Daycare vs. IT career

Rockets34Life

Hello everyone,

Currently between a rock and a rock. I'm on contract working as desktop support/sys admin and coming near the end of my contract. There is a good chance they will either extend me or offer me a full-time role. I was going to accept whatever they give me while I look for another gig.

Well, last Monday, things just went upside down, but in an awesome way! My beautiful daughter was born. My wife has started maternity leave and it will end in the beginning of May.

The dilemma I have is putting a 3 month old baby in the hands of an in-home/external daycare with other kids who might be or will get sick or if they neglect her. My wife thinks it's ok and I was onboard with it, but now I'm getting second thoughts about it. My parents live in Houston and my in-laws live in Florida. Already talked to them and they told us they are not going to move to where we're at.

So I'm thinking of putting my 10 year experience of IT on hold and work nights doing non-IT (IT job working nights are scarce - help desk (going backwards, but might do it) and NOC (only 12 hour shifts and who will watch the baby during the day?))

Stay-at-home dad? My wife doesn't make enough to cover me and the baby.

Is there another option other than doing a non-IT job or just being a stay-at-home dad?

Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

TIA.

Devilsbane

Rockets34Life wrote: »

The dilemma I have is putting a 3 month old baby in the hands of an in-home/external daycare with other kids who might be or will get sick or if they neglect her.

This is something that you might just have to accept. It would be great to be able to stay home and take care of your own kid, but for most people that just isn't possible.

If you choose to go the daycare route, your job is going to be to get out there and interview prospective sitters. Do your best to try and weed out the lazy ones from the ones that are actually going to help your child. And then even after you select one, continue to do little checkups to make sure that they are raising your daughter the way you want her to be raised.

Congratulations on the baby.

Stiltz79

What about consulting??? Could you be an independent consultant?

sambuca69

Rockets34Life wrote: »

Hello everyone,

Currently between a rock and a rock. I'm on contract working as desktop support/sys admin and coming near the end of my contract. There is a good chance they will either extend me or offer me a full-time role. I was going to accept whatever they give me while I look for another gig.

Well, last Monday, things just went upside down, but in an awesome way! My beautiful daughter was born. My wife has started maternity leave and it will end in the beginning of May.

The dilemma I have is putting a 3 month old baby in the hands of an in-home/external daycare with other kids who might be or will get sick or if they neglect her. My wife thinks it's ok and I was onboard with it, but now I'm getting second thoughts about it. My parents live in Houston and my in-laws live in Florida. Already talked to them and they told us they are not going to move to where we're at.

So I'm thinking of putting my 10 year experience of IT on hold and work nights doing non-IT (IT job working nights are scarce - help desk (going backwards, but might do it) and NOC (only 12 hour shifts and who will watch the baby during the day?))

Stay-at-home dad? My wife doesn't make enough to cover me and the baby.

Is there another option other than doing a non-IT job or just being a stay-at-home dad?

Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

TIA.

Does your potential employer offer day care?

As far as leaving your seed with others, I know where you are coming from. I'm lucky to have both sets of parents willing to watch mine.

A lot of daycare places have webcams now, so you can "see" what is going on at all times. Would that ease your mind somewhat?

Devilsbane

[QUOTE=sambuca69;500629A lot of daycare places have webcams now, so you can "see" what is going on at all times. Would that ease your mind somewhat?[/QUOTE]

And if they don't, you can offer to implement one for them

(for several months of free day care, of course)

msteinhilber

Interview any potential daycare providers. Most states have licensing programs for daycare providers, though there are unlicensed providers as well in a lot of those states as well. Even still, a complaint can be lodged with the state the provider operates in regardless of if they are licensed or not. I've only used licensed providers and they get regular inspections that are usually unannounced and any infractions are recorded to public records that my state allows you to view online. Find a few you seem to like and stop by and talk with them, check out any state resources to view possible infractions they may have.

Regarding them potentially getting sick, it's a fact of children in childcare facilities. You could have a facility that is run by a person who is OCD about their cleaning and kids would still pass illnesses from child to child. Just happens, not much you can do to avoid that one! Many families now are dual-income families and have children in daycare. If the facility is run well, it can be a good experience for the child IMO as it provides an environment to interact with other children. It can be daunting at first, placing the care of your child in the hands of a relative stranger - but if you do good research up front and just keep a keen eye on how things progress should you select a provider then I think there's little to worry about.

eansdad

Congratz on the baby....

