Critique request

TLeTourneau

Yet another resume critique request, please let me know what you think and what I can improve.

Thanks in advance!

Tom

cyberguypr

Hey, you have the same phone number I use when filling out web forms. LOL!

Now to the main attraction.

1. I lost interest as soon as I saw the red and blue bars. I'm a purist; some may like it
2. Too many logos in my opinion
3. Certs should be somewhere closer to the summary. That's the meat!
4. Something in the summary isn't working for me but can't pinpoint what it is
5. Professional Experience s weird. What is it? Part of the hospital gig? It threw me off.
6. Revise syntax and spelling: "including multiple VLAN’s and routing including BGP configuration and implantation". The word implantation sounds like the attachment of the fertilized egg or blastocyst to the wall of the uterus at the start of pregnancy. I have a feeling that is not what you want to convey
7. When listing experience I always suggest going with a paragraph presenting responsibilities and then use bullets to highlight key accomplishments/ money saving
8. Technology Summary: I would include this somehow with the Expertise Highlights
9. WGU: instead of "currently enrolled" go with "expected graduation date". It show you have a concrete plan/goal

Everyone

I agree with cyberguypr.

The flow is odd, I don't think its an effecient use of space, could easily be cut down to 2 pages, maybe even down to 1.

For his #4 point, it's because it starts off looking like a Goals section. Goals on a resume are considered bad, because they can restrict/limit you. Even once you get past the goal sounding part of it, it doesn't read like a summary.

You're an IT professional, duh. How long have you been in IT? Do you specialize in any area? Summary should summarize (go figure!) your overall experiences. Yours seems to dance around it without really doing it.

The 2nd paragraph of your Summary sounds a lot closer to how you'd write a cover letter.

VAHokie56

I was turned off immediately by the 2 paragraph summary, Kinda like that feeling you get when you see a really long forum post and just skim it.

" Designed, implemented and maintained the entire IT infrastructure for an organization with 52 servers (several using high availability virtualization) and 450+ workstations including multiple VLAN’s and routing including BGP configuration and implantation."

This is a very odd bullet... it went from talking about servers to a statement that mentioned workstations, vlans and BGP Not trying to be critical I think you have a good start, might just want to get a cleaner flow on it. Good luck

Essendon

Here's what I think of this resume:

1. At first it looks attractive, I dont think it is tacky. But you lose some white space as a result of those colour lines.

2. It reads like a book. Your summary is what... 12 lines long. It shouldnt be more than 2. When your resume first opened up, I was like...I'll read this. When I saw the Summary was 12 lines long, I stopped right there. Take it with a grain of salt, but every sentence begins with I am , I have, I did, I feel, I believe, I.... gives me the impression you are a little full of yourself (dont mean to offend at all, I couldnt come up with a better way to put it). Shorten this to 2-3 sentences.

3. Lose the Expertise highlights bit, another waste of space. If you do want to leave this in, club it with the Technology Summary section and name it Key Skills or something. But I'd still recommend you lose the Skills section completely. You have enough experience as it is and your resume should get you enough hits on the HR keyword filter.

4. Club together some of the Key results in your current gig. Besides your first gig doesnt list company/title/period of employment. Careless, if you ask me.

5. Why dont the rest of the roles have bullet points? Bullets enhance a resume's readability. Like I said, the resume reads like an MS Press book.

6. Education and certs must sit on the first page of the resume. You want HR to go WOW, this guy has certs!

7. Lose the logos too. They are tacky in my opinion, another way of saying, Hey hey look at me, look at me, I am good...

A few threads have been posted in the recent past, I'll list them again and the second one has links to several others.

http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/66276-resume-makeover.html

http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/66247-critique.html

Please go through these and you should be able to come up with a good resume!

Hope this helps, and once again, I didnt mean to offend you. Just told you exactly what I thought and possibly what more than a few prospective employers (technical ones) would think too.

Essendon

cyberguypr wrote: »

The word implantation sounds like the attachment of the fertilized egg or blastocyst to the wall of the uterus at the start of pregnancy.

Asif Dasl

I don't entirely agree with listing professional experience and job roles seperately.

On the second page, why do jobs over 10 years ago get the same amount of space that your current job does? Employers want to know what you know now that'll makes the difference between you an another candidate. They will look to your current role as reference, that's why I would get rid of professional experience and incorporate that with the job descriptions.

Expand your current role out to 3 or 4 times the space and reduce the other roles by half, maybe remove 1 or 2 of them to make space for a 2 page resume.

My 2 cents

TLeTourneau

Thanks for all the feedback and for noticing the typo!!! I'm going to work on it and see what I can do to make it a bit better. Has anyone ever tried the professional resume writing services ot there? Just wondering if it's worth it...

I just picked up a 8-12 month contract so there's no big rush for now but I always like having my resume ready for the next client/employer.

Thanks,

Tom

PS - Can anyone tell me how to add a signature? I can't find it in the control panel, is there a minimum post count or something?

sheckler

I've heard good things about Resume to Interviews Kind of expensive but supposed to be worth it.

switchrat

TLeTourneau wrote: »

Yet another resume critique request, please let me know what you think and what I can improve.

Thanks in advance!

Tom

Hey Tom, I see many resume on a wekkly bases and I can say you have a common issue. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. I see all he this and that but no meat, what projects did you work on, what was its driver, speed, ROI, upgrade for whatever. Also either drop the summary or be positve, it reads like a If I had a dream speech. Let folks know about you and your accomplishments not what you wish too do. Not trying to be harsh but, it's harsh out there. I will say you are a very skilled person. Try a company called Wavsys.com get folks

Here is a tidbit


my best of luck too you