Declining a counter offer?

IlovetacosIlovetacos Registered Users Posts: 4 ■□□□□□□□□□
I'm back again - my background & reference checks all cleared, and I tried to give my boss notice yesterday, but he asked that I let him at least try to see what he could do.

He came back today matching the salary fully, and offering new roles & responsibilities that are an improvement from what I'm currently doing, but not as exciting as the new position.

I really do like my boss, but there's no way I want to pass up this new opportunity. I've been looking for some samples of ways to decline a counter offer, but what's online is kind of nill.

So, he didn't keep my original resignation letter. Should I turn that in again, or present a new one that specifically mentions the counter offer? Really kind of at a loss... I've never been in a situation where an employer has tried to retain me after a resignation, and I really don't want to burn any bridges.

Also a confession - this is an pseudonym. I'd rather not have my regular ID associated with these questions in case any co-workers read this.

And now that I've got that off my chest, another confess - I honestly merely like tacos. I usually order burritos when I go to a Mexican restaurant, or if I really want to mix it up, juevos rancheros.

Comments

  • EssendonEssendon Member Posts: 4,546 ■■■■■■■■■■
    Never EVER entertain a counter offer. Your boss knows you'll leave when the next opportunity presents itself and whats the guarantee you'll actually have new responsibilities.

    Decline politely and leave.
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  • petedudepetedude Member Posts: 1,510
    Ilovetacos wrote: »
    juevos rancheros.

    That's huevos rancheros, sir-- get it right. :D
    Ilovetacos wrote: »
    I really do like my boss, but there's no way I want to pass up this new opportunity.

    You've just answered your own question. Decline politely, and wrap up.
    Ilovetacos wrote: »
    So, he didn't keep my original resignation letter.

    Turn it in again, this time to HR. Explain (politely) that it appears your boss misplaced your letter, and state that as much as you appreciate the counter it's in your best interest to move on.
    Ilovetacos wrote: »
    Also a confession - this is an pseudonym. I'd rather not have my regular ID associated with these questions in case any co-workers read this.

    Like how many people on here are posting with their real names?
    Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
    --Will Rogers
  • Mike-MikeMike-Mike Member Posts: 1,860
    Ilovetacos wrote: »

    And now that I've got that off my chest, another confess - I honestly merely like tacos. I usually order burritos when I go to a Mexican restaurant, or if I really want to mix it up, juevos rancheros.

    this cracked me up
    Currently Working On

    CWTS, then WireShark
  • dave330idave330i Member Posts: 2,091 ■■■■■■■■■■
    Tell your current boss that you've enjoyed working for him and appreciate the counter offer, but you believe you'll have a better career path with new employment and ultimately you must do what's best for your career.
    2018 Certification Goals: Maybe VMware Sales Cert
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  • pinkydapimppinkydapimp Member Posts: 732 ■■■■■□□□□□
    dave330i wrote: »
    Tell your current boss that you've enjoyed working for him and appreciate the counter offer, but you believe you'll have a better career path with new employment and ultimately you must do what's best for your career.

    This. Also, do it over the phone then follow it up with a written letter.
  • TomAtkinsTomAtkins Member Posts: 15 ■□□□□□□□□□
    Essendon wrote: »
    Never EVER entertain a counter offer. Your boss knows you'll leave when the next opportunity presents itself and whats the guarantee you'll actually have new responsibilities.

    Decline politely and leave.

    This is not always true, if your a good employee, it would be appropriate for them to make a counteroffer to keep you. I've found this the case with a number of fortune 500 companies I've worked for.

    Keep in mind the grass isn't always greener.
  • nethackernethacker Member Posts: 184 ■■■□□□□□□□
    TomAtkins wrote: »
    This is not always true, if your a good employee, it would be appropriate for them to make a counteroffer to keep you. I've found this the case with a number of fortune 500 companies I've worked for.
    Keep in mind the grass isn't always greener.