I know where your comming from about leaving your baby girl. I had problems with it also except for the first 6 months I was so bad I spazzed on my wife for letting my parents take her overnight. Now my baby girl is almost 3 and has been with her sitter for almost 2 years. It's hard but you'll have to trust in others at some point. Look around at your options at daycare and talk to other parents about where they send/sent their kids.

Some things to consider are, 1) How long do you plan on being out of work or taking a non-IT job? and 2) How hard will it be to get an as good job in IT once you've been gone for awhile?

Dave88LX

Tough position. I can tell you it helps tremendously when you find the right daycare you 'click' with. I have two daughters, they are both in daycare, and our daycare bill is higher than our mortgage. It's still not worth it for either my wife nor I to stop working though.

I like them in daycare, I feel they get to develop social interaction skills every day they wouldn't be able to build at home. We have them at the Goddard School. I see what they do every day, and to be honest with you, sounds funny, but I think even at this young of an age, I think they are getting a much better 'education' there than I or my wife could give them at home.

The first couple daycares we looked at, my wife left in tears practically at the thought of leaving our daughter there all day. Then we found a place where everything just clicked, a comfort level was reached, and there were no issues or qualms about leaving here there. You will have to check out a lot of places, don't be discouraged if the first couple/few don't work out. You'll know.

I was out of work for the summer of 2009, transitioning from the military to the contractor work force. I tried staying home with my then 4-5-6-7 month old daughter. I love the girl, love her indefinitely, but I will tell you, it wears on you. I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad. Constant attention all day long pretty much. There wasn't really much time to get started on anything around the house projectwise, she'd either wake up or become hungry or need changed etc. etc. etc. I doubt you will have the 'free time' to study like you think you might. It's possible maybe, but it wasn't in my case.

My advice is to find a school you are comfortable with, if nothing else for your sanity. Good luck whichever path you take.

brad-

First, congrats.

Second, I totally get where you're coming from not wanting to hand over care to people you dont know well, and cant really observe.

You're going to have to get past that though. Just do your due diligence and get her enrolled in a place with a good rep. You'll never be able to juggle your schedule so she wont need day care.

Think past your problem here though - if you stayed home and worked nights, that means your poor wife would NEVER have a break. As much as you need to be with the new baby, it is as important to have your breaks for sanity's sake. Just keep that in mind making your decision. Maybe some ppl dont need their "sane" time, but I did/do.

I honestly think day care is the way to go. Once they get a bit older, its well worth it for them to be social and learn how to interact with other people.

networker050184

brad- wrote: »

First, congrats.

Second, I totally get where you're coming from not wanting to hand over care to people you dont know well, and cant really observe.

You're going to have to get past that though. Just do your due diligence and get her enrolled in a place with a good rep. You'll never be able to juggle your schedule so she wont need day care.

Think past your problem here though - if you stayed home and worked nights, that means your poor wife would NEVER have a break. As much as you need to be with the new baby, it is as important to have your breaks for sanity's sake. Just keep that in mind making your decision. Maybe some ppl dont need their "sane" time, but I did/do.

I honestly think day care is the way to go. Once they get a bit older, its well worth it for them to be social and learn how to interact with other people.

My feelings exactly. I was weary at first like anyone else, but you just have to find the person or place you feel comfortable with. The socialization as they grow is great also.

Mishra

I don't have any enlightening advise since I don't have kids... I only have my opinion to share.

Daycare for older (3+) kids pose about the same risks as them going to school IMO. School might pose an even higher risk.

Daycare for a newborn would be really tough for me to swallow. I think I would have to look for a trusted nanny, or just one of the parents would have to go on extended leave or quit for at least 2 years. With financial also being a concern, I see where this is an extremely hard choice.

Do employers offer daycare for newborns?

phantasm

Stay working. A 1 yr or more break in the IT field will be tough to overcome. I hate it. I get one day a week with my family because of my IT career. I need to jump to an Engineer job but I just can't seem to make it. CCNP is feeling like a must right now which means more neglecting the family. Gotta love it.

Best of luck.

