How do you go about explaining to your friends,family and significant others what you

olaHalo

Plantwiz wrote:

....

are we to spend our time fixing everyone elses problems just because they assume youre a "computer guy" based on your job title?
its not about right or wrong, its more about logistics

MiikeB

I would like to add that a big problem with helping others is if you do it once, even for free, many expect a warranty.

A friend owns a computer repair shop and he runs in to this all the time. Someone gets a virus, he takes care of it. 6 months later they aren't updating the AV he installed and they get another and bring it back saying "The virus is back you should be fixing this for free."

So even if I have the time to help you now, I am going to avoid it because most importantly I value my free time as much as anyone else, and two because I don't want to hear 4 months later "That hard drive you installed got a virus" or "The new router you setup isn't working" and have people start thinking I am not good at what I do when I try to explain its not my fault/problem.

Would you ask a lawyer friend to draft up a will for you one night after work? Would you ask a plumber friend to come install a new sink? Would you ask a landscaping friend to come cut your grass?

Plantwiz

@olahola & MiikeB

Did you read what I wrote? No, I didn't say anything about lifetime guarantee. I am suggesting that if one is having a problem with folks 'bothering' them perhaps that person didn't spend the time to set the expectations from the get-go.

As far as a lawyer friend drafting a will or a plumber installing a sink or a landscaper cutting lawn....I hired a 'good' lawyer for a will. I do my own plumbing. And I landscapers install plants, not mow turf, of which I do both of my own. HOWEVER, if I had such a friend, it would not be unusal to trade services, perhaps they have a thatcher I could rent or borrow off-hours rather than dealing with a store rental. The 'friend' lawyer might 'review' a document as a second opinion, but something like the full draft I would not burden a friend with unless I hired them.

Either the circle of friends some folks have are pretty small or perhaps others are merely jumping on the rant wagon to complain. I cannot think of a time when someone hadn't offered me something for my time, and I always turn it down (always) because I give my service as a gift.

BTW, I didn't say YOU had to do what I do. I am simply surprised at how many jumped in to say "NO WAY will I help the free-loaders"( paraphrased), when I stated why not simply educate them so they don't call you as frequently. If you are good, they will NEVER understand ALL you understand even when you do provide them some assistance.

It may be wise to pick up the book "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and gain some insight on how and when to say "YES" and "NO" to help. Likewise, being very frank with how and when you'll help makes a big difference.

Consider this:
Take the path of saying, "I would really like to help you out, but this sounds important to you and I will not be able to help you until...." And only give them the day/time when you will help them. If they want to wait, then you simply fix it or fix it with them and teach them how to avoid the problem in the future.

Vs.

"I will help you" and then stringing them along so that both you and they are miserable wondering when you will finish...or when you will start.

vs.

"I can recommend some people I know who are real good at that sort of work and they charge a fair price. I will give you their number and let them know you will be calling them soon."

Perhaps some did not intend to write what they wrote, but that is what is on display so based on the words used, I can only read what is printed onscreen in front of me. I personally would grow real tired of feeling like I had to dodge people all the time to avoid certain conversation.

Like I've said, Life is short.

FastEthernet

You're right on one things plantwiz, life is short - so no way I'd waste an evening fixing other people's computers for free (or for a lousy £20). But I'm a network engineer now anyway, and that's what I tell people. And no-one hassles me now

biggene

Plantwiz wrote: »

@olahola & MiikeB


Like I've said, Life is short.

I don't dodge anyone. I've been doing IT work for a long time and I have alway tried my best to help out those who are willing to be helped. I started a help project at my church removing malware, virii, and tuning up PC's for members. I asked for $50 donations, which went directly to our churches mission fields, and I got nothing for the work at all, except the satisfaction of knowing I was doing a good thing. I handed out cards with my name and cell number on them, and asked people to call and leave a voice mail, and I would call them to arrange an appointment to perform the work. I cannot describe what sheer chaos this undertaking was. I had people calling at all hours of the day, interrupting my conversations at church with others to ask if their PC was finished yet, etc. I did my best to set expectations early, and it failed horribly. I swore then that I wouldn't put myself or my family through that kind of mess ever again.

I still try my best to help my close friends and family, but anyone else I just don't have time to put up with all the extraneous BS that goes with being their "personal" repair guy.

As you said, life is short. Much to short for me to spend time working on everyone elses issues to the detriment of my sanity. LOL.

Gene

YuckTheFankees

@Plantwiz,

YOLO! I get it, life is short. And just to clarify, I never said I wouldn't help people, I said I stopped generalizing my job as I.T. because of all the request I get to fix electronics. Then you replied with "I'm really surprised by the comments of folks unwilling to help others. WOW!", if you are not assuming I'm unwilling to help people..than we must not be talking about the same definition.

I also get you like to help people, cool, I'm happy you have the time in your life to help or at least "teach" them. But a lot of us do not have time for situations like that, I wish I did, I really do but your comments like "I do this" blah blah...does not help your point.

Plantwiz

Hey Yuck,

Did you real ALL the replies in the thread?

