Frustrated.

Iristheangel

Edited to removed post. Resolved things at work and don't really want to keep this whole story up (just in case)

Bl8ckr0uter

I don't even know where to start for real. It seems like bullshit all around. I'd say if there is anything in your are it might be time to start thinking about moving to a new gig. No job is worth feeling like that.

earweed

The guy sounds like a stupid jerk. IMO he should never have brought up the personal issues. If I were you I'd be looking elsewhere for another job now as he is probably not leaving anytime soon and it would probably be in your best interest not to be around him.
He thinks you brag too much about doing a good job??? He should be bragging on you as all your work makes the managers look better.

BradleyHU

you need to look for something else, and give the place you are @ now the middle finger salute...

do like Scarface in Half Baked...

YouTube - Half Baked - Scarface quits his job

phantasm

You're a much better person than I am... that much is certain. I wouldn't have been so graceful in my dealings. Everyone knows me at work as the guy who knows his job and does it very well. However I have a certain outlook on things and when you act stupid, you get stupid back.

God love you for having more patience than I do.

Iristheangel

Well, I put out my resume and got two job interviews last week. Part of me doesn't want to leave because at this salary rate, I'll have my car paid off and enough savings to move into my own place by December. I'm trying to just keep my head down and last until the end of the year so I don't have this job making my resume look bad.

Oh, and this guy LOVES to brag about his MBA that he got from University of Phoenix.

Iristheangel

phantasm wrote: »

You're a much better person than I am... that much is certain. I wouldn't have been so graceful in my dealings. Everyone knows me at work as the guy who knows his job and does it very well. However I have a certain outlook on things and when you act stupid, you get stupid back.

God love you for having more patience than I do.

Believe me... I was in tears last tuesday. It was either cry or go off in that meeting. Fact is that I need the money for a while longer. After this year, I can totally spend some time finding something better and god willing I'll have an MCSE and CCNA under my belt.

Zartanasaurus

Odd. If I were going to act discriminatory towards someone's sexual lifestyle, Cali would be the last state I'd risk that in. I'm assuming they'd have the best laws on the books to prevent that kind of thing. Honestly, I'd probably consult with a lawyer here. Not in preparation to sue, but just to find out if and how you should be documenting this treatment in case he tries to fire you b/c he doesn't like you.

Bl8ckr0uter

Iristheangel wrote: »

Believe me... I was in tears last tuesday. It was either cry or go off in that meeting. Fact is that I need the money for a while longer. After this year, I can totally spend some time finding something better and god willing I'll have an MCSE and CCNA under my belt.

Step 1: Get a new job
Step 2: Tell this guy to eat a dick
Step 3 (optional): YouTube - Stomp Em In The Nuts

jamesleecoleman

I just want to say that it sounds like you're an awsome person. Keep your head up and stay strong. Maybe this 'individual' will be relocated somewhere else. I know its hard to stay at a job where the boss is a jerk. I've been there, done that and wanted to give up soo many times. You'll be a stronger person in the end.

colemic

jamesleecoleman wrote: »

I just want to say that it sounds like you're an awsome person. Keep your head up and stay strong. Maybe this 'individual' will be relocated somewhere else. I know its hard to stay at a job where the boss is a jerk. I've been there, done that and wanted to give up soo many times. You'll be a stronger person in the end.

Agree that you seem like an awesome person!

And... I hope you take heart in the fact that you now how the power to make him squirm in front of HR, and probably all of them as well, if you do not leave on your own terms.

erpadmin

Iristheangel wrote: »

(i.e. that I wanted to move out of the service desk and onto networking like it was an insult to what he did for a living, that I was open about being in a relationship with a woman while he felt like he needed to be in the closet at work, etc etc etc)

So, just so that I'm clear, are you saying he is also a homosexual, but wants to keep his situation closeted and expects you to do the same? Or he's a straight guy that wants you to stay in closet?

If he's a homosexual, you're going to have a rough time saying he's being discriminatory, because closeted or not, he will definitely out himself in front of judge and jury like his job depended on it (because...it would).

If the guy is straight, then you should definitely make a case to HR. You probably think that your temp job is in jeopardy, but consulting an employment attorney may be what you need.

Of course, there are consequences. Future employers don't need to dig that deep to see if you're the suing type. But honestly, if you are suffering that much abuse from this guy, you have to act in your own interests.