Turgon

Rockets34Life wrote: »

Hello everyone,

Currently between a rock and a rock. I'm on contract working as desktop support/sys admin and coming near the end of my contract. There is a good chance they will either extend me or offer me a full-time role. I was going to accept whatever they give me while I look for another gig.

Well, last Monday, things just went upside down, but in an awesome way! My beautiful daughter was born. My wife has started maternity leave and it will end in the beginning of May.

The dilemma I have is putting a 3 month old baby in the hands of an in-home/external daycare with other kids who might be or will get sick or if they neglect her. My wife thinks it's ok and I was onboard with it, but now I'm getting second thoughts about it. My parents live in Houston and my in-laws live in Florida. Already talked to them and they told us they are not going to move to where we're at.

So I'm thinking of putting my 10 year experience of IT on hold and work nights doing non-IT (IT job working nights are scarce - help desk (going backwards, but might do it) and NOC (only 12 hour shifts and who will watch the baby during the day?))

Stay-at-home dad? My wife doesn't make enough to cover me and the baby.

Is there another option other than doing a non-IT job or just being a stay-at-home dad?

Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

TIA.

The first two years are the hardest.

We are quite lucky in that I make a decent enough wage to afford my wife to stay at home and look after our two kids. That said, it's harder than working fulltime as kids are 24/7. My CCIE is on hold as my job has me totally maxed out during the day and after work I need to pitch in helping evenings and weekends to give her a break.

This is a very personal thing and all your options are yours to decide. I would say it is better for your kids if one of you can be at home to look after them. I work from home a great deal and as a consequencehave spent more time with my son than many dads. I avoid the commute so even if I have 8 meetings Im home for meal and bathtimes most days. Is it possible for you to land a well enough paid gig for your wife to quit work? Failing that consider a NOC job where you can be at home during the day while your wife works. If you go for that just be aware that looking after babies is a very time consuming and exhausting thing at times so you will still need family or other support during the day. Being close to family really helps in that respect even if they can only offer a few hours a week, we have none close by, so when my wife has had a tough day with the kids and me at work it can be stressy at times. You will be tired after working a night shift, just something to think about so dont stack trucks all night or you will be too exhausted to cope with a newborn.

peakbagger66

Dave88LX wrote: »

Tough position. I can tell you it helps tremendously when you find the right daycare you 'click' with. I have two daughters, they are both in daycare, and our daycare bill is higher than our mortgage. It's still not worth it for either my wife nor I to stop working though.

I like them in daycare, I feel they get to develop social interaction skills every day they wouldn't be able to build at home. We have them at the Goddard School. I see what they do every day, and to be honest with you, sounds funny, but I think even at this young of an age, I think they are getting a much better 'education' there than I or my wife could give them at home.

We looked at Goddard school when we were considering pre-K readiness for our oldest, who is 6 now. We were very impressed. Goddard School is a really good place to put your kids. It's not your average daycare and the tuition reflects that. If it's in the budget, the OP should look at that (although I think 3 mos is too young for Goddard, I could be wrong).

Saying that, my wife had worked in daycare for many years and she had resolved to NEVER put our children in daycare. So she stays at home with the kids. Sure, we lose income this way, but I make enough for us to pay our mortgage and live comfortably. There's something to be said about the mother/father living the experience of seeing their child do something cute or achieve a milestone rather than hearing it from a well meaning non-parental caregiver.

powerfool

Definitely a tough situation.

Personally, I could not live with myself having one of my young kids being taken care of my a stranger in a situation where they wouldn't get much attention. If my wife and I disagreed on that, I don't think we would be very compatible.

With that being said, you have to weigh the economics of the situation. Who makes more money? That person needs to be working. Does the lower income earner make enough money cover all of the daycare and commuting expenses plus enough money to make it worthwhile after that? If not, that person should probably stay at home with the kid(s).

Now, when they get older it gets a little easier. However, the sickness situation will happen whenever they start hanging around other kids, regardless of their age. My youngest started Kindergarten this year, and she has frequently been sick.

Plantwiz

Rockets34Life wrote: »

Hello everyone,

Currently between a rock and a rock. I'm on contract working as desktop support/sys admin and coming near the end of my contract. There is a good chance they will either extend me or offer me a full-time role. I was going to accept whatever they give me while I look for another gig.

Well, last Monday, things just went upside down, but in an awesome way! My beautiful daughter was born. My wife has started maternity leave and it will end in the beginning of May.