    You are right but keep in mid that when downsizing comes, you'll be among the first to go
    JNCIE | CCIE | GCED
  • ZartanasaurusZartanasaurus Member Posts: 2,008 ■■■■■■■■■□
    The fact that you accepted an offer to work elsewhere proves that you didn't want to work where you are now and it likely wasn't just about money. Keep moving on and don't look back.
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  • cbolarcbolar Member Posts: 34 ■■□□□□□□□□
    i'd say decline it. If you were currently working for my business I would most likely pay you what I owe you and send you on your way. Not because you're a bad person, but because a business may never know what you're taking with you. Make sure you use good judgement about it though, common sense will go a long way.
  • jibbajabbajibbajabba Member Posts: 4,317 ■■■■■■■■□□
    I made it my rule to not accept counter offers. You decided to leave for specific reasons and if you stay because he matches the salary for example you will likely end up regretting it.

    Plus, consider your salary too.

    In your new job you start with the new higher salary. Chances to get a raise are a lot higher.

    The fact that you didn't get the money from your current employer without resigning shows that they didn't really wanted to pay for it. That likely means that the chances of a raise are somewhat limited as they likely think you already earn more than you should.

    That is my experience anyway. Since then I usually decline counteroffers unless it is an offer I could not refuse, which matching - isn't.
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  • powerfoolpowerfool Member Posts: 1,670 ■■■■■■■■□□
    I would say that it is safe enough to treat the NEVER entertain a counter offer as gospel... there is significant risk in accepting it. Just because you and your boss are on good terms, you have no idea how pervasive the information has spread among upper management and their true feelings about it.

    I accepted a counter offer once because I was ONLY leaving for money (20% difference in pay), I didn't really even like the opportunity. They matched and my boss was the one working the angle. Within two months, he was fired. So, at that point everything was a toss up. I ended up staying on for two more years, but there were turbulent situations and I was ultimately let go, but so was everyone else on the team.

    If you have any concerns about a current job, gracefully attempt to address them before ever handing in a resignation.
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  • blargoeblargoe Member Posts: 4,174 ■■■■■■■■■□
    Just say no. Thank him for the opportunity.
    IT guy since 12/00

    Recent: 11/2019 - RHCSA (RHEL 7); 2/2019 - Updated VCP to 6.5 (just a few days before VMware discontinued the re-cert policy...)
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  • Apollo80Apollo80 Member Posts: 24 ■□□□□□□□□□
    This may be hind-sight advise at this point, but always try to rectify any problems at your current employment before moving on. If the company cannot or will not address your needs, then start looking into a new opportunity that does address them. Once that is found, then hand in your resignation. Do not accept a counter since you already voiced your concerns with the company. The company showing willingness to address them after you submit your resignation is an insult, IMO. And do not burn bridges. It's a small (relatively) IT world out there.
  • DevilryDevilry Member Posts: 668
    I don't really buy into the rejecting a counter offer from a current employer type of gig. The last employer I had did it with me 4 times in 3 years. My current employer already did it in the first 9 months and does it with nearly every employee on our staff, my current employer is even wanting me to move into management. So don't listen to generalization that all employers are going to mistreat you after that.

    HOWEVER, that being said: I consider it a drastic slap in the face if you go out and get another job and put in your resignation and all they do is match it. At that point, as far as I am concerned I have left, they now need to 're-hire' me with a jump over my new current employer. This may or may not be the best way to look at it, but its just my personal preference.
  • shednikshednik Member Posts: 2,005
    At this point of where you are if you think the new job is a positive move for your career and it wasn't just money, thank him and politely decline.

    In the future if you are at a point where you really like you are, but you have a new offer elsewhere...I think it would be better to talk to your boss and take a different approach. Rather than flat out resign talk to your boss about how you feel about your job, let him know you don't want to leave, but the offer that was given to you is very difficult to turn down for your situation. Going at it that way is a much more positive method to giving yourself options as to which path to take. I know some will disagree with this but in my experience in small, medium, and large businesses this has been a positive approach when I did and when I've seen others do it.
  • About7NarwhalAbout7Narwhal Member Posts: 761
    Personally, I would decline by being kind and informing him that the new opportunity is more in line with your career goals. I just recently went through the same thing myself. I liked my boss and my co-workers and even my job. But it wasn't what I wanted to do. Simply let him know that this is a career opportunity and he was very receptive and helpful. Encourage him and the team you are leaving by letting them know you are thankful for the opportunity they have provided you.

