Issue/Annoyance from co-worker

Alhaji265

I have an issue with a-somewhat-annoying co-worker, here is the breakdown:

At the break area, I bought breakfast from home, and was eating with two other colleague, including the one I have a issue with. So he notice that I brought food from home and ask "hey why I didn't get him some"? as a joke, and I jokingly responded back to him "cause I didn't" or something like that. And having an African background, he says "you African, don't share" a couple of time and I told him, "that's offensive" to that effect and he says he was playing. He leaves and comes back and I ask him "how come you always get on my case"? and he says "he doesn't and he also get on so-and-so case as well" (the other person sitting there as well.

After that, three weeks ago, I am at my desk listening and watching a IT training video during my downtime, for whatever reason my co-worker decided to call my name after placing my earphones on. I calmly took them off and turned around to see what he wanted. And he had the audacity to say "good morning" with the tone of voice that he was entitled to receive a greeting from me. I sarcastically looked at the time on my monitor and say to him "you waited until 10:13 am to say 'good morning' to me?" And then once again with the nerve of him, he looks at his watch and says "it's 10:12". Since then, I never spoke to him unless if it is regarding about work.

Fast forward to this past Friday, he informed me that the customer I was going to see is not going to be home (job entails traveling to replace users parts), before 11 am and he gives me her alternate contact # and which floor to go to, which both does not state on my call note. I jot down what he says and said "thank you". After everyone in the office receive there parts from the postal carrier and start unpacking them, he hurried and start unpacking right next to me (awkward) and as I was about to get ready to leave, I sense a feeling that he wants to leave together with me at the same time (double awkward). So I go back to my desk and pretend to think I was doing something, and then says to everyone "see you guys on Monday/have a nice weekend everyone" a couple of time because I didn't want acknowledge him.

2-3 minutes after he leaves, I thought the coast was clear and I decided to leave. I press the elevator button to go down and the doors open and guess who happen to be in their by himself? You got it, it was him and I felt disgusted about this and he start asking "so hey which area of the city you got today"? etc. And I just mumble and mumble and then he says have a good and I don't remember replying.

So anyway how can I bring this to his attention instead of HR, team leader and/or off-site manager to him??? I don't want to get to the point where it gets worse. Lastly, I'm a contractor and he is an employee, I hope this helps. Thanks!

Asif Dasl

Saying "You waited until 10:13 am to say 'good morning' to me?" sounds a little aggressive. Maybe he knows you don't like him and you don't hide it very well and he's rubbing it in a little. Or maybe he likes you! wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Either way, give him the time of day and see if it eases up a little.

aaron0011

From reading your post you need to beef up on your people skills.

bhoops

You should remain friendly and professional at all times. As a contractor, you are both a guest, and an example of an elite-level employee. Your co-worker probably doesn't like you, because you probably earn twice what they earn. Just rise above the entire situation. If you go to their HR department, the easy solution for them, will be to not renew your contract.

Chitownjedi

Some people are just off/silly/strange/weird. You deal with them with by being blunt honestly. A lot of times their personality is so big, they don't realize that its the way they communicate is a bit unrefined.

Alhaji265

So how can I approach this situation in a positive assertive way without being aggressive at the workplace?

Alhaji265

Asif Dasl wrote: »

Saying "You waited until 10:13 am to say 'good morning' to me?" sounds a little aggressive. Maybe he knows you don't like him and you don't hide it very well and he's rubbing it in a little. Or maybe he likes you! wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Either way, give him the time of day and see if it eases up a little.

Truthfully speaking, I hope that's not the case.

Danielm7

I feel like there is either more going on here than you're saying or you just don't like the guy so you're being so awkward around him that it's causing some issues. Taken as an unbiased 3rd party here most of what you wrote really isn't an issue at all but you're writing as the other guy is being totally off the wall. Sure, in the first situation if you were really offended, take it to HR. For the other things I'm not sure how a guy saying Good Morning an hour late is horrible, if you feel he said it in a nasty tone maybe it's because you were probably avoiding him and trying not to look at him all day?

Putting yourself in the other guy's shoes, imagine you are in the elevator, the doors open up, someone sees you, acts completely disgusted that you're in his space. Then when you ask about their day they mumble and mumble so you can't hear then then run off once the doors open to get away from you?

Asif Dasl

Alhaji265 wrote: »

Truthfully speaking, I hope that's not the case.

Don't worry my gaydar might be a little off! lol As for being positive in an assertive way - you can't relly say "Get lost" but you can say "Get back to work" in a playful way. It's a little tough because he's being nice to you in ways and you seem not to want anything to do with him but he is a colleague so you are going to have to find a way to deal with him at arms lenght while not coming off cold or rude.

Alhaji265

Danielm7 wrote: »

I feel like there is either more going on here than

I see your point on this one, to some degree, I don't really greet people or talk due to my shyness in the office if that is a relation to what you're saying

Danielm7 wrote: »

you just don't like the guy so you're being so awkward around him that it's causing some issues.

I don't see that I'm awkward around him, I just avoid any interaction with him unless if I have too. There is also another contractor onboard, who doesn't talk to him as well due to his own personal reason.

Danielm7 wrote: »

For the other things I'm not sure how a guy saying Good Morning an hour late is horrible, if you feel he said it in a nasty tone maybe it's because you were probably avoiding him and trying not to look at him all day?

There were times were I'd come in and not say good morning to people out-in-the-open due to my shyness and having a little social anxiety around people and it wasn't a problem. But for some reason, he chose that day to come off like that. Kind of puzzling IMO.

Mike-Mike

The Africans not sharing comment could be taken as offensive, but from the rest of what you wrote I didn't see him doing anything wrong

Xyro

This guy sounds like your run-of-the-mill jerk. Still, you must work with him.

The 1 item of advice that I will give you is to avoid being alone with him as much as is possible.

Try to ignore as much as you can also, keeping in mind that he will end up being your ticket out of there if you don't.

NetworkVeteran

Alhaji265 wrote: »

And he had the audacity to say "good morning" with the tone of voice that he was entitled to receive a greeting from me. I sarcastically looked at the time on my monitor and say to him "you waited until 10:13 am to say 'good morning' to me?" And then once again with the nerve of him, he looks at his watch and says "it's 10:12". Since then, I never spoke to him unless if it is regarding about work.

Before continuing, a simple "Good morning" here would have de-escalated the situation. Perhaps you like drama. ::shrug:: In general a wish of "good morning" begets a "good morning" or other similar politeness in return.

After everyone in the office receive there parts from the postal carrier and start unpacking them, he hurried and start unpacking right next to me (awkward)

Seriously, you worry about someone unpacking parts next to you?

You got it, it was him and I felt disgusted about this.. So anyway how can I bring this to his attention instead of HR, team leader and/or off-site manager to him???

Beyond the break room comment, I think if you were to raise this to HR, they would identify you as the one with the issue. Whether you personally like or dislike his character is irrelevant. You are co-workers and should strive to get along professionally. Try returning polite words with a couple polite words of your own, then move on, and don't give it another thought.

Alhaji265

Thank for the insights all.