I knew I had made a terrible mistake in entering the IT field... [Long Story]

SteveO86

This is really just absurd.. Are these IT stereo types even still around?

If the fact you work in IT scars women away go find another place to hang out. The IT just breeds stability for it's workers. (Unless we go back into the dark ages).

A pony tail? Really I get a hair cut at least once a month I wouldn't be caught dead with a pony tail.

Let yourself go physically? I hit the gym everyday for hour. It doesn't take much to eat right either

I see countless people with Bluetooth headsets walking around not just IT people. (Besides I got a car with built in Bluetooth so I don't need my headsets anymore)

Maybe this was posted back in the mid-90's got stuck in a routing loop and finally reached it's destination?

(At my current employer no one in my department fits this profile. It's up to you to make choices that steer your life)

erpadmin

MrRyte wrote: »

And if you have trouble picking up chicks :

True story, because those links reminded me of it.

I was going through a drought with the ladies in my early to mid (I was around 23-24). About a few days prior to ending that drought, I had picked up a For Dummies about dating. (Yeah really, it was one of those pocket books that I bought on a lark.)

That night, I was already alumni in my fraternity, and found that there was an open party my house was throwing. I had just gotten a new car, I was armed with two wing-men (who were not brothers, but they were with me so there was no problem) and had renewed my confidence in talking to the ladies. We get to this party around 11PM after we had done our requisite pre-gaming (e.g. drinking, et. al). Chick number 1 was a hot chick that many guys had tried and failed with. So I step up and got much farther with her than the previous fellows. However, she required too much work for what I was looking for that night, so she gets the hand. There were too many good looking chicks to be putting in work with that one. What makes this story interesting is that roles got reversed. I'm usually the guy who stays in the cut and is much more reserved. My main wing-man is usually much more extroverted and is the one hitting on chicks and usually succeeding. He ended up holding court with our more learned brothers discussing global economy and politics (stuff that I usually do, but I was on a mission...lol) One of things I remembered from my "Dummies" book was eye contact. I had made this eye contact with hot chick number 2, as I observed her checking me out. Now normally, I was never one to do the initial approach, but since I had locked eyes with her, I stepped up and talked to her. What "sealed the deal" with her was that I was able to guess what her ethnic background was. (In my inebriated state, no less....) As a bonus, I even told her what her mother was.


Yadda, yadda, yadda, we dated for a few months. It was so out of character for my friend and I to reverse roles like that (it wasn't done on purpose...it just happened like that) we forever refer to that event as a "glitch in the Matrix."

The sad thing about this was that by the time I had it all figured out, I went out and got into the long-term relationship with my girlfriend....going on 9 years now.

But the "secret" to dating is to treat it as a numbers game. For every x amount of chicks that get you a deny, there is y amount that will approve. You can't be shy at all.

Anonymouse

N2IT wrote: »

There is truth to this.

I started eating vegitables and walking 3-4 times a week for 2-3 miles at a time and have dropped 2 waist sizes. I was chiming in at a robust 39 inch waist and I am down to a 37 inch waist.

Right on, man. When I was working graveyards in a data center I gained some weight 'cause most of the time I was sitting on my ass and if I didn't bring my own lunch all I can find at midnight was fast food. I started walking on my 15 minute breaks and my hour long lunch breaks. That equaled to about 3-4 miles 4 nights a week. Didn't really help me lose weight but did help me from going insane in the data center with bright lights and loud fans 10 hours a night. Since then I started trying to eat better and then gave up the walking thing and started riding my bike 2-4 hours a night since I now work days. Also lifting weights 2-3 nights a week. Losing weight slowly but surely now and the workouts are great helldesk stress busters.

Rappeller

erpadmin wrote: »

But the "secret" to dating is to treat it as a numbers game. For every x amount of chicks that get you a deny, there is y amount that will approve. You can't be shy at all.

That's what I tell my scout troop whenever I hear tales of woe. In fact I challenged 1 scout to go out of his comfort zone and ask girls he considered out of his "league" and come back with 10 rejections. The only rule was he had to talk to them as if he seriously wanted to go out and date them (that way he wouldn't be a jerk just to get rejected). This was his report back to me-
ended up with a cheerleader as a girlfriend - took 8 "no's" to get a yes - because I learned to speak to hot girls I can speak to anyone - since I took the challenge I have heard that I am now considered out of some girls league.
It's not just a numbers game but a perception one also.

Iristheangel

Heh... I know this is a holy thread resurrection but man, this one is too funny not to reply to. I hope folks (OP included) don't think this is how IT is. Most of the folks I know in IT are skinny guys. Especially in networking.

