Resigned. Lesson learned.

baseball1988

I have strong relationships with my colleagues. We go out to parties and have meals together quite often. One of my colleagues asked: "what is your career goal? do you enjoy working here?" and I accidentally told him that I have no intention of moving up within the department and my interest is within another department. It just slipped out of my mouth and thought he was someone I could trust. I think my colleague told my manager. My manager gave up on me since then and he put a lot of effort on another employee. My manager kept giving major responsibilities to a junior employee instead of me. It appears like my opportunity to switch to a different department is near impossible and I kind of lost motivation.

My colleague kept asking if I was going to look for another job. I said no. My assumption is that my manager is no longer going to promote me. In order to get into another department of my dream, I will have to work to the top within my current dept. I believe my colleague was trying to give me hints to leave. I tried to work extremely hard to show my enthusiasm again but it didn't work. I resigned and had another job lined up.

I just want to pass my message to other people on this forum!! Don't make the same mistake!

Anyone experience the same thing? Was there something I could have done?

Thanks,

Mr. Baseball1988.

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Comments

Forsaken_GA

erpadmin wrote: »

Required reading for IT professionals...really anyone, but IT professionals especially. Best part is, both of these books are free on Amazon (via Kindle):

The Prince by Machiavelli

Art of War by Sun Tzu

I highly agree with and support this advice.

dontstop

Here is some information to back up what erpadmin said: References FAQ You would need to also look at the law in your area to see how it translates. I'm pretty sure that they won't go that far, unless they really are nasty people.

---

Also to agree with what robertkaucher said, any manager who shows disdain towards an employee who has aspirations outside of the current workplace is not a real manager. Cream rises to the top, employees who do the same should be valued. There is nothing worse than coming to work and being surrounded by campers a la those who come to work to do their 8 till 4 or 9 till 5 with no intention of bringing in new knowledge or want to better the company. Those who are happy to do the minimum to get by and take their pay check at the end of the week.

On the other hand you have the night-to-day opposites, those who want to learn (like yourself OP) and those who want to work in ever bigger & better places, managers should try to hold onto these people for as long as they can, but they need to understand that like a wild animal they need to be set free (proverbially) into the work place to grow. What they don't currently see is the positive impact these people have on their workplace during their short stay. People look upto these workers, motivating themselves to be like them and momentarily allowing them to escape the rut they are in. If a work place has a lot of these people (out numbering the campers) then it becomes really hard to just sit back and cruise through your job (see: Apple, Google, Twitter etc.)

A real manager can see the value of the latter worker and uses them to an advantage for the brief time they are around, never should a manager hold back such an employee - [a good example would be the kid in a sports team who is just amazing for his age, it would not be fair on him to hold him back, he needs to be allowed to move forward to somewhere more challenging] But while they are still willing to offer your company something, you should keep them around.

With your next boss, try and maintain open communication about your career and future - Let him be the only person who knows about this though.

Goodluck

Forsaken_GA

baseball1988 wrote: »

Here is the latest update about my story:

There is some bas**** at my current workplace who gossip and spread my news very quickly. I resigned about a week ago. Only 3 people knew about my new employer.

it's interesting to read through this thread. I've been unhappy with my current employer for awhile (buyouts of smaller companies by large corporate entities can have that effect). I put out some feelers a bit ago seeking other employment, and last week, I hit a perfect storm... one day phone interview, second day in person interview, third day job offer. It's the work I want to be doing, the pay I wanted, and the hours I wanted, only issue is location, but that I can deal with for awhile.

The job offer came on Friday, I haven't yet notified my current employer (figured there was no point in ruining anyone's Christmas), I'll take care of that tomorrow. My leaving is going to cause an upheaval, as I'm a single point of failure for several things within the department (this is a situation I've been trying to remedy for months, but no one's been willing to pick up the ball).

I'm fairly certain there's a business relationship between my current employer and my new one, so I'm not going to tell them where I'm going. Nothing good could possibly come of it, and it's information they do not need in any form. I'm also going to decline the exit interview. When someone is leaving is the wrong time to ask them what's wrong with the company, they've had many opportunities over the last few months to either address or engage me on my concerns. I will work as hard up until my last minute of employment as I have prior to my decision to leave, and I will do everything I can to ensure the succession is as smooth as it can be. But I'll do that for my teammates, I don't owe the company a damn thing that I haven't already given.

Turgon

baseball1988 wrote: »

Here is the latest update about my story:

There is some bas**** at my current workplace who gossip and spread my news very quickly. I resigned about a week ago. Only 3 people knew about my new employer.

1. The first person is my former supervisor who left the company a while ago (used him as my reference)
2. The second person is a colleague who still works at my current employer (used him as my reference)
3. The third person is my current supervisor (he asked where I am going AFTER a few days of my resignation and I told him...i may have him as my future reference so i didn't want to say "i can't tell you"... eventually he will find out)

Strange points:

~ My manager was NOT shocked when I resigned. It appears like he found out even before I walked into his office. Upon my resignation, he asked: you found a new job? I said yes. You going going for X position. I said yes. I find it strange for him to know the exact job title when I didn't even tell him in the beginning. So, i believe my references told him...Imagine if I didn't get the job offer...i would be stuck in an awkward situation.

