Job and Car, drive coworker on my way home?

baseball1988

Hi there,

As you may already know, I started my job about 4 months ago and I passed my probation. This month I purchased a car to get to work. Hoping to reduce the bus travel time from 1 hour 30 mins to 45 mins. I'm still a fairly new driver - I got my license since 2010 but I didn't really drive for 1 year. Now, I'm back in the driving mode to head to work.

My colleague knows that I just bought a car. It appears like he wants me to drive him ONLY heading home since we usually take the same route. I honestly don't want to have any passengers with me for various reasons: 1) i'm still a new driver 2) i'm not experienced enough to drop people off at random streets (it sounds very easy but my feeling tells me that i don't want any passengers with me) and 3) appears like a hassle when i can drive straight home than to drive into a driveway...drop off...then back into the roads.

I'm still in the process of learning how to drive to work and i will be driving on certain roads. I will be driving on specific lanes to drive home safely. I would have to drive in the right lane to drop my colleague off (and i hate that lane since there are too many bicycles) and stuff. And there isn't a drop off area unless i put my emergency lights on or if there is a red light.

I know this may sound heartless but i don't know how to tell my coworker this.

CodeBlox

I would just tell him no. You're not responsible for him. Is he going to pay for gas?

jenbot

Why don't you try telling him what you just told us. I would almost say preface what you are saying by warning him that what you are about to say will come off neurotic, but then I saw you live in NYC. I imagine being a beginner driver there is quite stressful. I imagine driving there in general is quite stressful (and expensive!) even if you are comfortable behind the wheel. If the reasons you listed are the real reasons (and not something like: you don't like him, you think he might try to use this as an opportunity to get you to bring him on errands, he smells funny and you don't want him to stink up your new car, etc, etc....) that you have, maybe suggest that you are not against revisiting the subject in a few months-- after you have had a chance to get more comfortable driving even yourself home. That would let him know that you aren't just blowing him off.

If he can't be understanding of that, then you don't want him in your car anyway. Caving will just put in the position where you are stuck in a very small space with someone who won't respect your need to concentrate on what you are doing. His inability to be understanding will probably manifest into other annoying passenger traits.

If he IS understanding (and it's not because he stinks/sux/always needs just a little bit more of a favor) you might actually appreciate the carpool after you have gotten more comfortable. Gas isn't getting any cheaper, and having someone who pitches in on the cost of the commute can lessen some of the financial burden. Even though my feelings on the subject aren't particularly strong, As an Austinite I feel morally obligated to point out the negative effects of smog on the environment and how carpooling is an excellent way to reduce the amount of cars on the road-- and now my moral obligation has been met hehe.

I would like to point out that reasonable financial compensation is non-negotiable......even in the most polite of circles lol. You are his colleague-- not his girlfriend/wife/partner, not his besty, and not his mom. Just like everyone else, he needs to (and has up to this point) be responsible for paying for commuting costs. And, unless you are happy to do so, financial compensation does not mean you owe a ride to the grocery store/his dealer's house/to pick up his kid from school.

Well, hope this was helpful

healthyboy

system engineer


i drive a ferrari








































well i wish

erpadmin

Please, do not ever drive to Jersey. Ever. And if you do, please download our Driving Manual from the NJ MVC before you cross that bridge/tunnel and learn that you NEVER hug the left lane like you would in NY....EVER! You will probably get murdered by motorists wanting to pass slower traffic because our left lanes on the highway are used for passing...something that seems to be unfamiliar in NYC (which is why I never drive to the City unless I'm going to one of the lesser boroughs....)

Now that I'm done with that rant...just tell your buddy no for exactly why you told us and explain to him why. If he is insistent, tell him the only way you'll do it is if he fills up your tank every month and with him giving you gas money upfront. Gas for you is probably ~$50 a fill up (maybe $55). That would probably get him to say never mind.

Asif Dasl

Some people are parasites/toxic and you just have to deal with them as best you can. Sometimes it can benefit you to deal with them (even though you may not like to), but if there are more negatives than positive then you are better to drop them. I'm not saying your co-worker is definitely a parasite but sometimes people who ask a favor, ask too often and then things can turn toxic. But in saying that the vast majority of people are cool and there are no problems.

You could always trial it for a week and do some Car Opera - have some fun with it! I'd give it a day, 2 max, if you manage to get to travel more than a few miles doing this!

Asif Dasl

healthyboy wrote: »

system engineer


i drive a ferrari



well i wish

Not to go off-topic too much but you do know rich people are more likely to drive something more prudent & simple? Conan O'Brien drove a '92 Ford Taurus even when he was hosting Late Night. Some people don't care to keep up with the joneses.

erpadmin

Asif Dasl wrote: »

Not to go off-topic too much but you do know rich people are more likely to drive something more prudent & simple? Conan O'Brien drove a '92 Ford Taurus even when he was hosting Late Night. Some people don't care to keep up with the joneses.

