Problem with Motivation...
Hi All,
I graduated from college in Network/Systems in 2011, so I'll have been out of school for about four years this spring 2015 coming up. Anyway....
So, been having kind of a rocky start in the field and would like some advice, wondering if maybe I can benefit from anyone else's experiences. It's been almost a year since my layoff in February from the last job and I am a little worried to say the least. I have been pretty burnt out since and have not worked another job in that time. I decided to take a break while I collected unemployment, and focus on what I really want. I toyed with the idea of becoming a writer, but then I lost focus due to life circumstances and didn't end up producing anything of value, other than a whole bunch of incomplete, barely-started manuscripts. Well, anyway, this is probably more of a self-discipline problem, but here it goes.
I have this very deep need to devote myself to something, yet whenever I get motivated by something, it doesn't last and I end up falling off of whatever it is I'm aiming for. I actually have the intelligence to go for some certifications, but I lack the drive. I'm 28 and I'm already burned out. I come from a helpdesk background, so I guess this probably doesn't surprise some of you according to what I've read from other professionals going through the same thing.
For years I thought, I'm probably just way too lazy, but recently got diagnosed with adult ADHD-PI. So while I am 'lazy' in the traditional sense of the word, it's not because I want to be, it's just the lack of dopamine in my brain. if I take my Adderall (which I am prescribed), then I get a real jolt of productivity and can get some damn things done. Problem with that medication though, is if you're like me, you develop a tolerance super quickly and then you gotta take a break from the drug to restore effectiveness, and let me tell you, I am far from productive during those periods.
So, it's been a month since I've been off the medication (except today since I had a job interview for a sysadmin position) and right now I'm trying to do what everyone else does, but without drugs. I'm basically trying to make something of myself without any shortcuts or tricks, but damn, how do some of you guys do it? The other day I tried reading some CCNA material, and what's nice is with my industry experience so far, I can actually grasp it, unlike my college days where it was all very alien to me at the time.
So some questions:
- How on earth, do you retain all that certification material? That's one of the main things holding me back, I constantly wonder why even bother getting a certificate if I don't have the job to put my skills to use and how will I remember every single thing I learned? I did some Cisco subnetting a few months back when prepping for the CCNA and actually knew what I was doing, but few months later, You couldn't pay me enough cash to remember what the steps are, it's like another person did it. I have the memory of learning it, but I forgot it. How much do I need to repeat and practice until it permanently burns itself into my memory? This is what is frustrating me. I want to learn and grow, but it seems like I don't recall things easily enough and this holds me back because it makes me not want to study, knowing in the back of my head that I'm just going to brain **** what I've learned in a matter of time. I almost feel like my diploma is just a nice piece of paper at this point and doesn't really mean anything anymore.
- Recommend any websites I should be frequenting? Any books I should buy? While on that note, I find it's hard to keep on reading a book, I just get way too bored and it feels like a real chore, even though all I have to do is read and absorb some knowledge. Is there any kind of a trick you guys use to push through this?
- Do some of you have photographic memories? Seems like some people I speak with are packed with knowledge, so much that I feel almost like an idiot in comparison. How are some of these people learning so much at such a rapid pace? Are some people just that talented and quick to absorb knowledge than others? If I learn a skill in IT, give me a few months and I completely forget everything on that subject pretty much other than the high-level overall concept. Maybe I'm just stupid or something, it did take me literally years to understand what a main function does in source code. (kindof a repeat of question 1)
- How do you stay motivated knowing that in a year or two that your knowledge will be obsolete by some newer, more efficient platform? I want to learn, but I feel like it's like a futile effort to stay "up to date."
- Do any of you find certification material dry? I love IT, but learning new things has always seemed like such a major drag on my mind, even though I know what the rewards are, it's not enough to get me through that process of reading and reading and reading, and then practicing on some virtual machine.
That's all for now, but if anyone could provide some insight I would really appreciate it. Thanks.