How do you deal with a manager putting you down? (Rant)

InfoTech92

Hey guys,

Sorry if I I fat finger. I'm positing this from my phone.

So, today I had a little issue. Let me start off by saying I'm slightly new. I just graduated school 6 months ago. I do Jr Sysadmin/support. I needed to create a .PST for a user. I never did it before. It's just something that never came up since I started here 4 months ago.

So my manager makes a stupid remark "this is basic stuff". Yes, it's extremely basic. I looked it up and it's three steps. I understand it's basic, but I never did it before....

My question is, how do you deal with this when you first start in IT? It made me feel pretty bad. Yet, two days ago I had to show someone who's been here way longer then me how to create a reservation in a DHCP scope. That's basic, but did my manager say any stupid remark to him? Nope.

coreyb80

I would honestly suggest developing thick skin working in IT. Take it it learn from it and keep it stored in your memory shall it arise again you know how to handle the situation. It's been times here where I've made mistakes and got the jokes as such about it, but it is what it is.

BGraves

How do you deal with this?

Well I'm of the opinion...you keep your mouth shut, enjoy the little victories (DHCP reservation) and suck it up when you get put on blast.

How you respond to criticism, mistakes, and just plain jackassery will go a long way towards improving your own character and showing others how you respond to those issues.

It sounds like you're doing just fine btw, keep on learning and don't give up!

E Double U

coreyb80 wrote: »

I would honestly suggest developing thick skin working in IT.

Works in my professional and personal life.

InfoTech92

Thanks for the kind words everyone. It just sucks to bust your butt all day, go home, lab, bust your butt some more, and it go unnoticed. I feel like no one ever sees the good you do, just the bad.

networker050184

The same way you deal with jerks in any part of life. Ignore it and keep on keepin' on.

E Double U

InfoTech92 wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words everyone. It just sucks to bust your butt all day, go home, lab, bust your butt some more, and it go unnoticed. I feel like no one ever sees the good you do, just the bad.

Someone will notice. Patience grasshopper!

ImThe0ne

coreyb80 wrote: »

I would honestly suggest developing thick skin working in IT.

Couldn't agree more. You'll get picked on, made of fun, etc for every little thing.
Especially since you're the new guy. One day, you get to do it back and it makes it all worth it. Most IT professionals are big cutups and have a great sense of humor. The ones you find that are actually dicks, just deal with them and keep moving. If you let it get to you, it will only distract you from life's ultimate goal.

jamesleecoleman

The more you care about what people say, the more control people will have over you.

I used to be stressed out and I felt like I was backed into a corner everytime someone said this or that or complained.... I cared a lot. Sometime later, I was at the forums on Quiet Professionals and read a post about emotional awareness or something like that. After that, I was just gonna not care about what people said. I had talked to management about stress relief programs and I got a pamphlet about it but put it aside.

Don't let the small things that people say to you get to you. If people wanna give you crap, then give it back. Make sure you document what people said to you during that day so if someone complains about you first (and not being a grown up about it), instead of coming to you about it.. you'll have something to go on.

kohr-ah

As others said learn to ignore it.

Just make fun little comments in your head about it then move on.

diggitle

Here is a good book that deals with dealing with people. It's called the: The Primal Shrug: A Technique for Straightening Out Your Fouled-Up Life[h=1][/h]

• ISBN-10: 0595201644
• ISBN-13: 978-0595201648

The Primal Shrug: A Technique for Straightening Out Your Fouled-Up Life: Ryan Layne Whitney: 9780595201648: Amazon.com: Books

Codyy

Take it as motivation. Lab and cert up, gain experience, do everything you can to improve. Who knows, the boss that insulted you may be coming to you one day asking you to sign his time card.

Never piss off someone who's younger and motivated, you never know where you'll see them down the road.

E Double U

Codyy wrote: »

Who knows, the boss that insulted you may be coming to you one day asking you to sign his time card.

I have seen this happen!

Fulcrum45

What you do is punch him in the arm and then tell him that you only used "15% power that time". He'll know not to mess with you again Better yet, don't do that at all. In truth neither one of you are wrong- it IS basic stuff but that doesn't mean it isn't new to you. This your time to really grow and learn to accept the "cuts" and "bruises" along the way.

Luis103

Doubt as fuel my friend

Instead of using it to diminish the fire, use it to make it brighter

OfWolfAndMan

coreyb80 wrote: »

I would honestly suggest developing thick skin working in IT.

This is great advice. Just make sure you know who not to say certain things to .

InfoTech92 wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words everyone. It just sucks to bust your butt all day, go home, lab, bust your butt some more, and it go unnoticed. I feel like no one ever sees the good you do, just the bad.

It happens to the best of us, man. Keep moving forward with your academics, certs, learn as much as you can, take as much advice from the gurus as possible, display those learned skills, and the noticing will eventually come.

pevangel

Why don't you talk to him about it? Don't make assumptions on what his intent may have been. He might just have been joking and did not mean to offend you. You won't know for sure until you talk to him.

Ertaz

As others have said, your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your lumps, build your credentials, and pay your dues.

Shoe Box

Wait until you and this manager are alone, then say to him “Look here, you fat f@#k, if you have something work related to say, then do it. But if you want to start giving me a hard time for no good reason, I’ll come by (tell him his home address here) after work and you can open your big mouth to me then."

He will get the idea.

SpetsRepair

Ertaz wrote: »

As others have said, your career is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your lumps, build your credentials, and pay your dues.

