What to do with a "bully" boss?

loss4words

Hey guys,

I think that this is something a lot of us has dealt with but this issue has been bothering me for few days now and I wanted to post here and ask for a suggestion.

Several years ago I worked at a company where a technician (I'll name him Bruce) who was working there took me under his wing and helped me become better. My boss at the time was kind of a bully to me and if it wasn't for Bruce I don't know what would happen to me. Needless to say I owe him a lot for that, he was the nicest guy ever. Although me and Bruce never hung out outside of work we were good friends while on the clock.

Fast forward several years later I'm working at a different company, while Bruce becomes a department manager at my old one. Bruce contacts me and invites me to come work under him. Although I'm happy at my current position I decide to go work for Bruce who offers me a bit more money and possibly a promotion in the future.

When I started I noticed that Bruce isn't the same person how I remember him. He's not a bad guy at all, but the way he's treating me compared to how he treats my other co-workers is really bothering me. I would say he treats me as a young kid. I don't get paid overtime and if I decide to stay at work late to work on the project he tells me to go home. From time to time he makes unnecessary remarks seemingly just to make me feel bad. On the other hand he seems excited about the project I'm working on and is willing to put out a lot of money for it because he sees how my project could make the department better (make company more money).

Maybe I'm just too sensitive, and admittedly I can be, and people change over time, but I need to feel like I belong and that I'm part of the team and that I'm respected. I don't feel that way at all right now. I don't want to feel bad every evening when I go home because of something he said. What do you guys think?

SteveO86

Working for someone, compared to with someone will no doubt change the situation. Things won't be the same as they once were.

If you don't get paid overtime, and you work late. He might be telling you to leave so your not working for free. I had a manager that would tell me to stop working and go home, but I also said that back him from time to time since we were both working 70+ hours a week. So him telling you to home may still be his way of trying to help you under these 'new' circumstances.

Hard to tell, but I would keep pushing yourself to do the best job you can. No bad can come from that.

dpsmooth15

If you are looking for someone to show you affection you might want to buy a dog, i suggest a golden retriever. If you want a pat on the back I suggest joining a baseball team. You are like the dog that gets the newspaper and looks up at you….....for you to rub his tummy and say "good boy". You have a job to do, do it. You do not have to stay overtime to brown-nose to get a promotion in a business where 1. no overtime 2. the "boss" wants you to leave when the shift is done. Just give 100% at whatever you do, then you will sleep better at night. Dont let another individual influence you mentally(negatively)

networker050184

I don't see anything wrong with your boss telling you to go home since you aren't getting over time. That is a good boss in my opinion.

Not sure about the comments as you haven't given any examples.

Chitownjedi

Examples please.

thenjduke

Examples????

Zomboidicus

Depending on how severe these comments are, he could simply be using a friendly-but-sarcastic tone. Maybe he feels like you are closer to him since you have worked with him for so long, that he feels you are a friend, and thinks he can bust your balls. On the other hand, he can't do so with your co-workers because he hasn't known them as long. But as others have said, without examples of these comments, it is hard to tell.

the_Grinch

No overtime pay, go home and he's a good boss for telling you so. I'd need examples of the comments that he is making, but I would close with this. In IT you truly need to have a thick skin. The stone busting that goes on in IT is one of my favorite aspects, but sensitive people tend to not enjoy it. Comes with the job and you get use to it at one point or another.

paq7512

He may just be like this since he is a in different role and he got "big headed"?? You may feel bad because you had that "friendship" with you before??

tecke

You have to ask yourself "why I am always being bullied?". Are you looking for special attention from your bosses for the work you do? These are some of the questions you have to ask yourself as this seems to be a personal challenge that you must conquer. Life can be unfair and harsh and no one cares because their life is unfair and harsh too, so you must become stronger and less reliant upon the approval of others, work hard, and better yourself FOR YOURSELF!

Chevel

O_o Seriously can we trade.