Bling bling bling

Enforcer

was the sound mary was awoken to. this was the oh so familiar sound she had grown accustomed to waking up to every day, the freakin' alarm clock! , yes yet again it had all been a dream, however this time upon waking mary realised the room had changed the decor was different it didn't look the same as her normal room at

http://www.examnotes.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59779

it was altogether different, she got up got some lippy and started putting it on when . . .

jonhiker

..the comeons burst in to the room and said" oh no! wait, no, darn...wrong room."

who then exited, leaving a lrge hole in the time-space continuum, through which suddenly appeared, jeeves the butler, holding a tray with...

Enforcer

with fresh Olives on

Webmaster

and Mary looked at the olives and started out some of the 643 olives she ate yesterday, and says: "Jeeves, bring me some more, I just out some of the 643 olives I ate yesterday, or else I won't make it thru the...

Enforcer

audition to be popeye's girlfriend.


while jeeves was out getting yet more olives, Mary finished putting on her lippy, then decided it would also be a good time to put some clothes on, she walked to the wardrobe and opened the left hand door, when

2lazybutsmart

"excuse me... i just couldn't find a place to sleep last night after i lost my way" said 2lbs. "ahm.. i was thinking of sleeping on your sofa in the living room, but I saw enforcer sleeping on it so gaily, more of the house owner than a mere guest. wondering why he didn't sleep with his mistress, I slipped past him and found a nice place in your wardrobe, now if u excuse me!, i've still got a few more hours to sleep!"

Enforcer

"No" said Mary, "I think it's time you came out of the closet. Also you need to eat more you looking pretty thin at the moment, how much do you weigh 2lbs?"

Just then reeves came back with more olives, and almost spilt the lot whilst exclaiming "Mistress Mary, the window . .

2lazybutsmart

is open" he said. "So what!", exclaimed Mary. "My lady!!" said he, "You could not have possibly missed the fact that you are in grave danger!!" said the reeves. "Why? What’s wrong?" cried Mary. "Vell you don't vant to have your husband divoce you, do?" he said, now his German accent rattling like a stick on railings. "My husband is.....

Webmaster

6 feet under the ground, together with his mistress. You buried them in the backyard yourself...

2lazybutsmart

"So!" said enforcer, hardly able to get on his feet after a weary night with many adventures. "Enforcer!" shouted Mary, "Go into the bathroom and get yourself a bath, you look like a little kid's scribbling paper!". "I'm hungry!" he replied, hardly able to open his eyes. "In fact my mom taught me never to take a bath before eating my breakfast!".

"OK OK!" said Mary. "If you won't get a bath, you ain't setting a foot in the kitchen!! ". Poor enforcer, there he stood not knowing what to do with his poor self. He walked away and passed by phone on the desk. Just then, an idea came to his mind. He picked up the phone and rang up Tim Hortons. "Morning!" he cried. "Morning to you, this is Tim Hortons, may I help you" said the women on the other end. "I know this is Tim Horotons and By Gar! Don’t you ever think I'm stupid!" he screamed. "Sorry" said the women "But may I take your order please?". "YES!" he said.

"I want a Tims Own Chicken Noodle Soup, a Black Forest Ham & Swiss Sandwich, a Chunky Chicken Salad, 2 low-fat muffins and a cup of strong Turkish coffee!!!!" he blabbered and hung up the phone.

"But poor enforcer", said 2lbs, "You forgot to...

Enforcer

order the damn diet coke". so he picked up the phone, but before he could dial

2lazybutsmart

Tim Hortons, Mary was on him like a tiger. "I'm not going to pay for your order unless you show me you've got money!!!" she said. "I've got them damn money" he said. "but why would you pay for my order if i've got money? Here is my wallet if that makes you any smarter!". She took the wallet form him and...

Webmaster

... when she opened it she saw a dosen of pictures of the most beautiful women including their names and the names of the kids who were also on some of the pictures. Mary shouted: "Who are these women? Are you maried? Are these your kids? ...

2lazybutsmart

"No, they're 2lbs's" he said. "Who in the world is 2lbs!!!" she exclaimed. "Oh, you don't know him? he is the....

Webmaster

new MCDBA forums moderator at TechExams.Net... ...and owns a major company dealing in olives...

Enforcer

Mary decided it was time to put on some more lippy, what was she going to do about her forthcoming MS exam, she had not had much time to study, and everytime she did look at her books, nothing made sense, what was she going to do?

Jamesf

She's going to call webmaster for help....

Webmaster

but he knew he would end up in the picture somehow so he decided not answer the phone and redirected her call to the nearest bookstore...

Jamesf

got hold of the store tech
but the store tech couldn't help her bc....

