Confidence

So I work as an IT manager for a company that's about 100 people. I don't really have anyone under me anymore since we downsized. Our network is super simple. We have a VMware environment with Zero Clients for all local users and Mac laptops with View for remote users. I make decent money, but we don't really use anything besides MS Office\Internet and few other minor programs. I am bored and I would like to make a lot more money

I have a lab ready to go. I will do MCSE, then VMware, then Cisco. I have the whole thing planned out, but my confidence level is below zero. I am pretty good with what we have right now, but I feel literally scared that I won't be smart enough for more advanced stuff. My wife says that I have the aptitude for IT (network\admin) stuff and that I am being irrational about this. On the other hand I feel like when I am faced with something that goes beyond my knowledge, I fall apart. I start feeling and thinking that, "Hey this is not my thing and I'll never been as good as I need to be at this. That there are people who are super natural at this and for them all this comes easy, more or less. For the most part I know what I am doing, but I also understand that I know may be 10% of what I should know in regarding to MS, VMware, Cisco and just everything that entails being a network\system engineer. Its just something I've been doing for about 10 years, but I never got ahead. I've always been stuck at basic tech support then level 2 and then have been comfortably bored for about 4 years as the IT Manager for my firm. I spend half the day doing absolutely nothing. I know I could be learning so much, but I am stuck because I don't know if this is something i want to do for the rest of my life. I am not saying I am doing the right thing by not doing anything, but I am seriously stuck emotionally. My hear is telling my to do something else, but my brain is saying the opposite, that I should learn all this stuff and make twice what I am making right now and its just a matter of learning, practicing, etc.

Am I being irrational and because of my insecurities and lack of self confidence, I think I am going to fail before I even begin this journey or do I have valid concerns that just may be this is not what I am suppose to be doing and I will never been good at it?

PS. If there was something else I was good at, almost anything else, that allowed me to make the same money I am making now, I would do it. I don't hate IT, but my brain hurts sometimes to the point of thinking that I would rather live in a box than do this for a living for the rest of my life.

What are your thoughts?

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Comments

kurosaki00

Good advice in this thread (made by a familiar user):
http://www.techexams.net/forums/mcsa-mcse-windows-2012-general/112486-mcse-confidence-level.html#post956549

Amadan

So many "It Managers" out there who dont know much....

paul78

A little fear and apprehension can be a strong motivator if you can harvest it. I personally never take for granted about my talents or skills. It sounds like you may be reaching some of that self-realization that could help you get out of a rut. If you can embrace where you are and just get started - in a year this will just be a memory. Just get started in whatever small way that you can. Don't over analyse and open that book, video or whatever learning aid you can find.

Good luck.

NetworkingStudent

I can see where you are coming.
It's scary to learn new things, especially when it comes to IT.
Your company believes in you and your talents, because they made you the IT Manager.
Also, your wife believes in you too!!
Now is the time to believe in yourself!!!

You need to pick your fav technology Cisco, Microsoft, or VM ware, and start studying the one you like the most first.

Checkout the sites:
Plural site
and It Pro TV for video training.

thomas_

Just learn a little each day and forget about the end goal where you are super brilliant and know everything. It's easy to become discoursged when I compare my level of knowledge now to where I want it to be. I find that if I take a deep breath and just focus on taking small steps towards my goal, then I feel a lot better about it. A small step can just be 10 pages a day reading about something or studying 10 pages a day. Small steps have huge cumulative effects overtime when taken consistently.

Simrid

As the other posts say, don't let the knowledge threaten you. You will get there, lab lab lab revise revise lab some more. We all started with little knowledge at one point, even the CCIE's. Got to start somewhere.