    I had to think long and hard when I was counter offered before I realized that it had nothing to do with pay or personal feelings towards the staff. It has to do with me making a choice to advance myself and my career. Any good boss will be receptive to that logic and most will support you once you have made your decision.

    Another way to look at this is like so: Why are you suddenly more capable of more responsibility and worth more pay? If they had wanted to keep you, they should have considered providing the perks earlier. Either way you look at it, be sure to thank them for their time and be polite. You never know when you might run into that person again.
  • IlovetacosIlovetacos Registered Users Posts: 4 ■□□□□□□□□□
    I voiced some of my issues with my boss previously. One example - I wasn't working with VMware as much as I'd like, and that I did more with it in my (lower tier) previous position. His response was that at that tier, I was the only one that really knew it well, but at this tier, other guys are familiar with it (not true, almost all of them defer to me as being more knowledgeable) and as such I don't get to touch it was much. That was just 2 weeks ago. Now, they're telling me about all these great things they're going to be doing with VMware, and that I'm a key part of their plan. There wasn't a hint of that two weeks - not even a "But hang on, we've got some cool stuff coming that you'll be interested in".

    Other issues are more widespread through the organization, and not limited to my department, and I have voiced concerns over them before, and it's gone nowhere. As long as money's rolling in and we're profitable, nobody cares about doing things right, following our own written policies, managing customer expectations properly, or any of that stuff.

    Who knows, maybe I might be making a move from bad to worse, but at this point, I'm unfulfilled, unhappy, and ultimately don't have faith in this organization.
  • ChitownjediChitownjedi Member Posts: 578 ■■■■■□□□□□
    Ilovetacos wrote: »
    I voiced some of my issues with my boss previously. One example - I wasn't working with VMware as much as I'd like, and that I did more with it in my (lower tier) previous position. His response was that at that tier, I was the only one that really knew it well, but at this tier, other guys are familiar with it (not true, almost all of them defer to me as being more knowledgeable) and as such I don't get to touch it was much. That was just 2 weeks ago. Now, they're telling me about all these great things they're going to be doing with VMware, and that I'm a key part of their plan. There wasn't a hint of that two weeks - not even a "But hang on, we've got some cool stuff coming that you'll be interested in".

    Other issues are more widespread through the organization, and not limited to my department, and I have voiced concerns over them before, and it's gone nowhere. As long as money's rolling in and we're profitable, nobody cares about doing things right, following our own written policies, managing customer expectations properly, or any of that stuff.

    Who knows, maybe I might be making a move from bad to worse, but at this point, I'm unfulfilled, unhappy, and ultimately don't have faith in this organization.

    Hell, you had me at tacos.... you had me at tacos!

    My last position, even though it paid more, left me with little faith and not much fulfillment so I decided to take less money and work with a friend to get some Windows 7 migration experience. While it seems a lot of places tend not to follow their own written policies and security documentation, at least with this position my comfort level with the people I am around is night and day... and I do not regret it one bit. Now, however, instead of supporting just myself, I have an expanding family, so compensation and benefits are becoming (hmm, became) a necessity, but I learned a long time ago, your attitude about a place can be the biggest factor to your satisfaction there, regardless of the actual "day to day technical sanity" of the environment. In which case, if you have a chance, do what's best for you and your mind.

    Hopefully this is a great leap forward in more ways then one. But I'm sure the more you believe that going in, the more you will frame it to be literally once you are there.
  • networkjutsunetworkjutsu Member Posts: 275 ■■■□□□□□□□
    Let me apologize right now for a long post but I thought I'd share this. I found this somewhere and unfortunately I forgot where but it talks about what other people already mentioned here.
    You've been approached by another company, and offered a position that should allow a good career growth opportunity, and a moderate increase in compensation. You've analyzed, if not agonized over, the decision to leave a good (or bad) job for what could be a better one, and have accepted, or decided to accept, the new position. However, upon tendering your resignation, your current boss asks you to stay. This appeal is known as a counter-offer, or buy back.
    In recent years, it seems to be the norm, and almost the expected course of action. "It's almost like a part of the accepted divorce proceedings, and allows the boss to save face with his boss," explained one departing executive. "And it sometimes has to take its course."

