Programming jokes

Master Of Puppets · October 2013

I just saw this one and absolutely loved it :

"What is the object oriented way of getting rich? - Inheritance".

There is a thread about networking jokes so I was wondering if you guys know some good ones about programming?

paul78 · October 2013

Unfortunately, it may be a very short thread. There are only 10 programming jokes in the world. One of them is funny, the other is not.

TechGuy215 · October 2013

Programming is like sex because...

• One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
• Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
• It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
• ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
• You can do it for money or for fun.
• If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
• It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
• Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
• It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
• Some people are just naturally good at it.
• ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
• There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
• One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
• It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
• Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
• Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
• Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
• You'll miss it if it's been a while since you've done it.
• There's always someone willing to write about the only right way to do things.
• It doesn't go so well when you're drunk, but you're more likely to do it.
• Sometimes it's fun to use expensive toys.
• It usually goes faster when you do it alone.
• When women hear guys bragging about it, they become disgusted.
• If you're not careful about how you do it, all sorts of nasty bugs can appear.
• ...And debugging is annoying, painful, and very embarrassing.

NovaHax · October 2013

Two strings walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll it be?".

The first string says, "I'll have a gin and tonic#MV*()>SDk+!^ &@P&;]JEASegmentation Fault".

The second string says, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

NovaHax · October 2013

paul78 wrote: »

Unfortunately, it may be a very short thread. There are only 10 programming jokes in the world. One of them is funny, the other is not.

Ha, lol...i see what you did there

JasminLandry · October 2013

One that I saw on LinkedIn earlier this week: Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#

Master Of Puppets · October 2013

Good stuff

What does C++ say to C? - You have no class..

ccnxjr · October 2013

99 bugs in the code in production,
99 bugs in the code!
Patch 1 down ,
commit it all 'round
115 bugs in the code in production!

Snow.bros · October 2013

TechGuy215 wrote: »

Programming is like sex because...

• One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
• Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
• It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
• ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
• You can do it for money or for fun.
• If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
• It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
• Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
• It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
• Some people are just naturally good at it.
• ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
• There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
• One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
• It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
• Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
• Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
• Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
• You'll miss it if it's been a while since you've done it.
• There's always someone willing to write about the only right way to do things.
• It doesn't go so well when you're drunk, but you're more likely to do it.
• Sometimes it's fun to use expensive toys.
• It usually goes faster when you do it alone.
• When women hear guys bragging about it, they become disgusted.
• If you're not careful about how you do it, all sorts of nasty bugs can appear.
• ...And debugging is annoying, painful, and very embarrassing.

NovaHax wrote: »

Two strings walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll it be?".

The first string says, "I'll have a gin and tonic#MV*()>SDk+!^ &@P&;]JEASegmentation Fault".

The second string says, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

LOL good one that got me!!!

Disgruntled3lf · October 2013

Visual Basic...

down77 · October 2013

A guy walks in to a head hunter's shop and sees brains for sale. There are bins with Helpdesk brains for $4.99/lb, System Admin brains for $12.99/lb, Network Engineer brains for $19.99/lb, and Programmer brains for $1200/lb. Being curious the guy asks the head hunter why Helpdesk, Admin, and Engineer brains are so much cheaper than the Programmer brains. With a smile the head hunter replies, "Do you know how many programmers we have to go through to collect 1lb of brains!"

Thank you, I'm here all week