First time - Critique my resume please?

higherho

Hi all, I just realized I never asked anyone from Tech exams for a critique! I consider a lot of you to be very professional and experts in your field so coming here for a critique would be the best place. Now I also want to share some of my logic with you on how I market myself and what I can do to improve that. I do use a lot of career based sites and linkedin. I also try to format my resume so its easy to read and that each job I only show three to four major highlights of what the position entails. Anything else that I've done in the position or have knowledge / experience doing I put down in my skill list. I recently took off a position that was on my resume. It was a two month contract terminating cable at various places (hospitals, schools, etc). I took it off because throughout my resume I show that I have cable experience and I needed to shorten my resume so that it would not exceed so many pages (trying to keep it at a minimal of two). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

RUPDATE.doc


EDIT

now that I think about it. I should shorten my education side of things (the certificates for the network academy will be worthless when I get my CCNA).

ptilsen

Perform: Starts three sentences
Maintain: Starts three sentences
Deploy: Starts four sentences (in some form)

Try to use some more variety in your experience descriptions.

More importantly, cut out about half of your experience content. At least half, in fact. I appreciate how difficult this can be. You've had a lot of exposure to a lot of tech and want to show it. However, it's more than a hiring manager wants to read. Try to keep descriptions to one sentence per bullet point, ideally not even using sentences. If you do use extend past the first line, use at least 70% of the second line. This prevents wasting a lot of space, which is what's currently happening. You won't like reading this, but this resume should be one page. If you do it right you can get away with two pages, but IMO four years of experience is just not enough for two pages. Again, you can definitely get away with it, and I've actually hired guys with less that had two-page resumes. Some hiring managers, however, will actually throw out a two-page resume for a mid-level position. In any case, you can't get away with two and a half pages, so be sure to fill two full pages as a worst case. More than two or an incomplete page is never acceptable. Never, ever, ever.

Cut out all of your college certificates and your AAS. You have a BS in IT with a minor in Business Administration. Everything else in that section is a distraction from those credentials. I will most likely be removing my $38,000 AAS from my resume once I get my BS, so I realize fully the extent of how it might feel to remove those credentials from your resume.

If all of your short-term gigs were contracts, consider combining them into one section. If the "Technical Consultant 1" was not a contract job, be prepared to explain the short tenure there. Six month is fortunately short enough that even a full-time gig can be explained as "not a good fit" rather than job-hopping.

Shorten out skills to just the buzz words. Citrix XenApp & XenDesktop, Windows scripting, BASH scripting, Windows 2000, XP, Vista, 7, etc. "Experience", "Knowledge of", and "Proficient in" don't add value to your skills list. As a general tip, if you aren't prepared to defend your skills rigorously during an interview, don't list them. As an example, I interviewed a guy who had Citrix on there the other day who had never deployed Citrix applications, desktops, or created servers. His experience came down to having managed user sessions on Citrix servers, which is level 1 helpdesk stuff. It's okay to pad a bit, but be prepared to defend it. (I'm not questioning your skills; just giving a tip and sharing an anecdote). Anyway, expand your skills to include more of the buzz words and search terms.

Also, bring skills to the top, immediately above experience. I want to know right of the bat what you're proficient in and what you're not. Another line of thought is that you can effectively enumerate your skills in your experience and shouldn't have a skills section at all. I don't follow this line of thinking, but I've seen it applied successfully. In your case, I think a good five-to-ten-bullet skills section would be good. Your current "Summary of Qualifications" content should be pushed into a skills content.

If you are going to have a "Summary of Qualifications", just call it summary and write a short, 2-3 sentence paragraph about yourself. I'm actually in favor of doing away with this entirely, but there's nothing wrong with it when done right. Currently, it's not done right. You don't want bullet points and quite so many specific hard skills. Again, that's what your Skills section is for.

Regarding certifications, list out your MCTS certs. Your current listing might as well say "Security+". If you don't have any MCTS certs, it sure doesn't make sense to list MCITP. Listing MCITP:SA with a deadline doesn't add any value to me, and actually comes off as resume padding. Either you have it or you don't. If you listed CISSP with an expected date and hadn't even taken the written, you would probably be barred from taking the test at all if ISC(2) found out. Just food for thought.

You might consider having a "Qualifications" section. In this section, you can list your certifications, security clearance, and letter of appreciation.