Consult an employment attorney in your area...see what he/she says.

rogue2shadow

I'm sorry to hear this happening to you. Everyone will get what's coming to them in the end via karma. It'll definitely be a trek but once you hit December, think of it this way; all bets are off. Keep following procedure like you have been to a T and as, I'm assuming, there is no probationary period in effect, they "should" have no real grounds to pull a cheap shot at your job and if they do pull the plug (as long as there are no weird clauses in the initial hire agreement), money will be heading your way faster than you know it but as erpadmin says there may be consequences. Being a huge advocate of everything criminal justice wise, I would also advise the pursuit of a lawyer as Zartanasaurus stated; the documentation could help you if stuff hits the fan (arbitration for the win).

You are talented and will go far in this business. As james said, keep your head up high and do not let them hold you down from your greater purpose. You'll be soaring faster than you know it.

Iristheangel

erpadmin wrote: »

So, just so that I'm clear, are you saying he is also a homosexual, but wants to keep his situation closeted and expects you to do the same? Or he's a straight guy that wants you to stay in closet?

If he's a homosexual, you're going to have a rough time saying he's being discriminatory, because closeted or not, he will definitely out himself in front of judge and jury like his job depended on it (because...it would).

If the guy is straight, then you should definitely make a case to HR. You probably think that your temp job is in jeopardy, but consulting an employment attorney may be what you need.

Of course, there are consequences. Future employers don't need to dig that deep to see if you're the suing type. But honestly, if you are suffering that much abuse from this guy, you have to act in your own interests.

Consult an employment attorney in your area...see what he/she says.

He *IS* in fact ****, but he doesn't out himself in the work place. I don't really feel like suing and I don't really know the recourse I would have anyways being a temp worker through an agency, but if I was fired, I might take that extra step. I'm not a big fan of making waves, but I need this job until the end of the year. It's really a great job. It's easy, I can get my studying done in between requests, it's big enough to move into networking, the pay is great, i love the people, and if I get hired on permanently, I have full tuition reimbursement, but the boss is killing it for me. He'll block me from moving up or being hired permanently I think

N2IT

Iristheangel wrote: »

Well, I put out my resume and got two job interviews last week. Part of me doesn't want to leave because at this salary rate, I'll have my car paid off and enough savings to move into my own place by December. I'm trying to just keep my head down and last until the end of the year so I don't have this job making my resume look bad.

Oh, and this guy LOVES to brag about his MBA that he got from University of Phoenix.

Vent away....

Continue to look for a new gig, life is way to freaking short to deal with trash like that. I worked a gig for 2 years and I loved it, I then swiched to another gig which paid a lot more money. Eventually I ended up going back to my old job with a promotion luckily and making less.

I miss the money, but my life is much better off now.

Config

To me it sounds like you like the job, don't listen to these guys who tell you to tell the manager to "eat a dick" word goes around quickly enough so you don't need your reputation tarnished, just keep plugging away, doing the excellent work that you’re doing until your financially secure enough and then find another job, good luck.

mikej412

In a perfect world upper management would have a clue and replace that guy -- hopefully with your team lead (since they seem like they are squared away).

Hang in there (if you don't find something better).

never2late

Leave as soon as you can.

You have an extremely dedicated work ethic which seems to be more a rarity in today's workforce. There are so many company's seeking good employees and with your experience and common sense you will find another job. Just find another job before you leave.

Get a letter of recommendation from your immediate supervisor, sounds as though he does realize what kind of employee you are and those letters do go a long way in helping you find other employment.

Good luck

Mojo_666

Some people are arsholes and there aint much you can do about it so just get as much experience as you can while looking for another job.

Good Luck

neocybe

document everything and hit the road, I wouldn't even wait. Worst case you will get a 3-4 week penalty on unemployment. If you have only been with them for 3-4 months I'd even suggest not putting them on your resume, but if this is your first gig you might need to b.s. a little.

I smell a lawsuit -

nel

screw that place and leave, i wouldnt get out of bed for that. you dont deserve that!

JoJoCal19

Iris I feel your pain and definitely know how you feel, but hang in there! I'm in a somewhat similar situation in that my immediate managers manager is the biggest prick and I swear he gets off on making people feel miserable. Thankfully he is intimidated by me because I have stood up to him in the past, and never does/says anything directly to me, but other team members and the team as a whole gets treated badly by him. He has so much as told another one of my teammates that he wants so badly to fire him and wants him gone.