No, you are right. "Old Money" tend to do that. They may have a beater (or rather, a nice car that's a beater to them) but take that Aston Martin out when they're going to a fancy function. "New Money" or "Nouveau Rich" would just buy and Aston Martin and treat it like a regular car, (which would then become an expensive beater).

hackman2007

As others have mentioned, just say no. It is your car, don't let other people control you.

Raidersfan81

Tell them your mom said you cant give anybody rides.

instant000

baseball1988 wrote: »

Hi there,

As you may already know, I started my job about 4 months ago and I passed my probation. This month I purchased a car to get to work. Hoping to reduce the bus travel time from 1 hour 30 mins to 45 mins. I'm still a fairly new driver - I got my license since 2010 but I didn't really drive for 1 year. Now, I'm back in the driving mode to head to work.

My colleague knows that I just bought a car. It appears like he wants me to drive him ONLY heading home since we usually take the same route. I honestly don't want to have any passengers with me for various reasons: 1) i'm still a new driver 2) i'm not experienced enough to drop people off at random streets (it sounds very easy but my feeling tells me that i don't want any passengers with me) and 3) appears like a hassle when i can drive straight home than to drive into a driveway...drop off...then back into the roads.

I'm still in the process of learning how to drive to work and i will be driving on certain roads. I will be driving on specific lanes to drive home safely. I would have to drive in the right lane to drop my colleague off (and i hate that lane since there are too many bicycles) and stuff. And there isn't a drop off area unless i put my emergency lights on or if there is a red light.

I know this may sound heartless but i don't know how to tell my coworker this.

It's GREATER than gas costs. The reason for getting the car was TIME. The person asking probably wants a shorter commute, too, but at the same time, by taking on the other passenger, you're lengthening your own commute, which sort of defeats the purpose of getting the car, if the commute with the car isn't that much better, once you include dropping off someone else into it.

It's kinda sad, but I wouldn't let him ride with me unless he agreed to get dropped off when I parked the car in my own driveway!

I do not like driving, so any additional time on the road is a huge bother to me.

Texas drivers are bad in so many ways:
1. don't signal or signal after they have already started turning
2., change multiple lanes at once,
3. pass you immediately before taking an exit,
4. get into the far left lane when they're getting off at the very next exit in the far right lane,
5. drive in the left lane when they are not passing and at 5-10 mph below the speed limit,
6. exceed the speed limit by 15 mph,
7. pass you then slow down to 5-10 mph under the speed limit
8. pass you without getting proper clearance,
9. change lanes without regard to how everyone has to slam on their brakes to let them in,
10. do not yield the right of way at 4-way stops
11. do not allow you to merge onto the highway
12. slow down excessively to rubberneck accidents
13. drive like snails whenever it rains
14. run red lights
15. slam on brakes when approaching intersection
16. become your wingman (AKA, drive in your blind spot)
17. drive beside you at the exact same speed
18. turn into your lane without looking first
19. looking down to text while swerving into your lane on a 2-way road
20. texting while the stop light has turned green
21. getting upset with you because you did not run the red light (so that they could run it behind you)
22. swerve in and out of traffic
23. tailgate (follow too closely)

I'm seeing most of this list almost every single time I get on the road here.

I went to NYC one time. (It was back in 1994. We took a cab everywhere, which was expensive, and we noted how often we saw cars dinged up, and how aggressively the people drived, and how packed the roads were.) Anyway, if I was in that area, I'd probably use public transit, not the best of places to be starting out driving.

BradleyHU

hold on...where are you driving to & from? i'm assuming you're not in manhattan, cuz thats just crazy if you're driving to & from work in manhattan...it would be faster on the train than driving on a weekday during working hours there....

SteveLord

erpadmin wrote: »

Please, do not ever drive to Jersey. Ever. And if you do, please download our Driving Manual from the NJ MVC before you cross that bridge/tunnel and learn that you NEVER hug the left lane like you would in NY....EVER! You will probably get murdered by motorists wanting to pass slower traffic because our left lanes on the highway are used for passing...something that seems to be unfamiliar in NYC (which is why I never drive to the City unless I'm going to one of the lesser boroughs....)

I avoided driving in NJ for a few months. And when I did, it was just in Bergen county. Jersey City area (especially Tunnele Ave circle of death under the Pulaski skyway) and then I avoided driving in NYC whenever I could. Now I own the streets back in Iowa due to my experiences with terror there. Having my insurance cut in half was nice too.

erpadmin

SteveLord wrote: »

I avoided driving in NJ for a few months. And when I did, it was just in Bergen county. Jersey City area (especially Tunnele Ave circle of death under the Pulaski skyway) and then I avoided driving in NYC whenever I could. Now I own the streets back in Iowa due to my experiences with terror there. Having my insurance cut in half was nice too.

That circle of death got fixed, believe it or not. If you're talking about that strecth of 440 where you have to get on to 1&9, you now must go straight now...they built a new ramp and you can't make that turn anymore. You have to go straight and then make a left to stay on 1&9 north to continue into Bergen County or get to Route 3, or make a right after that straight to get on 280 or Route 7.

It's better now.