My last piece of advice and most important piece of advice is to list your accomplishments and successes in your experience. Your experience section should not be an extensive enumeration of responsibilities and technology exposure. It should be brief high-level job descriptions matched with major successes and noteworthy accomplishments. Think about what you did for those organizations. Did you impact costs, revenues, or efficiency? Did you help the bottom line or make a difference in achieving organization goals?

higherho

ptilsen wrote: »

Perform: Starts three sentences
Maintain: Starts three sentences
Deploy: Starts four sentences (in some form)

Try to use some more variety in your experience descriptions.

More importantly, cut out about half of your experience content. At least half, in fact. I appreciate how difficult this can be. You've had a lot of exposure to a lot of tech and want to show it. However, it's more than a hiring manager wants to read. Try to keep descriptions to one sentence per bullet point, ideally not even using sentences. If you do use extend past the first line, use at least 70% of the second line. This prevents wasting a lot of space, which is what's currently happening. You won't like reading this, but this resume should be one page. If you do it right you can get away with two pages, but IMO four years of experience is just not enough for two pages. Again, you can definitely get away with it, and I've actually hired guys with less that had two-page resumes. Some hiring managers, however, will actually throw out a two-page resume for a mid-level position. In any case, you can't get away with two and a half pages, so be sure to fill two full pages as a worst case. More than two or an incomplete page is never acceptable. Never, ever, ever.

Great point! I will modify it.

Cut out all of your college certificates and your AAS. You have a BS in IT with a minor in Business Administration. Everything else in that section is a distraction from those credentials. I will most likely be removing my $38,000 AAS from my resume once I get my BS, so I realize fully the extent of how it might feel to remove those credentials from your resume.

Done! I only added the AAS because it was considered a seperate degree but now that I think about it all the classes were pretty much the same as in the B.S minus the minor.

If all of your short-term gigs were contracts, consider combining them into one section. If the "Technical Consultant 1" was not a contract job, be prepared to explain the short tenure there. Six month is fortunately short enough that even a full-time gig can be explained as "not a good fit" rather than job-hopping.

Actually that technical consultant 1 position is with the same company I'm with now. I just got a promotion within that 6 month time frame. The three month job was just not my fit (I traveled for 100 miles a day and the environment was not for me).

Shorten out skills to just the buzz words. Citrix XenApp & XenDesktop, Windows scripting, BASH scripting, Windows 2000, XP, Vista, 7, etc. "Experience", "Knowledge of", and "Proficient in" don't add value to your skills list. As a general tip, if you aren't prepared to defend your skills rigorously during an interview, don't list them. As an example, I interviewed a guy who had Citrix on there the other day who had never deployed Citrix applications, desktops, or created servers. His experience came down to having managed user sessions on Citrix servers, which is level 1 helpdesk stuff. It's okay to pad a bit, but be prepared to defend it. (I'm not questioning your skills; just giving a tip and sharing an anecdote). Anyway, expand your skills to include more of the buzz words and search terms.

Good point I always felt my skill set was to long and could be shorten in some way. I just did not know what words to use. I agree my one professor put me through the ring with the cisco stuff at the time and what I put asked me general questions to some mid to in depth questions and if I got any wrong in the intro then I would have to remove it. I don't want to look bad in from a tech interview.

Also, bring skills to the top, immediately above experience. I want to know right of the bat what you're proficient in and what you're not. Another line of thought is that you can effectively enumerate your skills in your experience and shouldn't have a skills section at all. I don't follow this line of thinking, but I've seen it applied successfully. In your case, I think a good five-to-ten-bullet skills section would be good. Your current "Summary of Qualifications" content should be pushed into a skills content.

thanks! Keep the skills content and bring it up to the top were the summary of qualifications is. Then take what I put in the summary of qualifications in to the skill section. Makes great sense.

If you are going to have a "Summary of Qualifications", just call it summary and write a short, 2-3 sentence paragraph about yourself. I'm actually in favor of doing away with this entirely, but there's nothing wrong with it when done right. Currently, it's not done right. You don't want bullet points and quite so many specific hard skills. Again, that's what your Skills section is for.

I agree. thanks.

Regarding certifications, list out your MCTS certs. Your current listing might as well say "Security+". If you don't have any MCTS certs, it sure doesn't make sense to list MCITP. Listing MCITP:SA with a deadline doesn't add any value to me, and actually comes off as resume padding. Either you have it or you don't. If you listed CISSP with an expected date and hadn't even taken the written, you would probably be barred from taking the test at all if ISC(2) found out. Just food for thought.