You look at folks like Nick Russo, Daniel Dibs, Jason Lunde, etc who have multiple CCIEs and certs and they're pretty similar. Here's my experience:

1) You have to not care about exercise and let your body go – that early onset Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Morbid Obesity aren’t health concerns – they are badges of honor in the IT world.

I probably am more healthy than I've ever been including the time before I got into IT. Your own fitness and health are yours to own (or not own). I find that working out an hour a day before I have to get ready for work really gives me more energy to get my work done and more focus when I study. I use Fitbit to track my workouts and MyFitnessPal to track my calories

2) You have to give up dreams of a satisfying love life.

Well... I am happily married to a beautiful wife so I can't complain about not being satisfied. I don't think my career has anything to do with my dating life. As long as you're not a creeper and you have social skills, this should be a non-issue

3) You have to spend all your time studying, reading, and thinking about IT.

Just give me a caffeine IV and I'm good to go, coach! :P Naw... it does take a lot of study - just like any professional career. Whether you're a doctor, lawyer, or in IT, there's always things you have to do to stay up to date with the latest medicine/laws/etc and recertify in. Whether you want to be just a regular little lawyer chasing ambulances or a partner for a prestigious firm, you get what you put into it. It's the same way with IT - the amount of work you put into bettering yourself, the more job security, pay, etc you get. Like everything though, there's always balance. Even for us crazy folks getting multiple CCIEs, we still spend time with our families and pursue other hobbies. Life still goes on and we're a part of it.

4) You have to be prepared that you will have a pony tail someday.

I definitely have a pony tail at times but I don't think I count in what you're implying here. I can honestly say that I haven't met anyone in IT with a ponytail as of yet. Most companies I work for have a professional dress code and level of hygiene they require. Also ponytails are so 10 years ago :P

5) You have to have no hobbies or other interests.

If I didn't have any other hobbies or interests, I would be a bored monotone little robot. I do still have time to help out a local animal rescue, collect comics, watch the TV shows I like, go on date days with the wifey, have getaways, and work in the political groups I enjoy working in.

6) You have to realize that time spent not looking at a glowing rectangle is time wasted.

Meh.

7) You have to avoid eye contact with others and that social etiquette is for "civilians".

Then the IT guys might accuse me of looking at their chests. Much easier to just look them in the eyes

You have to start wearing polo shirts with some random tech company logo on the front - and a white T-shirt underneath to complete the "asexual geek" look.

I think some guys actually look great in their polos. Have you seen Jason Lunde rock the polo yet? :P I can honestly say I don't show up at work wearing polos if I can avoid it. I'm more of the powersuit type.

9) You have to slump your shoulders in order to get the telltale "mighty humpback" and look like the life has been beaten out of you.

Slumping hurts my back so I have fairly decent posture just for the fact that I hate achey backs and shoulders

10) You have to have a cell phone attached to your belt buckle and a bluetooth ear piece in case anyone has to know what TCP Port 563 does at a moment's notice.

Don't own a belt buckle case. I prefer to slip it in the inside of my pants jacket pocket. I don't own a bluetooth earpiece. I should but I don't. My car has bluetooth and that's the only time I need it.

11) You have to realize that telling a woman, "I work in IT" kills sexual attraction faster than saying, "I have herpes".
This has NEVER happened to me or anyone I know who works in IT. Sounds like a lack of game killed the sexual attraction, not your job title.

12) You have to worship at the altar of IT by putting your genitals in a jar, much like a eunuch, monk, or priest - and instead of chasing girls, dedicate your life to more useful pursuits like "The 3 Phases of PPP Session Establishment".


Gonna be awkward if I have to go home to my wifey and tell her that I genitals have to be put into a jar. Sorry, honey!

13) I was lucky to escape the "Geek Matrix" by going down a wormhole and doing IT work for the Military overseas, but that is another story...

Yeahhhhh... but if that IT work for the military ever ends, becomes unstable or the pay reduces, hows your job security when you get back with all the skills you didn't hone because you found cheap and easy work for so many years and didn't work up your skills? There was a nice gentleman I knew of through professional circles making six figures back in the day doing VLAN changes in Kuwait.... Military cuts came down and he's making half of what he used to make from what I hear. There's a lot more direct ways of making much more money and having job security by investing in yourself and growing your skills so you don't become the weakest link to be chopped.

xxxkaliboyxxx

Holy necro! but how did I miss this thread all these years. This is up there with that 4chan IT support post LOL.