    But take care not to fall into the trap, or be blind-sided to your own detriment. You should understand what's about to be cast upon you.

    Counter-offers are typically made in conjunction with some form of flattery.-You're too valuable, and we need you.-You can't desert the team/your friends and leave them hanging (guilt trip).-We were just about to promote/raise you, and it was confidential 'till now!-What did they offer, why were you leaving, and what do you need to stay?-Why would you want to work for that company?-The President wants to meet with you before you make your final decision.

    Counters usually take the form of:1. More money2. Promotion/more responsibility3. Modified reporting structure4. Promises of above or future considerations5. Disparaging remarks about the new company or job, and/or6. Guilt trips

    These tempting gestures inevitably create confusion and buyer's remorse. Career changes are tough enough as it is....leaving a comfortable job, friends, location, etc. for an unknown and challenging opportunity in which one must reprove oneself. These anxieties frequently cloud the best of logic. But just because the new position is a little scary, does not mean it's not a positive move. It is just usually more comfortable to stay.

    Of course, we all prefer to think that we are MVP's, and want to believe these manipulative gestures, but beware! Accepting a counter-offer or appeal to stay is the wrong choice to make.

    Think about it. If you were worth "X" yesterday, why are they suddenly willing to pay you "X + Y" today, when you were not expecting a raise for some time? Further, reflect on how you felt when someone resigned from your staff.

    The reality is that bosses/companies do not like to be fired. Your boss is likely most concerned that she/he may look bad, and that this could jeopardize his/her career. S/he is judged by the ability to retain staff. When a contributor quits, morale suffers. Further, your leaving might jeopardize an important project, cause a greater workload, or foul up a vacation schedule. It's never a good time for someone to quit, and it may prove very time consuming and costly to replace you, especially considering search and relocation expenses. It is much cheaper to keep you even at a slightly higher salary. And, it would be better to fire you later, on the company's time frame.

    "We have made counter offers on occasion, if a good person approaches the issue professionally," states a former senior partner of a Big-6 accounting/consulting firm. "But usually it was a stop-gap measure because we couldn't afford a defection at that point in time. We did not count on those people long term, and usually they'd burned bridges two or three levels up, if not with their immediate manager. It definitely put them in a career holding pattern." He went on to recall a long conference between himself, his boss, and two subordinate managers, in which a counter offer/raise to a person two levels down was approved. "Immediately after that meeting, my boss called me, and said, 'We can't afford to lose him now, but our number one priority is to find a replacement, ASAP!' And, we replaced him within a few months."

    Another senior executive from a major financial service organization shared the following opinions, "If it's a real 'hitter', I'll try to get him to stay. But to be honest, any additional compensation is 'stealing' from his future earnings, and I'll always question his convictions, knowing he can be bought. Further, I'll wonder if I can really count on him (which equates to limited future opportunities). In other words, the damage is done."

    While your employer may truly consider you an asset, and may genuinely care about you personally, you can be sure that your interests are secondary to your boss's career, and your company's profit or survival. In other words, flattering offers and comments are attempts to manipulate you to do something that is in your employer's best interests, and not necessarily yours. It's not about you.

    The negative ramifications to accepting a counter-offer are numerous:-Where did the money or responsibility come from?-Was it your next raise - just early?-Will you be limited in the future?-Will you have to threaten to quit to get your next raise, or might your (cheaper) replacement be sought out ASAP?

    One client executive who preferred to remain unnamed, commented that "90% of the time, accepting a counter-offer is the wrong thing to do. And, if the business is so dependent on one person, it's a weak business."

    You've demonstrated your unhappiness, or your lack of blind loyalty, and will be perceived as having committed blackmail to gain a raise. You'll not be considered a team player again. Many employers will hold a grudge at the next review period, and you may be at the top of the next Reduction-in-Force "hit list". "Like an adulterous affair that has been discovered, the broken trust is never fully recovered," stated one client that requested anonymity.

    Apart from a short-term band-aid treatment, nothing changes with the company. After the dust settles from this upheaval, you'll be in the same old rut. In fact, statistics indicate that more than 80% of those accepting counter-offers leave, or are terminated, within 6-12 months anyway. In our search practice, although counter-offer acceptances are discouraged, 50% of those who did succumb had re-initiated their job search within 90 days. In fact, one candidate called us back in 5 days!