Would this mean taking a job a little beneath your skills just to build up a heftier resume? Is this really necessary?

Codeman6669

all he said was "thats a basic thing" ?
Yeah ok, hes kind of an ass, and your new trying to prove yourself so you take it a little more personal than you should. Really, its no big deal, dont mention it, move on and laugh. Myself id even say something back to him like "damn newbs" or "so easy i forgot!". It goes a long way to be a person in IT that dosnt get butt hurt all the time. The best guys i work with can admit they are wrong or unknowing. Hell we all forget basic things sometimes.

beads

I have what three freshers out of college, a couple IT veterans and a Project Manager turned "Security Manager". I am still nice to each and every one. Basically it depends on who your working with and how long it takes to establish yourself as being competent. This is true whether your new to IT or a senior practitioner with decades of experience - there is no free lunch here in IT.

- b/eads

echo_time_cat

Codeman6669 wrote: »

The best guys i work with can admit they are wrong or unknowing. Hell we all forget basic things sometimes.

I recall having to show one of our Sys Admins how to find the signature settings in Outlook one time, when we were working on a spam filtering (of said signature) issue and trying to reproduce it. Now this guy could probably virtualize our entire company before I roll out of bed in the morning. It happens to us all from time to time.

@InfoTech92 - Don't worry about it at all. As others have said, develop that thick skin, learn from it, laugh, and move on. That's one of the great things about IT, it can be continual learning. Cheers!

JustFred

coreyb80 wrote: »

I would honestly suggest developing thick skin working in IT. Take it it learn from it and keep it stored in your memory shall it arise again you know how to handle the situation. It's been times here where I've made mistakes and got the jokes as such about it, but it is what it is.

That is not for everyone. You can always say things to people in a professional way that does not affect their confidence and bring them down.

I have met a lot of people i would call jerks, but i usually ignore them. Yeah i have a thick skin, but it is not for everyone.

My professor once told me a story about a place he worked where some of his colleagues were real assholes to one of the members of the team, needless to say it affected her so much she didn't even look while crossing the road in front of their office and was hit by a car dying on spot. That's not really something you want to spend your life wondering what IF is it?

Anyway, you can speak to people without being an ass or mean spirited to them. End rant

Blackout

So I agree thicker skin is a good thing. But honestly a manager is someone you should trust not fear. It is a leaders job to push people to their potential without destroying their confidence in the process. Leaders need to know that each person requires different leadership, When I was in the military and a supervisor its one of the first lessons you learn. Some will work harder because of an ass chewing, others will break down and become less productive because of said ass chewing. Leaders need to know the difference and adjust their leadership style to each individual.

thenjduke

Punching someone in the face is basic stuff too you should of said. LMAO just kidding do not do that. I honestly use to deal with this stuff many moons ago. You just look it up and learn from it. I promise you that you will never forget how to make PST file again. Honestly why do people make PST files these days. Exchange and other email programs offer archiving.

ccnpninja

E Double U wrote: »

Works in my professional and personal life.

Works for me too in professional life.

vinnypolston

Ouch. Man that's no fun. Just hang in there you got this. Being the newbie is never fun. I agree with what other said about growing thick skin so it doesn't bother you.

On a deeper note what I have learned from my personal experience is the 80/20 rule.. 80% of the time when someone acts like that they have something going on personally and struggling to deal with it. Take that opportunity (after a cooldown period) to be friendly to that person. The other 20%... people are just jerks.

--chris--

I have learned there are two types of feedback. The type that matters and the type that does not.

The type that matters is the stuff that is documented, stored on a record or email somewhere and brought up during performance reviews. Example: A client emailing in and saying "hey this guys great, send him back whenever possible", a manager emailing you saying "this is becoming a problem, correct your actions", etc...

The type that does not matter, like the verbal smack down you received. Thats either your manager venting frustration onto you (undeserved) or just the managers personality in which case its nothing to sweat. If that just this person personality, this is most likely not going to be something that shows up during your reviews / evaluations.

E Double U

vinnypolston wrote: »

On a deeper note what I have learned from my personal experience is the 80/20 rule.. 80% of the time when someone acts like that they have something going on personally and struggling to deal with it.

Very true! The biggest a-hole in our office has a wife with an inoperable brain tumor. One woman in my office has an abusive husband and kids that disrespect her daily. I've worked with two very angry men that both had children with serious medical issues. When someone is unpleasant to me I just try to imagine what they may be dealing with and tell myself that it is nothing personal.

UnixGuy

Put things in perspective. Here's what really happened....

1) He made this comment (for whatever reason...maybe he had a bad day, or maybe there is something about your attitude that he doesn't like or maybe he is a jerk or maybe he said it light heartedly and meant no harm...).


2) You care about what he thinks of you. This is where you can improve, you have career goals, what this random person thinks of you shouldn't matter. Stay focused on your goal. You want to learn and improve? Whatever he says and thinks doesn't matter AT ALL.


3) your ego is involved, take control of it. You are a great man with great value to add and you're not your job. This is a temporary job and just a stepping stone in your career, but the fact remains; your career and your personal worth must be two separate things. Keep the ego in check..


How to deal with it? Learn to take life a lot LESS seriously...it's a basic issue? I could think of 100 come backs that, 99 of them are hilarious and will make the guy like you and make him a buddy of yours..what I'm trying to say is, there are ways to turn this around and make it in your favor. Focus on your own learning path, and consider winning the guy over on a personal level rather than trying to woo him with your technical abilities.

Something to think about..