Critique my resume

Hi all,

I was just working on my resume and thought maybe I could post it here to get some feedback and advice on what areas to improve. It is the first resume I have ever written and from what I can tell, my technical proficiencies area looks like a jumbled mess, but not sure how to better organize...I would appreciate any help! Thanks!

Network Administrator

Accomplished IT professional with demonstrated knowledge and success in network administration and hardware/software troubleshooting. Five years military experience has provided me with the necessary qualities desired by an employer such as reliability, punctuality, self-motivation and a strong work ethic. Able to adapt to situations and isolate problems and identify the root cause quickly. As a savvy technician and motivated self-starter, I have the proven ability to motivate teams and maximize productivity.

Areas of Strength

- Strong oral and written communications skills
- Proven network planning and implementation
- Proven disaster recovery planning and implementation
- Detailed documentation of assigned tasks
- Training end-users and providing support

Technical Proficiencies
Operating Systems: Windows 2000/XP/7/Server 2003, Cisco IOS

Networking: Strong knowledge of the OSI Model, TCP/IP, SSH, DNS, DHCP, NAT, WINS, IMAP4, SMTP, TELNET, RIP, OSPF, EIGRP, VTP, VPN, PGP etc.

Hardware: Cisco 2600 series routers, Cisco 2900 series switches, Alcatel switches, IBM and HP servers, SCSI, network and video cards as well as other internal computer components, scanners, printers and other peripheral devices. Other hardware includes Controlled Cryptographic Equipment such as KG-175/D Taclane, KG-84A/C, KIV-7, USC-43, etc.

Software: Microsoft Exchange Server 2003, MS IIS Server, VM ESX Server, VSphere, Remote Desktop, McAfee anti-virus, McAfee EPO Server, HBSS, HIPS, IPS/IDS, ASA/PIX Firewalls, MS Office Suite, MS SharePoint, Acrobat

Professional Experience
United States Navy - Information Systems Technician (2009-2014)

Duties:

Responsible for maintaining a LAN providing IP, e-mail and all other networking services to over 350 users on a daily basis.
Enforced IT policies which defined acceptable use of the organizations’ network.
As Host-Based Security System (HBSS) Administrator, I maintained the system and ran daily scans to identify security risks and workstation compliance allowing me to monitor, detect and counter cyber-threats within our organization.
Re-designed subnets within the organization to minimize wasted IP addresses and plan for future growth.
Provided VTC support for high-ranking military officials.
Operated and coordinated telecommunications systems including automated networks and a full spectrum of data links, circuits and other transmission media.
Introduced the accepted method used for all users within the organization to submit trouble tickets, utilizing Microsoft SharePoint.

Education & Credentials
Associate of Science in Computer Networking: Cisco (2012)
Coastline Community College - Fountain Valley, CA

Bachelors of Information Technology – Security (In Progress)
Western Governors University – Salt Lake City, UT

Current Certifications
- CompTIA Security + ce
- MCTS: Windows 7, Configuration
- MCSA on Windows Server 2003
- CCNA
- CCNA: Security

Recognized for trustworthiness, reliability and integrity as evidenced by the awarding of a Department of Defense Top Secret security clearance based upon a thorough background investigation.

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Comments

SecurityThroughObscurity

I would split Networking into groups like Network protocols, routing protocols (IGP, EGP) and switching (), network security (VPN, ASA, IPS/IDS, PKI), voice and so on.

ptilsen

Please post a Word or PDF as it gives us more room to critique the formatting.

I like the summary, but the last sentence being in the first person is a problem. It is the only instance of the resume of a full first-person sentence. "Savvy technician and motivated self-starter with the proven ability to motivate teams and maximize productivity." would de-first-personize it, to coin a term.

The technical proficiency listings can be nice, but I've come to favor an experience-heavy model. At the end of the day listing a protocol, piece of software, or hardware as a skill or proficiency is both unproven and meaningless. I prefer to see some technical highlights in the summary and in the experience section. That being said, if you can't expand the experience section it is okay to leave the skills section intact.

On that note, with 5+ years of experience, I would advise having a huge experience section, but with a slightly different format.

Professional Experience
United States Navy - Information Systems Technician (2009-2014)
[two to three sentences providing a brief overview of responsibilities]
*Bullet about a major project or accomplishment
*Another bullet
*Several more bullets

You've already pretty much got the right idea with your bullets. You could even just take the first two bullets as the duty summary, then leave the rest. What I would like to see is bullets or job description language that ties in what you have listed under Technical Proficiencies. Show more of how you used various technologies, rather than just claiming proficiency. When you demonstrate that you've actually used them in a production setting and in a meaningful way, that shows a lot of value to the employer.

NavyIT

Awesome advice ptilsen! I'll try and make some changes and then post it again as a word document so everyone can see the formatting better. Thank you for a detailed post!

prtech

Do not use "etc." on a resume.