I know where the op is coming from, I did 8 years Army until a few months ago. Even though I was an IT Specialist, they were more worried about leadership than actual IT skills towards the end of my career so working out was part of that leadership. When I got out, the real world slap me in the face and could care less if I worked out, stayed in shape or not. In order to get my certifications, I had to study overtime which something had to give. Unfortunately it was time with my family (agreed as a family) and working out everyday. Now that things have settled a little and I haven't been to the gym 3 months straight, I'm puggy. 3 months all it took! This is where time management plays a roll, instead of me working out everyday, I am going to the gym 3-4 times a week for only an hour, that is enough to stay healthy.

It's definitely a slippery slope.

Iristheangel

@xxxkaliboyxxx - Try getting up an hour earlier and going for a jog on the treadmill or around your house. That's been doing it for me. My weight drastically dropped after a month or two of that + eating healthy. Dropped like 15 pounds that way.

PC509

Kinda corny, but I got a Fitbit. I don't have a planned fitness regimen or anything. But, seeing how little I walk some days, I feel I need to get that number up. Kind of like going for a high score (I do that with my gas milage, too). Some days I walk several miles at work, other days I walk 250 steps... The Fitbit got me way more aware of how much or how little I do walk those days. On the days where I barely walk, I am very much aware of how little I am walking. I see that small amount of steps, and I feel bad. I get up and go for a walk. I go check on things, I go to the check the data center, I go check on the far side of the building to make sure things are clean and working fine (they are, if not I'd hear about it before I even got there). It's an excuse to go for a walk. They got our department a golf cart as it's a fairly large area we cover (not really compared to some other places), but I choose to walk it if it's not an emergency.

Also - cutting out energy drinks. I went to coffee and water. I have more energy, probably more healthy, and not drinking as many calories. Definitely worth it.

Little things help keep me from getting too sedentary. They fit into my schedule most of the time because it's just part of my day.

phantasm

blargoe wrote: »

Dude, get your priorities straight. When your wife leaves you and your kids resent you in the future for being obsessed (notice I didn't say, dedicated) with work above all else in life, are you going to blame that on "the job" too?

Well. Isn't that a bit of interesting foreshadowing. Five years later I'm divorced and my oldest doesn't relate to me. My youngest misses me though and I just moved 500 miles away from them. Looks like I didn't listen.

Iristheangel

@PC509 - Agreed. I ended up getting rid of non-diet sodas. Soda is sort of staple for me and I'm sure I'll end up with cancer/liver disease/growing a 3rd eye/etc from it one day but Cherry Coke Zero helped a lot. I am a creature of habit so as long as I set goals and say 1 hour a day, I'm happy with the rest.

This is what my weight loss progress has looked like since I started taking it serious: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cz55UhJVEAAlYcx.jpg:large

Doesn't matter the job - you have to own your fitness. The only exception to this is if you're working 20 hours a day and well... then you might need to find a new job because that should NOT be anyone's norm. 1 hour a day of working out might cut into study time and that might equate to 4-6 hours a week which might extend your studying by a week to a month (depending on the cert you're going for) but it's way better than dying of a heart attack or the stress of gaining and trying to lose again at the end of it.

TechGromit

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

That to be really good in IT...

You have to not care about exercise and let your body go – that early onset Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Morbid Obesity aren’t health concerns – they are badges of honor in the IT world.

I'll have to admit my waist line has grown over the last few years, but I think that's more a product of a slower metabolism of being over 40, than "letting myself go being in IT"

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to give up dreams of a satisfying love life.

While my Wife is no supermodel, I don't think I've done half bad for myself. She did do some amateur modeling while in College.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to spend all your time studying, reading, and thinking about IT.

Yea, that didn't happen for most of my career. Most of my career I pretty much got by with what I learned on the job. I've only been more serious about studying and learning the last couple years.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to be prepared that you will have a pony tail someday.

Not sure what genetic condition causes this, but i think I've have one by now if I was going to get it.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to have no hobbies or other interests.

That's why I suck at my job, I knew there had to be a reason. My hobbies and interest are getting in the way of being the next Steve jobs. Guess I'll have to cut out ****.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to realize that time spent not looking at a glowing rectangle is time wasted.

Glowing rectangle? You mean the monitor? The TV? Or my Phone? I'm so confused.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to avoid eye contact with others and that social etiquette is for "civilians".

Not an issue for me, in fact hitting on all the cute girls at work makes me look forward to going to work everyday.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to start wearing polo shirts with some random tech company logo on the front - and a white T-shirt underneath to complete the "asexual geek" look.

