Simply Bull****

What is it about people that feel its necessary to bull**** everyone around them. I'm sure everyone here knows someone like this. They made a song awhile back called "Mr.Me too" by Clipse that pretty much defined this person. Any conversation with this person only ends in two ways. You are so tickled by there blatant crap you cant take it anymore and you walk away or you get so frustrated cause its just so annoying to listen to.

This person to me, unfortunately, is my brother. I love my brother, but he is one of those people that every time you talk to them...you are reminded of why you don't talk to them as much. I get the fact that since he is my younger brother (by 1 year mind you) he looks up to me. Its flattering, or at least it would be if he just asked me questions about stuff instead of trying to impress me with these blatant lies.

For instance, I picked him up to help me off load some hardware i just brought back with me from CT. Me being a computer tech, naturally he chooses this subject to try and one up me. He goes on to tell me that in his leisure, he hacks into government websites. He cant believe how easy it is. He uses a program(No name) on his MAC. AND...he uses the terminal with this program. So I sit there and i listen. After about 5 minutes or so, I cant take it anymore so I decide to question him. I ask one question... "What is the DMZ?"...silence...STUMPED!!! He had no clue. So he evades and tries to dodge the answer for about 10 minutes before I have to explain it to him. Then, after my Darril Gibson explanation(Little did he know I had JUST passed my security+ lol) he says"Oh, well, yea i knew that...But its different on a MAC"... That was enough for me.

I just had to vent that to some of my "IT family" as my wife tends to call this community

If anyone knows this type person, re-post with your stories. I'm sure we can all use a good laugh.

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Comments

mikedisd2

Hmm, sounds like you're not using enough mockery and humiliation on your brother. Boasting about hacking the govt. is really begging for it. Does he also fight Chuck Norris for the last seat on the bus?

ibcritn

Pssh Mac's don't need DMZ's they have their own built in DMZ which is then encapsulated into another DMZ.

powerfool

Sounds like my sister-in-law. While she would never claim to know about IT related stuff, her brother-in-law (so, two marriages removed from me) is a DBA.... she always has to bring up where he is working and how much money he is making. I don't get it. However, with everything else, she is definitely that same "me too" person.

Hypntick

Eh not really in the same boat, but kinda close. My cousin's wife apparently picked up her A+ a few years back due to an interest in computers. Well my cousin calls me out of the blue one day and asks if I know of any good jobs in the area, they live about an hour away and are thinking of relocating. Well I ask her qualifications and work history to see if I knew of anything or where to direct her. Yeah......A+, no other work history in IT or repair, alright, no big deal, entry level it is. So I start telling him where to look and he asks what kind of pay to expect.

I let him know that with her skill set and lack of work history she's looking at the most 12-13 an hour in this area and that she would be lucky to even get that really. He said that just won't do, she's looking at make at least 20 an hour or more or won't work otherwise. I laughed, told him to tell her good luck and changed the conversation. I've got a few years experience and more certs and I don't even think I could pull 20 an hour around here.

TheSuperRuski

mikedisd2 wrote: »

Hmm, sounds like you're not using enough mockery and humiliation on your brother. Boasting about hacking the govt. is really begging for it. Does he also fight Chuck Norris for the last seat on the bus?

Luckily for him, it was a conversation between the two of us. I tried to help him keep his dignity, but he keep going on even after I just came out and said "dude, you don't know what the hell your talking about. Let it go man"

ibcritn wrote: »

Pssh Mac's don't need DMZ's they have their own built in DMZ which is then encapsulated into another DMZ.

Sadly enough, If i said that with a straight face, He would probably believe it lol

the_Grinch

My buddy doesn't try to one up, but he will say things that are no off base that I just have to stare at him or my phone. He asked about Security+, if I had it, and if I had any materials for it. I told him I got it a few years ago and got rid of the stuff, but asked why he was going for it. He said a job he might get was requiring it as one of the certs. He than states they have some sort of plan where he would have to get to CISSP fairly quickly. I told him it would pan out since he lacks the years of experience.

He says, ah that is just a suggestion to which I replied nah it is a requirement. We go back and worth a bit on the subject till he says CCSP is going to take over as the premier security cert (over CISSP). My jaw just dropped....

Devilsbane

ibcritn wrote: »

Pssh Mac's don't need DMZ's they have their own built in DMZ which is then encapsulated into another DMZ.

Sounds like it's time to give your brother a swirly

ehnde

I had a roommate like this back when I still lived in barracks at my first duty station in the Army. Don't really remember any of the outlandish bull he tried to pass over as reality, like everyone around him was stupid....I just remember always having to hide his car keys from him when he got drunk. For some reason his first impulse after several hours of heavy drinking was to go out cruising around the post

We almost got in a fight over this several times.

Devilsbane

ehnde wrote: »

I had a roommate like this back when I still lived in barracks at my first duty station in the Army. Don't really remember any of the outlandish bull he tried to pass over as reality, like everyone around him was stupid....I just remember always having to hide his car keys from him when he got drunk. For some reason his first impulse after several hours of heavy drinking was to go out cruising around the post We almost got in a fight over this several times.

Should have just let him drive, would have been a Darwin award.

subl1m1nal

Yeah, I know a few people like this. It ticks me off. If I don't know about something somebody's talking about, I'll admit it, ask questions, and attempt to learn more. However, I'm not naive. My B-S senses are damn near super-heroic. I will call your bluff and destroy you, leaving you feel like an ass. Seriously, I should be a judge, lawyer, or politician.

I've had a few people tell me that they worked for Microsoft. I've even had people tell me they're certified because they took a test in school. A kid in high school told me he doesn't need a calculator for calculus and does it all in his head. All these people got destroyed while conversing with me. Why do people do this? To impress me? I honestly don't give a ****. Be yourself and let me judge myself if you're "cool", tech savy, or not.

Some people I think it's a social problem. A few people I know have Aspergers. Some people I run into I think have this, and if they do, I feel bad for owning them.

eansdad

While not directed toward IT my mother in law does the same thing with doctors. It's funny to watch her call/talk to doctors like she has a clue. She's even gone so far as to "suggest" what the problem is and how to treat it (ie what meds). When called on her bullsh*t she'll state "well, I'm a french teacher so all I know is education just like your a *insert title here* and you wouldn't know about education". I'd like to slap her most of the times. This is the same person who asks myself or my wife to come over to change light bulbs and she is teacher high school kids. I can see why education is going down the crapper.

erpadmin

Not IT related, but this reminded me of this girl I went to high school with. Everytime we talked about a situation or circumstance, she ALWAYS had a cousin, uncle, brother, grandmother, that had the same exact situation. The first couple of times, it was plausible, but then after awhile, it started getting fishier and fishier. Finally, after the last one, I had to call her out in front of the class. I basically said, "Really? That too?" The whole class got into an uproar as we all had enough of the BS and for the rest of that year, and the year to follow, she never had those stories again.

It was one of those things where if a teacher discussed a Nobel-winning physicist working at NASA, she'll say her uncle is a Nobel-winning physicist working at NASA.

I just found that funny and it's a memory that usually makes me smile more than anything else.

twodogs62

Sounds like she went to school which promoted their classes by saying they'd make so much per year.
High expectations. She has to start entry some where.

alan2308

Another non-IT related one. At my last job, we had this sales guy that always had to one up what anyone was talking about. No matter what anyone was talking about, you could be certain that he would chime in with "Back when I was working for _______, ..."

He was nicknamed the "ninja astronaut" since he had been everywhere and done everything. Including the year he spent in Brazil cage fighting.