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Resume Critique! Urgent!

MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore Member Posts: 16 ■□□□□□□□□□
Hi guys/gals. Do you mind critiquing my resume? I think its a work in progress but I hope I'm on the right path! Please, and thank you :)

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    White WizardWhite Wizard Member Posts: 179
    Not a big fan of bullets, I would summarize your responsibilities for each job.

    4 pages is too much IMO.

    Too much empty space, clean it up, use all the space you can for each page.
    "The secret to happiness is doing what you love. The secret to success is loving what you do."
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    MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore Member Posts: 16 ■□□□□□□□□□
    Thank you. I'll implement these changes and reupload it!

    If not bullets, what do you suggest?

    All others, your input is greatly appreciated too. Don't be shy :D
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    MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore Member Posts: 16 ■□□□□□□□□□
    I just updated the resume in the first post. I cleaned it up a bit. Please have another look :D Thanks again!

    Edit - I should mention I don't have the CCNA. That's why I listed it under continuing education.
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    cyberguyprcyberguypr Mod Posts: 6,928 Mod
    - This needs to be a 2 page resume
    - You should consider a Professional Summary as the first element in the resume
    - Get rid of "letters of recommendations..."
    - Some of the dates have a weird dot separating the month and year. Some have an additional space. Inconsistency shows lack of attention to detail and will get you in trouble
    - Looks like you have two fonts. Make up your mind
    - I hate what I call the bullet fest. The main purpose of bullets is to emphasize key elements. By using them the way you do they lose all meaning and effectiveness. What I always recommend is a paragraph listing duties and responsibilities followed by a few bullets that show key accomplishments from each position. Ideally, those should be concrete and, measurable things that resulting in directly improving the company's bottom line in the form of man-hours or money saved
    - Not to fond of the CCNA without a target date. Show no commitment. Put something realistic on when you expect to complete it
    - Exchange 2008???? - This would cause me immediately thrown your resume in the shredder
    - "Windows Exchange 2007/2008" - you are killing me bro!
    - "Continuously evaluate hardware, services, software, and manage asset, " - do you manage only ONE asset?
    - "Assisted in side projects" - too generic, brings nothing to the table

    Overall, the biggest failure in this resume in the lack of specificity. As a recruiting agent for my company I want to see what specific projects you worked on as those will help me get a glimpse of your expertise. You have to communicate your value as a potential employee. For example
    - what's with the "Planned, designed and implement backup strategy..." thing? Does this mean you are a tape rotation monkey or that you are the data recovery specialist? Are you in charge of backups as well as restores?
    - "Supporting virtualized Hyper-V server cluster" - again, what did you do? reboot VMs? Deploy? The beef is in the details

    As someone who has been involved in hiring, if I don't see up front what you have done and what you can bring to the table that is unique, I will pass on your resume and move on to the next.
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    MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore Member Posts: 16 ■□□□□□□□□□
    Thank you so much. It's been many years since I've done this and I want to get it right. Unfortunately, theirs a job I want to apply to today before its removed at midnight so I have to hurry.

    Quick question - For the backup strategy section, I was specific in the sub-bullet points of what I do daily. Tape rotation is one of them but I also manage the acronis tib backups on every server as well as make sure the file synch and comparisons are functioning. Basically, I do it all. Maybe I should explain it differently? I don't know...I thought it was pretty clear. Guess I'll try to reword it.
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    gbdavidxgbdavidx Member Posts: 840
    how did you update the internet as a system admin?
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    Daniel333Daniel333 Member Posts: 2,077 ■■■■■■□□□□
    hello,

    Please include the job description you are applying for, that's the choke point we need to understand before we can really tell you anything. Secondly tell us why you want this job and why you think it;s a good fit. Resumes tend to flow once you have that on paper.
    -Daniel
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    MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore Member Posts: 16 ■□□□□□□□□□
    Daniel333 wrote: »
    hello,

    Please include the job description you are applying for, that's the choke point we need to understand before we can really tell you anything. Secondly tell us why you want this job and why you think it;s a good fit. Resumes tend to flow once you have that on paper.

    The position is called "Technical Systems Analyst". Here is the job description below. Any input is appreciated :D Thanks.

    I'm still updating my resume. Just about re-did the entire thing. This feels like a full time job haha!

    I mainly want this job because its a larger environment and theirs more room to grow. I believe they support 500+ users whereas I currently support 110. They definitley have more servers and networking hardware for me to play with and thats what I want. To be honest, anywhere is better then my current employment because there is no room to grow. Its just me and the IT manager. He's retiring in 7 years which will probably make me the Sys Admin but I don't want to wait that long. Cheers.


    Position Summary:
    • Position reports the Manager, Information Services
    • Assists clinical and non-clinical areas in Tier 2 support of technology
    • Provides system administration for various technologies
    • Provides 24/7 on call support

    Responsibilities:
    • Provides system administration and support for various technologies such as email systems mobile device support, single sign on.
    • Supports clinical and non-clinical areas in the use and troubleshooting of technology supported by Information Services.
    • Works with project teams to provide technical expertise when required.
    • Participates inn 24/7 on call with other Technical Analysts, providing primary on call on a rotating basis.

    Qualifications:
    • Undergraduate Diploma or Degree in a technology related field.
    • Minimum 3 years of work experience supporting technology.
    • Minimum of 3 years of work experience in system administration in technology
    • In depth knowledge of Microsoft products (including but not limited to MS Windows, Active Directory)
    • Knowledge of devices such as Desktop PCs, tablets, Blackberry, iPhone, etc.
    • Knowledge of networks, wireless networks (Cisco Switches & Routers, DHCP, DNS)
    • Excellent written and oral communication skills
    • Able to work in both a team environment and independently.
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