I never wear polo-shirts, but I have been complaining at work recently everyone I see has a shirt with the company logo except me.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to slump your shoulders in order to get the telltale "mighty humpback" and look like the life has been beaten out of you.

It's called having a Wife, has nothing to do with working in IT.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to have a cell phone attached to your belt buckle and a bluetooth ear piece in case anyone has to know what TCP Port 563 does at a moment's notice.

Only have a bluetooth in my car when I take calls when driving, and I couldn't tell you what TCP port 563 is for.

Leonardo Fantastico wrote: »

You have to realize that telling a woman, "I work in IT" kills sexual attraction faster than saying, "I have herpes".

Yea, I'll have to admit it doens't have the same pickup interest as I'm a Movie Director. That's why all the girls at work think I'm a Movie Director.

Iristheangel

You work in Infosec, right, TechGromit? I'm pretty sure telling a lady that you work in a growing industry that pays well and has a negative unemployment rate in certain parts of the country is considered a HUGE turn off to any ladies that care about what you do for a living

I just tell them that I am "in between" acting gigs and currently crashing on a friend's couch. That tends to work.

Is it wrong that this is the image I get when someone thinks they have to impress a girl by saying they work in IT?

PC509

HAHA! (I think it's time I shave the mustache and put up the Tron outfit.... Crap.)

I tell people I work in IT. It keeps the girls away. My wife tells people I work at a winery. That keeps them coming pretty close.

NERDS!!!!!! Wait... Wine? Heeeeeeyyyyyyyy. It sucks, though. I get a killer deal, but I'm more of a craft beer drinker and wife rarely drinks wine (and if she does it's only riesling).

It's not the IT that gets the girls interested. It's what else I have at work! "So, we got a new Cisco UCS set up and a large NetApp storage array and it's awesome!" "Do you have any pinor noir?"

UnixGuy

Holy old thread, I remember laughing at this thread!! Some of my favourite posters who longer post (Turgon) have replied. And some are still here (Networker, Blargoe).


IrisTheAngel: you bring good points. I don't think IT itself as a career is the problem; but IT seem to attract people with problems. Like I don't think IT causes people to have bad social skills or unhealthy habits, but it attract people who have these problems or have a tendency to develop those problems.

Addicted to studying? ==> You're not addicted, you're just bad at managing your time.

Overweight? ==> You just lack the discipline to plan, research, prep, and cook your own food.

Bad Social skills/love life? ==> You prefer instant gratification of facebook/videogames/tv instead of addressing the real underlying issues.


Phantasm: I'm so sorry to hear that mate! It must be very hard.

Mike7

Telling people you work in IT?

Next question is "my PC/laptop/smartphone has problem, can fix?"

volfkhat

phantasm wrote: »

Well. Isn't that a bit of interesting foreshadowing. Five years later I'm divorced and my oldest doesn't relate to me. My youngest misses me though and I just moved 500 miles away from them. Looks like I didn't listen.

This was an EPIC thread with a Lot of life-lessons.

The world is a messed up place.... but you can still find somer happiness (with enough luck).


Thanks for having the courage to share :]

TechGromit

Iristheangel wrote: »

I just tell them that I am "in between" acting gigs and currently crashing on a friend's couch. That tends to work.

I wasn't entirely serious about picking up women at work, my Wife frowns on me bring other women home and sharing our bed with them. she's so old fashioned.

Iristheangel

Oh I know you were. My wife gets angry about the same thing. Prudes! jking :P

Danielm7

This is too funny and totally worth the necro, somehow I missed it before. But, all jokes aside everyone else is right, taking care of yourself is #1. When I see people here talking about working 70-80 hours a week as a badge of honor I can't even imagine what their health or personal lives look like if they are working that much. I work a great job, have a family/social life and manage to exercise in between. Also, no ponytail, it's been a lot of years in IT now, hasn't happen yet so I'm probably safe.

scaredoftests

*unattractive women? AHEM, I think I am rather cute myself. IT has been very, very good to me and my hubby.

DatabaseHead

I love this post, it never gets old.

chopsticks

2011 post, wow this is really an old thread.

iBrokeIT

"I pretty much spent almost every waking hour the next few years either working or studying."
aka "I am completely shocked and didn't realize that there are consequences to prioritizing X over everything else until they actually hit me!"

The biggest problem with people, like the OP, that come on here and complain about these things is their ego. They think that the path to success in the IT field is a 1-3 year sprint and once they are finished they will be better than everyone else and can just coast for the remaining 30 years at that level with no further effort outside of their job.