The dilemma I have is putting a 3 month old baby in the hands of an in-home/external daycare with other kids who might be or will get sick or if they neglect her. My wife thinks it's ok and I was onboard with it, but now I'm getting second thoughts about it. My parents live in Houston and my in-laws live in Florida. Already talked to them and they told us they are not going to move to where we're at.

So I'm thinking of putting my 10 year experience of IT on hold and work nights doing non-IT (IT job working nights are scarce - help desk (going backwards, but might do it) and NOC (only 12 hour shifts and who will watch the baby during the day?))

Stay-at-home dad? My wife doesn't make enough to cover me and the baby.

Is there another option other than doing a non-IT job or just being a stay-at-home dad?

Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

TIA.

Congratulations on the baby.

If your wife doesn't have a calling for being the full-time Mom, then child care is typically fine.


However, since you state your the Dad, then go land a gig that provides for your family and if your wife finds that place where she feels safe that your income will be enough, than she'll likely feel like being home. And maybe not??

Regardless, this is a conversation you need to have between you and your wife.


If you want my 5 cents...man up and get a job so she doesn't have to worry about where the money comes from as much. Kids are in day care all the time, most adjust well. Inspect the places in your town and visit/interview nannies for in-home care if you can afford that. Otherwise, I do understand your anxiety, but TRUST YOUR WIFE.

Dave88LX

peakbagger66 wrote: »

We looked at Goddard school when we were considering pre-K readiness for our oldest, who is 6 now. We were very impressed. Goddard School is a really good place to put your kids. It's not your average daycare and the tuition reflects that. If it's in the budget, the OP should look at that (although I think 3 mos is too young for Goddard, I could be wrong).

Saying that, my wife had worked in daycare for many years and she had resolved to NEVER put our children in daycare. So she stays at home with the kids. Sure, we lose income this way, but I make enough for us to pay our mortgage and live comfortably. There's something to be said about the mother/father living the experience of seeing their child do something cute or achieve a milestone rather than hearing it from a well meaning non-parental caregiver.

Unfortunately, we put our youngest in daycare at 6 weeks old. My wife is military, and they get 6 week maternity leave and then back to work. With our first, I was still military at the time. She took her 6 weeks, and I took my two...so she was 8 weeks old when she started. Definitely not easy leaving them in a daycare at 6 weeks old.

I hear you on seeing the babies 'firsts'. My wife told me when she was talking with one of the teachers, they will usually not let parents know of any big milestones, so that at least the parent thinks they were there when whatever first happens at home.

Def worth checking out.

steve_f

I feel your pain, I was apprehensive about daycare too when my first was born. The fact of life is that in most families these days, both parents need to work. It's not like when we were kids, for the most part.

My 20 month son is at daycare since he was 6 months, they have a curriculum and I am amazed at the things he learns that I would not have taught him. He has made so many friends and in my opinion is a much more rounded child than he would be if he was at home with me or my wife all day

The daycare place is great, in the uk there are rigorous annual checks that are available to the public. All the staff have their cents in daycare, some to a very high (think MCSE CCNP CISSP standard) and most have first aid cents.

It was hard to leave him there and both go to work, but it affords us to give him a nice house with big garden In a safe area, health insurance, music and/or sports tuition (when older, if he wants) university education etc.this with 2 average salaries and some prioritisation (gotta make sacrifices for the kids)

Hope this helps, there is no right or wrong decision.

Steve

steve_f

Sorry, can't edit posts on my phone, my phone changed certs to cents above!

za3bour

We've all (Parents) have been there, my wife is an Art Director and she was doing really fine till our baby girl was born. She did have a 4 months maternity leave but after it was finished we had the problem of were to keep our baby girl. We have agreed that it's really too early to put her in daycare and that we will not do this until she's one year old.

My parents couldn't keep my baby as well since both of them are too old to take care of a baby so we had to make the decision and my wife quit her job although she was due to a promotion.

She didn’t go back to work until our baby was one year old, I didn't work extra because I really wanted to enjoy being a father so eventually we had to cut down our costs in order to survive.