    One executive candidate told us "It was exactly like you said it would be...they butter you up, give you more money, but nothing really changes. In fact, they can get worse." He went on to say "My immediate boss was really agitated, since his boss interceded. At raise time he told me that none had been budgeted (since I'd already gotten a raise), and that if I wanted, I could negotiate with the President as before." This gentleman, by the way, left the company within months.

    Attempted buy-backs demonstrate disrespect for your well-thought-out decision, and your commitment to the new company. Should your current employer decide to eliminate your position, or skip you for promotion, just try to counter and change their minds. Fat chance! You've analyzed, accepted, and committed to the new company, which has surely made plans and accommodations around you, and is counting on you. Don't sell out, or back out. Stand by your word. Everyone will respect your decision and integrity, and if the previous employer was sincere about your value, they'll likely make a spot for you in the future.

    Look at the two opportunities, your old job and the new position, as if you were unemployed. Which holds the most real potential? Probably the new one, or you'd not have accepted it in the first place.

    Two things are certain . . .(1) You can normally expect a counter-offer, and(2) you should hold a steady course from the beginning, and stick with your decision to move on to a bigger and better future.

    R. Gaines Baty is President of R. Gaines Baty Associates, Inc.

    Most top executives agree that the days of the gold watch for 30 years of faithful service are gone. In fact, experience at several different companies over a long period of time is considered an asset that brings a variety of experience and perspectives to a new job. Today, changing jobs is a routine part of every growing professional career.

    You are probably considering a change because your present position doesn't offer the growth environment you need. Nevertheless, your company has helped you progress professionally, and as a result, you may feel a bit uncomfortable resigning. After all, leaving a job means leaving many managers and coworkers whom you see socially, and who have been instrumental in advancing your career.

    What, then, should you expect when you tender your resignation? Undoubtedly, your company will be sorry to lose you. After all, you have contributed to their sales and profits and are probably involved in several projects drawing on your unique talents. If you were in your boss' position, what would you be inclined to do when a valuable employee resigned?

    The Counter Offer - It is natural instinct to resist change and avoid disruption, and your present employer will be no exception. If you're doing a good job, he will want to keep you and will attempt to do so with a counter offer. Even though you have accepted a new job elsewhere, he will try to convince you that you have made a mistake.

    Counter offers can be made in a variety of ways:1. We have plans for you that have been scheduled for implementation the first of next month. I guess it's my fault for not telling you.2. I want to let you in on some confidential information. There is a reorganization developing that will mean a significant promotion for you within six months.3. We'll match your new offer. This raise was supposed to go into effect the first of next quarter anyway, but because of your fine record, we'll start it on the first of the month.4. The President and Vice President want to have dinner with you tonight before your final decisions.

    The Implications Of A Counter Offer - A counter offer can be very flattering, sometimes causing your emotions to obscure your objective decision to leave your present employer. There is also the natural feeling of "buyer's remorse", that vague apprehension of change that subtly urges you to consider your decision.

    When confronted with a counter offer, ask yourself these questions:1. I made a decision to leave because I felt another environment would better fill my career needs. If I stay, will the situation at my company really improve just because I said I was quitting?2. If I decide to stay, will my loyalty be suspect and affect my chance for advancement in the future?3. If my loyalty is in question, will I be an early layoff when business slows down?4. They are offering me a raise to stay. Is it just my annual review coming early?5. The raise they offered to keep me is above their guidelines for my job. Does that mean they are buying time until they can find my replacement within their regular salary brackets?6. In the final analysis, I got this counter offer because I resigned. Will I have to threaten to quit every time I want to advance with my company in the future?

    The Professional Approach - As a professional, you must make your career decisions objectively, free of the emotional pressures you are likely to feel later when being urged to reconsider. While well meaning friends, relatives and business associates will offer advice, you must depend primarily upon your own judgment. After all, you are the only one who is in the position to understand all of the implications of a counter offer. Expect your company to be sorry to see you leave and to make some attempt to keep you. At best, their response should be considered flattering, but beset with numerous pitfalls you should not risk. End your relationship with your employer as professionally as you began it. Your new company will be anxious to have you start, so you should do so as soon as possible. One week's notice is often adequate, a maximum of two weeks is always sufficient.