Did not know that know that about the CISSP. My logic behind added the MCITP SA was to show my current studies / progression but after reading what you said I can simply tell the individual that in person or list it on my cover letter.

You might consider having a "Qualifications" section. In this section, you can list your certifications, security clearance, and letter of appreciation.

Done! That shortnes up my resume a lot!

My last piece of advice and most important piece of advice is to list your accomplishments and successes in your experience. Your experience section should not be an extensive enumeration of responsibilities and technology exposure. It should be brief high-level job descriptions matched with major successes and noteworthy accomplishments. Think about what you did for those organizations. Did you impact costs, revenues, or efficiency? Did you help the bottom line or make a difference in achieving organization goals?

I agree with you here. I will have to sit down and think how to write this out successfully.

Valsacar

Add adjudication date to your clearance line, that's something that they will need to see (if applying for positions that require it). Even if you're not applying to a clearance required job, it's still good to list as it shows that you are highly trustworthy in the eyes of the US government. Also list if this is a DoD clearance or DoS, as different government agencies do not accept each others clearances.

I'd drop the references line, it's really not useful and wastes space. If you're military (or recently separated), go to ACAP/TAP, they're pretty good at fixing up resumes as well as teaching things like interview skills.

Summary of Qualifications is a good section up front, but the way you wrote it is pretty boring. I'd do an overall X years experience in IT, then add in a specific line for jobs you're applying to (for example if it's a server side job, list the 2 years of server experience) and combine it will the skills section. You can move the clearance into the summary, that will save a little space. Awards and certifications could be combined as well.

I like using a Summary of Qualifications like you have, others might disagree. All depends on how you use it, it should be relatively short and specific to the position you are applying for (no resume should be used for multiple applications). I agree with ptilsen on not using both summary/skills section and listing out individual things in your jobs. I personally just use the summary as much of my work experience overlaps, so instead of saying basically the same thing multiple times I say it once. At an interview I can give more detailed information about my claimed skills and where I used/gained them. It's worked well for me so far, got a good job off my first round of applications when I left the Army.

EDIT: On this topic, "Actually that technical consultant 1 position is with the same company I'm with now. I just got a promotion within that 6 month time frame. The three month job was just not my fit (I traveled for 100 miles a day and the environment was not for me). "

I have a couple jobs like that, I listed them all as one and showed dates in each role. That way you show progression, but take up less space on the resume.

higherho

Updated my resume. Its now 1 page - let me know what you think. I greatly appreciate all the advice given!

EDIT fixed some typos, etc. Reattached document.

EDIT 2 First line in skills set has been changed to Experience in

EDIT 3 did some more adjustments. Uploaded new doc.

Redone 3.doc

ptilsen

Looking pretty good. I would add another line or two to your bottom job. Even though it's your lowest-level, you spent a lot of time there and probably have something to show for it.

Getting really nit-picky, but I'm not sure how I feel about your font choice. Arial Narrow is not fun to read. I would stick with Arial 10, Calibri 12, maybe even Century 11. Just not Arial Narrow.

I would drop the "- 4 years" part and just have Experience. Let them do the math. Plus, you don't have to change it or make rounding decisions at time passes.

Make sure to stick with the same tense and style on your experience. You having present and past in there, as well as some non-verbs. I would suggest starting all experience bullets with a past-tense verb. Also, try to stick the accomplishment at the beginning and the how at the end. For example:

• Created documentation to improve work flow , system processes which showed an increase in productivity by 90%
Becomes:
• Improved work flow and system process productivity by over 90% through effective procedural documentation

I would list Systems Engineer (Contract) or Systems Engineer - Contract for that job.

See if you can play with the formatting a bit in the Skills section. Maybe do a table, or fewer-but-longer bullet points. It's taking up just a bit too much real estate. I would still consider combining Qualifications and Education -- once again, to save space. The section headers use up a lot of space -- about two lines worth of regular text.

Overall, it's looking good. You just need to tweak it to perfection at this point.

higherho

@Valsacar

Thanks, a lot of great points and added to my resume

ptilsen wrote: »

Looking pretty good. I would add another line or two to your bottom job. Even though it's your lowest-level, you spent a lot of time there and probably have something to show for it.

Like you mentiond below I will need to play with the skills section because when I add a line for the bottom job it jumps to the next page.