The situation is pretty dire here and teammates are jumping ship one after the other. I just come in and work hard and sort of block out most of it because I get paid good money for the work, the work itself is very easy and the environment as a whole is laid back (I listen to music through headphones all day and take breaks whenever), and Im taking advantage of 100% tuition reimbursement and free IT certification training/practice tests.

So for now I think you should just know that you are doing an EXCELLENT job, come in and do the work and try to ignore as much as you can, and just keep studying and building your resume to ultimately land a much better job.

Also for what its worth, maybe try to go up to that manager and just talk to him. Just tell him you really do like him and want to get along. Try to smooth things over. Try to indirectly kiss A if you know what I mean. I think thats one reason the manager here also respects me more than others. I give him a little ego feeding once in a while and make small talk to chill things. If you come off as resentful and easily intimidated then they will keep treating you like crap.

I've learned over the years that whether managers like you or not is a lot of the time based more on intrapersonal skills than just work performance. Those that make an immediate effort to establish a relationship and rapport with their managers (not overtly brown-nosing) seem to get better treatment from management in the long run.

Iristheangel

JoJoCal19 wrote: »

Iris I feel your pain and definitely know how you feel, but hang in there! I'm in a somewhat similar situation in that my immediate managers manager is the biggest prick and I swear he gets off on making people feel miserable. Thankfully he is intimidated by me because I have stood up to him in the past, and never does/says anything directly to me, but other team members and the team as a whole gets treated badly by him. He has so much as told another one of my teammates that he wants so badly to fire him and wants him gone.

The situation is pretty dire here and teammates are jumping ship one after the other. I just come in and work hard and sort of block out most of it because I get paid good money for the work, the work itself is very easy and the environment as a whole is laid back (I listen to music through headphones all day and take breaks whenever), and Im taking advantage of 100% tuition reimbursement and free IT certification training/practice tests.

So for now I think you should just know that you are doing an EXCELLENT job, come in and do the work and try to ignore as much as you can, and just keep studying and building your resume to ultimately land a much better job.

Also for what its worth, maybe try to go up to that manager and just talk to him. Just tell him you really do like him and want to get along. Try to smooth things over. Try to indirectly kiss A if you know what I mean. I think thats one reason the manager here also respects me more than others. I give him a little ego feeding once in a while and make small talk to chill things. If you come off as resentful and easily intimidated then they will keep treating you like crap.

I've learned over the years that whether managers like you or not is a lot of the time based more on intrapersonal skills than just work performance. Those that make an immediate effort to establish a relationship and rapport with their managers (not overtly brown-nosing) seem to get better treatment from management in the long run.

You know... for the last 4 months, I have tried to do this and it does not work with him. He's got something personally against me and nothing I've tried will get him to lay off it. At this point, I'm trying to go in, do my job, and leave every day with minimal BS or socializing but that still isn't really working either.

This boss DOES sound a lot like your boss. He'll come in after firing someone and joke about what they said or did while he was busy firing them, he talks a lot of crap about his employees, he does seem to enjoy pulling rank and making people squirm. My lead IS a very cool guy but technically speaking he's a temp right now as well. There's only so much putting his neck out there he can do to help me out without risking his own job and I wouldn't want that personally. I honestly think the next 5 months are going to be REALLY hard and stressful, not for the job aspect of it but because it'll be something new every day with the manager. Hopefully I survive with my job until the end.

earweed

I don't think you really risk losing your job since you seem to do it really well.
This wouldn't happen to be the same manager who hired his "friend" in your earlier post? http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/55530-how-does-happen-venting-sorry.html
If it is it may be a little residual resentment from that episode.

loxleynew

I would say continue doing a good job and try to get along with him. Maybe try to kiss his A like the other guy said. Not too much just go out of your way once in a while to small talk with him. Unfortunately sometimes it just happens that way and nothing you do short of tattle tailing on him to the main boss will do anything. Even that may come off most times as bad and look even worse.