Putting our baby in the daycare when she was one year old was the best thing we did, she's almost three years old and she did learn a lot in the daycare. She has a very strong personality and thank god she has strong resistant due to being ill many times when she was younger because of the mix with many other babies/kids. She is ahead of babies her age who haven’t been to daycare yet and she socialize easily. She even speaks some English words already (and all Barney's songs )

So my advice to you is to try to enjoy being a father, the first years are really wonderful and you will feel very connected to your child. If you can afford to be working by yourself only and try to reorganize things so that you lower the cost of living that would be great. Having two jobs could really affect you eventually I've tried it for one week and I just couldn't do it. Unless ofcourse you find a job that you can run remotly from your house.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide

za3bour

steve_f wrote: »

Hope this helps, there is no right or wrong decision.

Steve

Absolutely right, said very well done.

Turgon

Dave88LX wrote: »

I tried staying home with my then 4-5-6-7 month old daughter. I love the girl, love her indefinitely, but I will tell you, it wears on you. I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad. Constant attention all day long pretty much. There wasn't really much time to get started on anything around the house projectwise, she'd either wake up or become hungry or need changed etc. etc. etc. I doubt you will have the 'free time' to study like you think you might. It's possible maybe, but it wasn't in my case.

My advice is to find a school you are comfortable with, if nothing else for your sanity. Good luck whichever path you take.

I know what you mean. My wife is a stay at home mum, but after being up in the night with the baby and also looking after the baby and a 3 year old all day she can be worn out come the evening. So when Im done with work I pitch in where I can to give her a break from the kids and help out. All weekend too when there is sooooo much to catchup on household wise. A lot of projects have to be carefully thought through when you are parenting. Our 3 year old goes to kindergarten now and that is helping. But we are lucky. I work from home a decent amount, and with my salary allowing my wife to stay home both of us have spent a lot of time with our kids. Doing a 4 hour CCIE rack session in the evening just isn't an option with a six week old right now but that will change later in the year. It's a long game.

TheShadow

Turgon I seem to have missed your second blessed event. Belated congratulations to you and mum my cyber friend.

TheShadow

Rockets34Life congratulations on your new charge. As far as the job and leaving IT I would not do it. I won't be as hard on you as Plantwiz but I share her basic thoughts. Look for IT night work even if it is a lengthy commute. Is there a college or university nearby? Typically all IT maintenance is done on late night shift after night classes are over. While they don't pay as much since they are in education, those jobs often go wanting for people. Think outside of the box on who needs IT but may not advertise in traditional places. How about airport, train station, police station (laptops are in the patrol cars), court house, hospitals, computer numeric control in factories; all 24 hour operations.

Think man, what uses computers in a non traditional way and start your search on your own without the job agencies; they don't understand these types of jobs anyway. Quite often you will get formal training at the employers expense for custom tech. When is the last time that you have seen an ad for a MRI or Cat scan field technician or an oil refinery network technician (PC's control those crackers and valves). You pick up large building internal controls, air conditioning, elevator central shifting, very large security systems, city and county emergency response etc. The job can't be described other than WINTEL or LINTEL has their hands in it somewhere.

The idea is to stay as close to the core as possible not move away from it. When you, the wife and your little one are ready, you can move back to more traditional IT which I guess means sitting at a desk mostly today. Anyway you may find that you have found a new profession with more security that you enjoy as much.

Zentraedi

za3bour wrote: »

She is ahead of babies her age who haven’t been to daycare yet and she socialize easily. She even speaks some English words already (and all Barney's songs )

What about Disney? Just saying because I have a Syrian friend here in Japan and when I first met him we talked for about half an hour before I asked him "What part of the US are you from?"

He replied that he was actually from Syria and had never been to the US. Kinda shocking really. He had a perfect American accent, and spoke with all the natural idioms and euphemisms that even my Brit/Aussie friends didn't get. I even thought he was lying about the Syria thing. He just attributed his perfect English to watching lots and lots of Disney when he was young!

SteveLord

If you're even somehow thinking you'll be dumping your kids off on the first one you can find, then you're failing as both a consumer and a parent. That's why references exist. They benefit the provider, who needs the customers...and you who needs the service.

And as far as missing out on seeing their "milestones"...because of daycare....what baloney. Try being deployed overseas for a year while your kids are born and growing up. That's what missing out is. Not "omg I missed my baby start to walk while I was at my comfy 8hr office job. But then I came home later that day and saw it myself." That is just a poor excuse.

citinerd

My mother has been a licensed Daycare provider for 25+ years. She has 4-6 at any givin time. I think she takes care of the children better than some of the parents do because her job is just those children. They always do activities and rarely ever bored because she is always playing with them.