Getting really nit-picky, but I'm not sure how I feel about your font choice. Arial Narrow is not fun to read. I would stick with Arial 10, Calibri 12, maybe even Century 11. Just not Arial Narrow.

Century 11 looks so much better!

Make sure to stick with the same tense and style on your experience. You having present and past in there, as well as some non-verbs. I would suggest starting all experience bullets with a past-tense verb. Also, try to stick the accomplishment at the beginning and the how at the end. For example:

• Created documentation to improve work flow , system processes which showed an increase in productivity by 90%
Becomes:
• Improved work flow and system process productivity by over 90% through effective procedural documentation

Good point, just took notice to that. Past jobs I have now listed as past tense verbs (provided, etc).

I would list Systems Engineer (Contract) or Systems Engineer - Contract for that job.

Would that be alright to do even though it was not a contact based job?

See if you can play with the formatting a bit in the Skills section. Maybe do a table, or fewer-but-longer bullet points. It's taking up just a bit too much real estate. I would still consider combining Qualifications and Education -- once again, to save space. The section headers use up a lot of space -- about two lines worth of regular text.

Ya the formatting for the skills section is rough. Trying a few things so that I can add another line to one of the bottom jobs.

Overall, it's looking good. You just need to tweak it to perfection at this point.

Thanks!

ptilsen

higherho wrote: »

Would that be alright to do even though it was not a contact based job?

No, sorry, I assumed it was. Definitely be accurate and honest in your descriptions.


Unrelated, but have you worked with P4000 (LeftHand) SANs at all? I'm just curious.

higherho

ptilsen wrote: »

No, sorry, I assumed it was. Definitely be accurate and honest in your descriptions.

Yea, I got asked why it was only 3 months and I told them about the travel time and how the environment was not for me. I think we my recent successes at this job that the three month job would not look as bad. I took off a temporary contact job that I mentioned in my main topic. I was considering doing this same with this one but since it was not a contract I figured it would look like I'm hiding something.

Unrelated, but have you worked with P4000 (LeftHand) SANs at all? I'm just curious.

Nope, sorry EMC and now Dell Compellent. I'm so glad to get away from EMC's. Seriously creating Raid groups and then LUNS take FOREVER on EMCs. Plus how they charge you per drive array for licenses, etc is just a bunch of BS (more cash for them =/).


decrease one line in the skills section (was able to combine it with another).

higherho

Got it down to 1 page! Let me know what you all think and thats for the great advice!

Redone 4.doc

vanquish23

higherho:

Let me know if your currently looking for a career. My company always had jobs for TS/SCI. Send me a PM if interested.

Valsacar

Looking better, I think you're mainly down to formatting (font, color, etc) and maybe a little more on wording (some things could be a little stronger).

Got the same offer for you as vanquish23, same company as well. We're overseas (great, if you don't have a family or they are willing to move). We're starting a new contract soon, so we'll actually have a number of openings over here in the second half of the year (FSO, networks, sysad, help desk, etc).

Everyone

Don't use different color fonts, keep everything black.

I'd change the margins to 0.5".

You should have a summary.

You shouldn't need a "Skills" section, you should be able to work those keywords into your experience. The space wasted here can be better used elsewhere.

You don't need to list your certification numbers, if they need that info, they'll ask, just list the name of the cert.

You need to show accomplishments, all you have is a list of responsibilities. Like I keep repeating myself in these threads, paragraphs for responsibilities followed by a couple bullets showing accomplishments works VERY well.

Use tables. Your name, number, and e-mail at the top could be spaced out better with the use of a table. Same goes for your Title, Company Name, and Dates, for your experiences.

I think I'd probably take that Letter of Appreciation from DISA off of your "Qualifications"... probably not something that belongs on a resume.

One other thing you may want to do is spell out some of these acronyms the 1st time they are used, with the acronym in parenthesis next to it.. Subsequent uses can be acronym only,They're OK as-is if you're ONLY going to apply to DoD contracts, but for anyone looking at this resume without a US DoD background, they're going to have no idea what a DISA FSO is, etc.

higherho

Thank you all for the great advice. I greatly appreciate everyone's advice and help. I consider everyone on this forum professionals and I'm proud to be a member of TE

@Everyone

very great points and I've made some more modifications. The Margin 0.5 really helped out too (on space, etc). Once completed I will re upload.