snokerpoker

I am sorry you are so frustrated with your situation. It is easy for many people to simply say "get a new job and move on" but the reality of it is, it can be very difficult (especially right now) to just jump ship and find another job. You may find that this is an option and it is certainly worth exploring, but I don't know what the job market is like in your area, therefore I can't tell you to just quit this job and find another one. I have been in this type of situation (maybe not this extreme) but this is what I can suggest. Ask your manager to have a meeting/conference/whatever you want to call it.... basically a one on one or a meeting with your manager and his manager. During this meeting you can voice your concerns and tell them how you feel you are being treated. The main idea behind this should be to confront them, without being too direct or too confrontational. It may be that your manager has no clue how you actually feel or even how he is acting. I've found that the best thing to do in situations like these, is to talk it out. Sometimes this doesn't work and it may turn out that your manager will continue to be a jerk face, but on the other hand it might make him realize how is acting and he might change. Either way, if it doesn't work at least you can feel good about actually trying to remedy the problem. By just clocking in, putting in your eight hours (or more!) then leaving and trying to avoid communication with your co-workers you are not helping the situation. I hope my advice helps. Good luck and hang in there!

vCole

Zartanasaurus wrote: »

Odd. If I were going to act discriminatory towards someone's sexual lifestyle, Cali would be the last state I'd risk that in. I'm assuming they'd have the best laws on the books to prevent that kind of thing. Honestly, I'd probably consult with a lawyer here. Not in preparation to sue, but just to find out if and how you should be documenting this treatment in case he tries to fire you b/c he doesn't like you.

Actually - New England is far more liberal when it comes to that.

I live in Rhode Island - and have had certain people make comments about my lifestyle. HR quickly took care of the situation. Legally, even though you're a temp. employee - he cannot say those things to you. Check out the laws in your state.

Feel free to IM me for more information Iristheangel.

snokerpoker

n2wishin wrote: »

I'd like to make a comment: I agree with snokerpoker. that is all.





on a serious note: my gf went through a similar situation in audiology school. she left the dept. w/o confronting her supervisors in the end. however, I believe (and she denies this) she didn't get the closure she needed. And when she talked about those experiences, she would tear up because she was reminded of how upsetting it was, how isolating it was, and was told things that humiliated her.

i don't know what your plan of action is, and i dont know what you should do. but read everyones advice and hopefully you'll find something that you think may work out. but best of luck till december or so.

Thanks for agreeing with me. Just was trying to offer my two cents.

rapyoke

Smother them with kindness. Just don't react if they criticize you or complain about your work performance. I would also consult an attorney, nobody should be treated like that because of factors you have no control over.

Keep your chin up, there is a better job out there.

Iristheangel

snokerpoker wrote: »

I am sorry you are so frustrated with your situation. It is easy for many people to simply say "get a new job and move on" but the reality of it is, it can be very difficult (especially right now) to just jump ship and find another job. You may find that this is an option and it is certainly worth exploring, but I don't know what the job market is like in your area, therefore I can't tell you to just quit this job and find another one. I have been in this type of situation (maybe not this extreme) but this is what I can suggest. Ask your manager to have a meeting/conference/whatever you want to call it.... basically a one on one or a meeting with your manager and his manager. During this meeting you can voice your concerns and tell them how you feel you are being treated. The main idea behind this should be to confront them, without being too direct or too confrontational. It may be that your manager has no clue how you actually feel or even how he is acting. I've found that the best thing to do in situations like these, is to talk it out. Sometimes this doesn't work and it may turn out that your manager will continue to be a jerk face, but on the other hand it might make him realize how is acting and he might change. Either way, if it doesn't work at least you can feel good about actually trying to remedy the problem. By just clocking in, putting in your eight hours (or more!) then leaving and trying to avoid communication with your co-workers you are not helping the situation. I hope my advice helps. Good luck and hang in there!

Tried this as well before. Doesn't work very well. I do socialize with my co-workers and I rock at my job, but I feel like I'm always going to be blocked for advancement with this guy. I'm at the point where I'm going to avoid the games, work my butt off, and survive until the end of the year. By December, I'll have all my debts paid off and an awesome savings so I can afford to slow it down and look elsewhere

blargoe

You are going about this right. Take the high road. I might not would have worked the extra unpaid time on the ticket queue, but you are doing your job and doing it well; you take pride in your work.

Everyone else is absolutely correct. You have to begin documenting these things, immediately. Even if he is also ****, he is a representative of the company and if he is openly discriminating against you - even being so bold as doing it in front of witnesses - him being **** doesn't make it legal. Now, if the company (or the company's contract with your temp agency) has any written or implied policy regarding romantic relations with employees in general, then you may not have as much leverage.

If it were me... I would just stick to documentation and not necessarily pursue litigation unless you are terminated unjustly or something like that. Someone mentioned that HR officials do not look favorably upon a job candidate if they appear to be one who will be quick to bring a lawsuit.