    A counter offer is really a belated affirmation of the contribution you have made to your old company. Move ahead to your new job with the goal of making yourself as valuable to your new employer as you were to the old.

    Q. Is There a Downside to Accepting a Counter Offer From My Current Company Once Another Has Made Me an Offer?

    A. By disclosing that you have received an offer from another company you have identified yourself as disloyal. If times get tough and staff cuts must be made in the future employers have long memories regarding perceived slights and disloyalties. Accepting a counter offer threatens career advancement and tenure with your original company.


    TEN REASONS FOR NOT ACCEPTING A COUNTER OFFER

    Deciding to change jobs can be a very stressful situation. Embarking on the interview process can bring new dynamics to that stress level. Once you have made a decision to accept a new opportunity and to move ahead, the pressure and stress start to back off. If you allow yourself to be put into a counter offer situation, the pressure and stress rushes back into your life ten-fold, making your business and personal life extremely uncomfortable. All the reasons below are quite valid but with the emotional turbulence job change can bring about, we can often get sidetracked from the real reasons for our desire to change. One should be aware that in today's market, counter offers are quite common and individuals who are serious about making career moves should be prepared to deal with it head on and early on.

    1. Your company loyalty will be in question.
    2. When there is downsizing, you'll probably be one of the first to go.
    3. Companies often have wage guidelines, is this raise coming out of your next pay raise?
    4. Do you actually want to work for a company where you have to resign to get what your worth in the marketplace?
    5. You should expect your company to be on the lookout for your replacement at a lower salary/rate.
    6. Statistics show people usually leave within six months or are let go within a year upon acceptance of a counter offer.
    7. Often your relationship with co-workers changes for the worse.
    8. Your loyalty will always be in question with your employer.
    9. Actually a counter offer is an insult. They believe you can be bought and also be manipulated.
    10. If you accept a counter offer, the reason you wanted to leave will either repeat itself or will still exist.
  • bryguybryguy Member Posts: 190
    Good thread... Several years ago at my first IT job working as a supervisor on a help desk for a small IT company, I was approached by a large IT recruiting agency. They performed an over the phone interview, with me, and then there were two more additional interviews before I was hired. After I was hired, I presented my letter of resignation. The following day, management approached me, and made a counter offer. I accepted... Arriving, to work the following Monday, they said they had decided to rescind the counter offer. Fortunately, I hadn't said anything to the company that hired me about the counter offer. If I had, I would have been left in the cold without a job with a wife and two newborns. Stupid nievety on my part. What followed after that could have come right out of the movie, "The Firm" ... but I think I'll save that post for another thread.
  • pinkydapimppinkydapimp Member Posts: 732 ■■■■■□□□□□
    bryguy wrote: »
    Good thread... Several years ago at my first IT job working as a supervisor on a help desk for a small IT company, I was approached by a large IT recruiting agency. They performed an over the phone interview, with me, and then there were two more additional interviews before I was hired. After I was hired, I presented my letter of resignation. The following day, management approached me, and made a counter offer. I accepted... Arriving, to work the following Monday, they said they had decided to rescind the counter offer. Fortunately, I hadn't said anything to the company that hired me about the counter offer. If I had, I would have been left in the cold without a job with a wife and two newborns. Stupid nievety on my part. What followed after that could have come right out of the movie, "The Firm" ... but I think I'll save that post for another thread.
    Link? :GrabsPopcorn:
  • cisco_troopercisco_trooper Member Posts: 1,441 ■■■■□□□□□□
    Do NOT accept a counter offer. Ever. When I quit my last job I told them specifically to not even bother insulting me with one and that I can't be bought.
  • kurosaki00kurosaki00 Member Posts: 973
    [QUOTE=Ilovetacos;698191And now that I've got that off my chest, another confess - I honestly merely like tacos. I usually order burritos when I go to a Mexican restaurant, or if I really want to mix it up, juevos rancheros.[/QUOTE]

    LOL
    this has to be one of the funniest thing Ive read in all week


    Regarding the counter offer
    At least to my eyes thats kind of insulting
    For me It means they could have given you all that before but didnt
    and now that Youre leaving they step up
    meh
  • jdancerjdancer Member Posts: 482 ■■■■□□□□□□
    ...A counter offer is really a belated affirmation of the contribution you have made to your old company. Move ahead to your new job with the goal of making yourself as valuable to your new employer as you were to the old....