You are also delusional if you think the problem of not maintaining a healthy balance of family time, your health, professional development and career success is exclusive to the IT field.

DatabaseHead

iBrokeIT, funny you mention this but I've known quite a few people who moved out of IT once they had this realization.

mzx380

OP reminds me a lot of the thread I started here about the things I learned in '16. Ultimately what you can take away from the lessons we are posting are three things

1) Take the time to upgrade yourself in all aspects of life
2) Keep a balance for the things in life you can't live without
and
3) Plan....plan.....plan

spicy ahi

I wonder if he stayed in IT and made it into the upper levels. Sounds like he was complaining about being a foot soldier and I admit, my time in the trenches wasn't fun. But now that I'm in management, my technical skills aren't as important as they were. I now study more for familiarity, so that when the techs explain something to me, I understand what they're saying and can ask (hopefully) intelligent questions. Am I still pursuing certs? Not for my career path. But maybe I'll get a cert or two to fill in my free time.

Wait. Did I say free time? It's true. I actually have free time. this with a 50-60 hour work week, teaching/mentoring high school students about cyber security, and having a wife and kids to care about. BUT I've been running on 4-5 hours of sleep a night for so long that I actually do have some free time.

I've got friends that I "came up" with in our careers who have remained very technical and are still excited about the cert cycle. But they've also added family, hobbies, and all those things the OP said it was impossible to have and be successful in this field. None of them are Jabbas either. They're all marathoners/ironmen because working out actually helps to banish the dreaded burnout. I think out of my friend group, I might be the Jabba. *sniff* Because I only run three times a week.

At the end of it all, I think the one thing I can agree with in his post is that those who really love IT will succeed far beyond those who don't. Isn't that true of everything in life though? If you don't love what you do, you aren't going to do very well. But if you love it, you'll excel despite the challenges. And I'd hazard to say that those who truly love it (and most of your comments support this) have the capacity to add other things to balance their lives because the love of "the game" means that we'll do well no matter how much time we have to dedicate to our craft.

Oh and Iris, thanks for resurrecting this thread!

iBrokeIT

DatabaseHead wrote: »

iBrokeIT, funny you mention this but I've known quite a few people who moved out of IT once they had this realization.

Yes, I know DatabaseHead and I've seen it many times myself, both in IT and other fields. Most of time, people humbly accept that either their desired lifestyle or personality isn't a good fit for their chosen career path and then move on to something that is a better fit for them.


The OP is a text book example of what happens when a Type-A egotist doesn't achieve own inflated definition of success but someone else does! They then begin to lash out at any opportunity they get, fail to take responsibility for their choices, job performance suffers, get fired and then come up with some contrived excused how its not their fault(again). Sadly, I've seen that cycle repeat itself more than a few times at an organization that liked to hire Type-A sales reps that didn't like to do simple things like keep up with product changes or quoting software changes and it started that same spiral downwards.

TechGromit

Danielm7 wrote: »

When I see people here talking about working 70-80 hours a week as a badge of honor I can't even imagine what their health or personal lives look like if they are working that much.

What's sad is they believe the company appreciates there dedication, when in reality they are being taken advantage of. They might say I work 80 hours a week to make 100k a year, but break that down hourly, that's $24 a hour. I much rather work 40 hours a week and make 60k a year, then 80 hours and make 100k. I'm not opposed to putting some overtime on occasion, but if it's every week, your a fool that being taking advantage of. If your working 50 or 60 hours a week, every week, they need to hire more help.

Codeman6669

LMAO
FYI im a network engineer. I was in a rock band for three years and i got more pussy then a strip club sees in a year. I climbed up the ladder rather quickly at work because i worked hard, had a good attitude. I didint demean others because of their enthusiasm or looks. In fact, i never cared what other did. I just did my own thing.
Im 6ft 4 180lbs fit, good looking, now have a steady girlfriend I love. Any girl i tell them I do IT they auto think successful and smart.

Simply put. Your problem is you. Not everyone else. Your depression made you an ugly person and it showed to the people that mattered. Attitude is EVERYTHING in IT. If you have a **** attitude no one will want to work with you...and that's exactly what happened to you. I know guys like you at the job. I dont cover their ass when they make mistakes. I dont train them on advanced concepts. I dont go out of my way to help them out. Once you realize YOU are the problem, then maybe you can fix that. Until then, enjoy jacking off four times a day.

ThePuterGeek

My whole morning at work has been blown by reading this thread! I love it.