~ One colleague of mine managed to FIGURE out about the company I will be going to. Either from 1. or 2.
It can't be 3. because I know he respect me and he even said "i will let you share your news with others".

I have about a couple more days before I leave...I am wondering if there is anything I should be concern of right now? I don't want anyone to interfere and I want a smooth transition. I know some people are jealous. I just don't want people at my current company to contact my FUTURE company and start saying bad things about me to ruin my opportunity (even though there isn't anything bad about me in the beginning). Most of them are nice but also have 2-face kind of personality.

I think you are getting too hung up about things. I suggest you relax and have a Merry Christmas with your family, put it all behind you and show up at the new job determined to forget the old places and concentrate on settling in the next three months. Simply learn to use some discretion in your next job with anything personal including your issues at work or plans for the future kept firmly to yourself. If this job works out it's highly unlikely you will be going anywhere for a couple of years anyway, so get to know the new people and work hard on building positive employee relationships. A new job is difficult in that regard so try not to over analyze things as people get used to having to work with you as the new person.

cyberguypr

Turgon wrote: »

I think you are getting too hung up about things. I suggest you relax and have a Merry Christmas with your family, put it all behind you and show up at the new job determined to forget the old places and concentrate on settling in the next three months. Simply learn to use some discretion in your next job with anything personal including your issues at work or plans for the future kept firmly to yourself. If this job works out it's highly unlikely you will be going anywhere for a couple of years anyway, so get to know the new people and work hard on building positive employee relationships. A new job is difficult in that regard so try not to over analyze things as people get used to having to work with you as the new person.

I agree with Turgon. Don't make it more complex that it should be. You talked more than you should've and the wrong people were listening. Live and learn my friend. Just be careful you don't completely isolate yourself at the new place. Be selective on what you say and who you say it to.

BTW, you need new/better references. Don't forget that friend, coworker and a professional reference are not necessarily synonymous.

nel

yeah man, your overlooking into things now. Just chill, relax, enjy the season and get trashed on NYE

Always leave on a good note, you never know who you may run into down the road. So finish on a 100% positive man!

RobertKaucher

erpadmin wrote: »

I would hope that no one has to work under a boss who is adversarial. Otherwise, I would straight up leave a job with someone like that. That earlier advice is more for how to handle coworkers/office politics. I was introduced to the earlier books in high school (in fact, they were required reading for my history classes.) One should always be upfront with the boss, but something the boss has his own agenda, and expects his subordanates to follow it. But what I was addressing were adversarial coworkers. I thankfully don't have to deal with that too much as we all have our own hustles, and our own personal issues do not clashes with each other. But every shop is different.

Well, my post wasn't really directed at what you suggested. I do believe those books are required reading. I just quoted you since you made the chess/checkers quote. But it sounds to me the boss was the terd...

UnixGuy

Turgon wrote: »

Difficult to say if what you confided got back to the higher ups directly so be careful of assumptions there. In business its best to have two faces. One needs to be sufficiently open with coworkers so they feel you are someone they trust and can work with. The second has no place in business, that of your personal aspirations. ....

This.

I learned from my mistake too, but I corrected things with my boss by doing what I best can do: being very honest. I spoke honestly with my boss starting with "I need your help with this and that..".

Anyway, I warn my close friends about this. EVEN if you 100% trust your co-worker, don't say these things. Why? because your trustworthy co-worker might repeat these things (by mistake, out of goodwill) in front of another person, not knowing that this might create problems for you (it happened with me, or that's what I assumed happened).

UnixGuy

baseball1988 wrote: »

Here is the latest update about my story:

There is some bas**** at my current workplace who gossip and spread my news very quickly. I resigned about a week ago. Only 3 people knew about my new employer.

1. The first person is my former supervisor who left the company a while ago (used him as my reference)
2. The second person is a colleague who still works at my current employer (used him as my reference)
3. The third person is my current supervisor (he asked where I am going AFTER a few days of my resignation and I told him...i may have him as my future reference so i didn't want to say "i can't tell you"... eventually he will find out)

Strange points:

~ My manager was NOT shocked when I resigned. It appears like he found out even before I walked into his office. Upon my resignation, he asked: you found a new job? I said yes. You going going for X position. I said yes. I find it strange for him to know the exact job title when I didn't even tell him in the beginning. So, i believe my references told him...Imagine if I didn't get the job offer...i would be stuck in an awkward situation.

~ One colleague of mine managed to FIGURE out about the company I will be going to. Either from 1. or 2.
It can't be 3. because I know he respect me and he even said "i will let you share your news with others".

I have about a couple more days before I leave...I am wondering if there is anything I should be concern of right now? I don't want anyone to interfere and I want a smooth transition. I know some people are jealous. I just don't want people at my current company to contact my FUTURE company and start saying bad things about me to ruin my opportunity (even though there isn't anything bad about me in the beginning). Most of them are nice but also have 2-face kind of personality.

you know what man, don't even think about it. If anyone opens his mouth with you about the new company, give him a middle finger, that's nobody's business! you didn't do anything wrong; THEY DID. They need to mind their own business and stick their nose where it belongs!