in the appropriate OUs and groups, create some very simple group policies such as password policies, and join those computers to domain and make sure that the application works how it should. How could I put in on a resume without having to write this whole paragraph?

Ok. Lets see, "Managed during inplementation, Active Directory user and computer accounts in logical organizational units" or something like it.

loss4words wrote: »

Again, thank you so much for your advice. I'm definitely changing some things around now and I'll let you know how it goes.

Once again, good luck!

mikedisd2

loss4words wrote: »

Well, at my current job there was no existing AD infrastructure when I started. They required Active Directory for one particular application which sits on their SQL server that limited number of people use. I was tasked with simply creating about 50 user and computer accounts, put them in the appropriate OUs and groups, create some very simple group policies such as password policies, and join those computers to domain and make sure that the application works how it should. How could I put in on a resume without having to write this whole paragraph?

Creation of Active Directory 2003 user objects and application of group policies.

A recruiter recently told me that he just wants to see what I've done in the past, because that means I can do it again for a prospective employer.

In your second job, you wrote that you worked there for 1.5 years but only noted down 4x lines of duties. I'm sure you did a lot more than that. Mention all technologies you were involved with, ie Networking protocols, DNS, Office Suite, Blackberry. It's all in your skillset but not in your job history.
Include OSs you have worked with(Vista, Server 03).

Also the time ranges of jobs 2 and 3 conflict. Is that correct?