    This. Tattoo it if you have to.
  • erpadminerpadmin Member Posts: 4,165 ■■■■■■■■■■
    I'm pretty much with the anti-counter offer crowd; same as I've always been.

    One of the the phrases I came across in my grad school readings was something called commitment of irrevocability. Long story short, once you make a commitment to something, for example writing the resignation letter, you have already made up your mind to move on. There is never a good reason to accept a counter because if you were really that valuable, then you would have been given meaningful recognition (i.e. a promotion, a raise, or at the very least a promise of a raise) instead of a bunch of atta-boys, pats on backs, etc. The commitment of irrevocability was written in the context of the employer making an offer to an applicant, but the reverse is also true. Counter offers are never, ever, good other than to show that you were truly appreciated, but in the end, you have to do what is best for your career. Many people (like my parents) don't understand that; those type of folks only care that you are still gainfully employed. (Job-minded, not career-minded) But with risk, comes reward.

    It is always a risk to take a new opportunity; it is an unknown. But after awhile, the risk will be mitigated over time when you grow into your new position.
  • N2ITN2IT Inactive Imported Users Posts: 7,483 ■■■■■■■■■■
    dave330i wrote: »
    Tell your current boss that you've enjoyed working for him and appreciate the counter offer, but you believe you'll have a better career path with new employment and ultimately you must do what's best for your career.

    +1

    I couldn't agree more.
  • f0rgiv3nf0rgiv3n Member Posts: 598 ■■■■□□□□□□
    Pearls, kid. That's what this thread is full of, pearls of wisdom. Ok ok, cheesyness aside... this thread really opened my eyes a bit. I would say that I was part of the 10% that it was a good idea to accept the counter offer at a previous job. I had been there for 2 years and was still considered "help desk"... only I was the ONLY help desk and I had been doing sysadmin stuff as well. I really didn't want to leave but was getting lots of empty promises to move me up to a network engineer role. After getting an offer, my boss was like "let's walk"... We were good friends as well so that was a bit of a different situation I would say. After accepting the counteroffer i was there for 2 more years and left after I had officially outgrew the company (not just my job title).

    After reading this thread I can see how that situation is very rare. The negatives easily outweigh the benefits.

    Also, ERPAdmin... HOLY CRAP! That's insane that they would have the gall to take back what they said. It sure made your decision to move on a lot easier (especially since you still had that other offer sitting there waiting).
  • erpadminerpadmin Member Posts: 4,165 ■■■■■■■■■■
    f0rgiv3n wrote: »
    Also, ERPAdmin... HOLY CRAP! That's insane that they would have the gall to take back what they said. It sure made your decision to move on a lot easier (especially since you still had that other offer sitting there waiting).

    When I wrote that, no one specifically took back anything, nor did I physically write or hand in a resignation letter/made an intention to my employer I'm leaving. The commitment of irrevocability in the context of you, me, or others who are switching to a new position means an intent of accepting the new offer and that one's mind is made up to accept. The reverse is true for the employer who gives you an offer. In my case, I was given a "soft offer" but I had to decline it for a myriad of reasons; an important one being that it was neither best nor final. But that just ties in to not resigning from your current gig before knowing how a new offer will pan out (and it is very possible that it will not pan out in my favor.)

    Accepting a new offer means you did some soul searching before writing a letter. I'm still in the middle of that, if and when that comes. But after that is over, and you write that letter, and then hand that in, the commitment (to your career) has been made.

    To accept a counter-offer which promises little to no growth to one's career is to do it at one's peril.
  • jesseou812jesseou812 Member Posts: 61 ■■■□□□□□□□
    TomAtkins wrote: »
    Keep in mind the grass isn't always greener.

    its-a-trap.jpg
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