Now I am lucky because my 2 1/2 year old daughter also goes there, but I have witnessed her raising other peoples children my entire life so I know she is wonderful. My main piece of advice is ensure they are licensed and you get the oportunity to interview the providers. Ask 1000 questions. You will find someone that will take great care of your daughter.

tpatt100

We were freaking out about daycare also when our son was born. It's hard for most people who can only take 6 weeks off and it's recommended to wait until your child is 6 months due to vacinations. So my wife took 8 weeks off and we chose a day care near our house thats setup like a school with different classrooms. The staff was great, was going to look into day cares where there is just a couple of kids but every one I called the person sounded like they were stressed out. I had pictures of my son being chucked into a basement or something while the worker was upstairs watching tv.

Anyways we put our son in the bigger day care and four weeks later he had a 103 temperature which for a newborn is scary. Took him to the emergency room they gave him childrens Tylenol temp went down they said just watch him if he doesn't get better call our doctor. Our son would not sleep and kept crying unless you held him so we took turns letting him sleep on us. Monday morning he would not wake up just kept sleeping , took him back to the emergency room they said they better do a spinal tap and found he had bacterial meningitis. So I google it and go "oh sh$t" and read about all the bad things like blindness and deafness, doctors said not to worry he will be fine since we brought him back and they found it early.

Well he was going to have to spend two weeks in the hospital with an IV in his head and do rounds of antibiotics. And we had to take turns staying with him at the hospital, lucky I was salary and my employer said take as much PTO as I needed which meant I did not have to use vacation time and my wife has family medical leave so we were really lucky. Finally 10 days later he tested clean and had to wait a few more days to make sure it didn't come back.

Anyways that is what sucks about day care when they are really young. The positive? When they get older they get a ton of interaction. My son loves going to day care and is always hugging the workers there and the ladies are always greeting him with smiles. I hated taking him out of day care when I lost my job because my son loves being around other kids. I take him to the play area at the mall and he gets excited seeing kids.

SteveLord

They'll likely get sick, but that exposure is better for their immune systems in the long run. And the social interactions go a long way. I've seen THAT difference between a daycare center and someone's home.

za3bour

Zentraedi wrote: »

What about Disney? Just saying because I have a Syrian friend here in Japan and when I first met him we talked for about half an hour before I asked him "What part of the US are you from?"

He replied that he was actually from Syria and had never been to the US. Kinda shocking really. He had a perfect American accent, and spoke with all the natural idioms and euphemisms that even my Brit/Aussie friends didn't get. I even thought he was lying about the Syria thing. He just attributed his perfect English to watching lots and lots of Disney when he was young!

That would be so true, we kinda let her watch a 50/50 between Arabic and English cartoon. She used to love the arabic ones more when she was younger but now she does love English titles more gotta admit.

It is a great way to learn second language and at this age I read many articles that kids learn second and third languages in a very astonishing fast way. I'm sure just watching is not enough it's practicing what really helps you and we try to talk to her (my wife speaks perfect English she did live in US for sometime).

peakbagger66

SteveLord wrote: »

If you're even somehow thinking you'll be dumping your kids off on the first one you can find, then you're failing as both a consumer and a parent. That's why references exist. They benefit the provider, who needs the customers...and you who needs the service.

And as far as missing out on seeing their "milestones"...because of daycare....what baloney. Try being deployed overseas for a year while your kids are born and growing up. That's what missing out is. Not "omg I missed my baby start to walk while I was at my comfy 8hr office job. But then I came home later that day and saw it myself." That is just a poor excuse.

I agree, people should do research before putting their children in a daycare. Personally, if we were to do it, we'd go the Goddard/Montessori route.

"Missing out on milestones" - Well, I was there when my daughter took her first steps. That's something I would never ever forget. I guess in the long run, it's not as important as getting them into University or making sure they don't get pregnant or fall into a life of drug usage, but when it happened it was definitely a bright spot in my life up until then. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I were deployed like you were. I suppose everyone adapts to their circumstances.

Not getting into a daycare vs home care debate. There are pros and cons to everything.