No, I wasn't singling you out. I read the entire thread and was pretty saddened at the responses. Why lie about what one does? Just tell people straight up and if you won't help them, don't lead them on. If you want to help, then be specific in what you expect them to do when you are done. There seems little room for people to come back and demand anyone re-do work that once was completed if the parameters are set up front.

And would you prefer I write about what 'you' do rather than what 'I" do? I have no idea what you do in your day so I cannot fairly express yours nor anyone else' response...I can speak from my experiences and I have several decades to pick from. Even when my 80+ hour weeks were 'normal' I had time to help others. What makes life so busy that people cannot help out friends?

If I wanted to single out your comment, I would have included an @YuckTheFankees rather than start in with my own reply. Who is 'assuming' now?

YuckTheFankees

Semantics.

tigerman

I use just say IT - Information Technology and if the ask what that ? I say Computers. I found most women aren't very interest in any of the particulars. good luck!

inscom.brigade

I don't much say who i work for, but I get paid to make clakety clack,

Deathgomper

After working on a DOD contract I just reply:

"It's classified"

HushLives

I just tell people I am a contractor. If they really want to know specifics I tell them we work to grant agencies ATOs and to ensure CSPs are certified to offer them cloud services.

chmod

tigerman wrote: »

I use just say IT - Information Technology and if the ask what that ? I say Computers. I found most women aren't very interest in any of the particulars. good luck!

I tried to explain what i do to a girl and her response was:If i were a little bit more stupid I would not have understood what you just said.

I said: OK I fix computers.

melissa7779311

I say IT they don't ask anymore

Master Of Puppets

Deathgomper wrote: »

After working on a DOD contract I just reply:

"It's classified"

That actually sounds pretty badass

Qord

I tell them "IT" or "technology support", both of which are correct, and then follow it up with something about fixing computer problems, particularly relating to in house programs and server issues. Most people stop there, satisfied with the answer. But if they want more, I'm delighted to go into detail!!

As far as fixing peoples "stuff"....I've fallen into the trap before, so now I'm careful how I word things. Sure, I'l fix it. But I'd rather show you how instead of just take it home and make it well again. It's usually very easy and anyone can do it if they want to, they just need some guidance and the right tools. I like to provide those, I like to empower these folks so they don't have to throw money away on a repairman. Just seems so wasteful to me. But....if you've got no interest in learning, that'll cost you a case of beer, a pizza, or some good coffee.

Bender Rodriguez

It is so irritating trying to communicate the idea to others that I am a network engineer. Most people seem to think I am a PC tech. The only time people have a remote idea of what I do is when a "Welcome to the human network" commercial comes on. Then I say, "I work with their equipment." Sometimes I just say something general like "IT Consulting" and they still don't get it, but at least then they understand i'm not with Geek Squad. Also, I thought this funny "I don't much say who i work for, but I get paid to make clakety clack," lol.

datgirl

Trifidw wrote: »

If you say you work in IT you get asked to fix peoples PC.
If you say you manage phone systems people ask you to look at their land lines


I say IT Comms...

RanMic wrote: »

I just say IT. Then if they ask specifics, then I elaborate. Not to be mean but most of them wouldn’t understand it anyway.....or not care.

I agree, most people don't have a true understanding of what IT entails, and if I elaborate they inevitably will have a computer issue for me to mitigate.

DevilWAH

To be fair this happend in all fields.

Back when I was a Scientist trying to explain what I did was a nightmare also. MY field was Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopathy's, but mention to some one you work in science and they start talking about the latest out break of Swine flue, or global warming... Or they want you to explain in 5 minutes what it has taken you years of study to understand.

So its pretty much the same now as it was then,

About7Narwhal

DevilWAH wrote: »

...Or they want you to explain in 5 minutes what it has taken you years of study to understand.

Cool story and all, but could you please explain the intricate details of this "Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopath" in a paragraph or less? I am interested, but not that interested.

DevilWAH

Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopath is a group of disease that show the same symptoms across species.

in Cows its know as Mad cow / BSE - we all heard of this one
in people its CJD
sheep its called scrapie

the condition results in loss of brain matter causing it to take on a spongey like look under a microscope

hence the name

Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopath = transmissible spongy disease of the brain, is the translation.

I could go on to the unique means of transmission which is almost unique in its method, neither Bactira nor virus but a single protein molecule. We all know of Virus and Bacteria spreading disease, TSE's demonstrate a 3rd method.

OK enough

Tackle

So basically what you're saying is you help develop the material that they make sponges out of? Got it.

YFZblu

My pen-tester friend literally tells people he tests pens. Apparently that ends the conversation quickly.

bobloblaw

Computer sh**. Only people that follow up typically also do computer sh**.

Nyblizzard

I still use this when people ask me "What did you major in at college?"

bobloblaw wrote: »

Computer sh**. Only people that follow up typically also do computer sh**.

paul78

DevilWAH wrote: »

Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopath is a...

Grrrhh... I just enjoyed/wasted that last 45 minutes reading about this topic Fascinating stuff! So I would be one of those people at dinner parties which you probably would want to slap in the face because I would be so intrigued by your answer.