2lazybutsmart

originated character. "do all those who come from b.c. talk so nicely?" asked the tech guy. "Well..

Webmaster

no, this is just because I eat so many olives, it influences my voice and volume. But I can keep it up if you promise to take my exam for me, so...

Enforcer

the store tech, wasn't sure wether he should or not, the voice was getting to him, and he kinda liked the weired way in which she had applied the lippy, but his conscience it the nackground kept saying "it's illegal you can't do it, it's illegal you can't do it", but that voice, those olives, that lippy, THAT MOUTH.

"dammit" he exclaimed " I can't my girlfriend will kill me"

"Why?" said Mary

"Because I promised I wouldn't take exams for anyone else. Not after the last time anyway"

"Why what happened last time?

"Well, you see, it started one late october evening, when I was closing the store, this . . .

2lazybutsmart

mesmerzing young lady stepped in. I just stood there like a stone loosing the control of my brain for a second although it seemed to be some hours to me. At last I got control of myself. "Who are you?" I asked.

She didn't say a thing. She stepped forward and placed an envelope on my desk. She turned away and walked out of the store but before she stepped out of the doorway, she turned around and said in a sharp knifelike heart-penetrating voice... "Can you keep a secret?". "Yeees I can" I said trembling all over. "Good, so can I" she said and off she went. I looked at the envelope and...

Enforcer

became aware it was starting to smoke. What should I do, should I open it, should I get a fire extinguisher, should I call for help or should I just run. I didn't know, hey maybe I could use one of my lifelines. I could ask the audience, wait I'm the only one here. I could phone a friend, ooops! don't have any. Ok 50-50 it is then, so I said computer please take away two wrong answers leaving the correct answer and one wrong answer. I was left with open it, or run. My legs were tired after all this time standing, so I went for open the envelope, i opened the envelope and inside was. . .

2lazybutsmart

a small piece of paper. written on it was one sentence and it read as follows:

"I gave you this letter on the 3rd of June, and you've opened it on the 20th of June. What have u been doing for 12 days?"

God!, I exclaimed, how could it/she ever....

Webmaster

know what I have been doing in the other 5 days ....

2lazybutsmart

He must have been... ummm first of all, it was a She not a He. Well ….she could've written that document... No no, this is the very paper she gave me 13 days ago.

Oh, God! Looks like I’m about to go crazy. I really need to see a psychiatrist. And so he snatched the yellow pages on the desk almost tearing it apart. He flipped through the pages until he got to 'Psychiatrists'. Looking through the various ads, in an instant, he knew which one he wanted. He rushed outside and hailed a cab.

"Rush me to The Enforcer Psychiatrist 13 Oxford Street!!" he yelled.

“There is no such place” said the cab driver.

“Well… 13 Oxford”… he looked at his note again “It’s 13 Oxford Street, London U.K!!” he yelled back.

“Well I simply can’t…..

Enforcer

take you there, because there is no suchy place"

"What do you mean there is no such place"

"Look Baker St in London does not have a number 13, it has a 12, it has a 14, but it does not have a 13"

"What about on the other side of the road?"

"On the other side of the road there is an 11 a 15, . . . . oh and a 12b"

"That's it , that must be it, take me there","hang on, how do you know all this?"

"coz my cousin used to live there" said Bassett Holmes

2lazybutsmart

"and who is your cousin?"

"Sherlock" said the cabby

"Sheer luck? Well I'm Good Luck, nice to meet you"

"It's not Sheer Luck, it's Sherlock" said cabby

"Oh Sheer Luck Sheer Lock, whatever.... just drive me there. But hey, wait a sec; did you say his address was 12b Baker Street?"

"Yes, and he's not a Psychiatrist, he is a private investigator"

"What!, I never asked you for him damn investigator, I need The Enforcer Psychiatrist!!! Do you get me!?"

So the cabby looked down at his yellow pages

"...The enforcer psychia.... there is one entry for that person and his address is not known, it's just blank. But there is a website instead of an address, so you might want to try that out."

“Ok then, drive me to his website. And be quick!!!”

the cabby looked up at Good Luck

“How in the world could I………

Enforcer

wait, how in the world did you know he was a private investigator?"

"who?"

"He's on first, but we won't go into that"

"who's on first?"

"Yes"

"What?"

"He's on second. Look this is not time to try out an old Abbot & Costello routine. How in the hell did you know my cousin was a private dick?"

2lazybutsmart

"...as opposed to a public one. well we all know they're usually private. I don't know whether or not that's the case in your place"

"My place, well we've got....

"Hey, cut that crap short!, Will u drive me to The Enforcer Psyciatrist or not?"

"Ok OK, jump in"

And so they...